Frustration

Saturday was by far the worst bike ride I have ever been on. I don't mind a strenous or challenging ride. Those are not the things that make a ride bad. I have been have problems with my shoes recently and just overall comfort on my bike and Saturday was just awful. I was really disappointed because it was warm and rainy and I love riding in the rain. Will tried to help me assess my form and guided me through some pedaling drills but that didn't provide any answers to my right foot problem. Then, he made a comment about how my seat was positioned. I changed it and haven't been comfortable since.

I hate being so frustrated with it because I really do enjoy riding. I discovered that it is my quiet time. My time to myself when no one else is around and I can be immersed in my thoughts... or not, depending on how I feel (except when I'm riding with Will... in which case it's an enjoy the view sort of ride).

I have a list of ideas as to what is going on, so hopefully I will get to the bottom of things soon. I hope that the discomfort doesn't deter me from my "stepping it up" goals.

Today's ride was cut short by cramping in my back. Saturday's visit to the Chiropractor won't arrive soon enough.

Making a Difference

God's timing is always interesting... sometimes funny, sometimes not. Today Will broke his bike (the frame). Interesting after our weekend trip to the bike store and my trying to convince him to consider buying a new bike. Apparently God agrees with me :-p

Now for the deep stuff...

Perhaps it comes from my background, but I have always, always been really sensitive about poverty around the world and contributing to society (by either donating time, money or both). As compared to the life I would have led in Brazil, I am extremely extremely blessed. It's very easy to forget that. Now, I always have this soft spot because those are my roots. Many people rarely ever see outside the United States, and if they do get to travel it is often to first world countries. I remember how affected I was upon returning from my mission trip in Jamaica. The feelings are difficult. They can range from guilt to confusion (why was I fortunate enough to be born where I was) to even anger (why aren't we doing more).

Tonight I was watching Primetime Live on Brad Pitt with my mom. He spoke of his travels to Africa and all the problems there ( Aids epidemic, lack of food and education, lack of medicine). As the richest nation in the world, the United States is one of the stingiest donators. And, frankly, there is no excuse for that. The campaign he is supporting is trying to change the state of Africa within our lifetimes. I feel there is no excuse not to.

It seems so daunting. There are so many causes... from aids to cancer to poverty to rebel fighters in countries across the world to women who still don't have rights to saving the environment. How do you choose one? How do you know you'll make a difference? How can one person make a significant difference? Sure I donate my blood. Sure I raised some money for Ovarian Cancer. Sure I donated my time to orphans in Jamaica. Those deeds are barely the tip of the iceberg.

What makes me so sad is that so many people (and so many politicians) choose to ignore what is going on in the world. Who cares if you ruin a wildlife reserve? Who cares if we don't donate more, the US isn't responsible for the rest of the world, we have our own problems here.

I wish I could reach all those people somehow and give them perspective. The government here, though not without its (increasing) amount of problems, doesn't persecute you. You have food and a place to sleep. Many of us have educations. And our families. A good chance at survival. Safety, security, comfort. Here, people have the luxury of not taking their prescribed medicines. Other places, they struggle all their lives for a teaspoonful of cough syrup. We complain about gas prices and commute times. I wish everyone would just band together to make a difference. I know it is difficult to choose where to start but the point is to start.

A Selfish Thought

This week is the blood drive at Tech. I like to donate as frequently as possible, but this time I've decided not to (shocking, I know!) The reason is because donating takes me out of the working out loop for awhile or keeps me from doing any vigorous excercise. This time I've decided to make excercising my priority and skip the drive. Is that really selfish? With a 60 mile ride planned for Sunday, I don't think I can afford to be missing any blood.

In other news the bond on one of my broken teeth fell off yesterday while I was brushing my teeth (and I wasn't even brushing that particular tooth at the time!) That makes me really irritated. My appointment with the dentist is next Thursday, but hopefully I can go sooner.

So Atlanta seems to have settled into the pattern of afternoon thunderstorms that I remember from every time I had a 4-6pm flight schedule (J. Scott argued that no such thing exists, but I guess this week proves me right). Which kinda stinks, because it makes riding difficult (riding in the rain = lots of fun; riding in hail = i don't even want to try it). So, I'm waiting for the current storm to clear out a little so I can go out.

Yesterday I stayed on campus after work. The plan was for Will to fix my bike and then we would go to the Silver Comet so he could check my form (I am having serious trouble with my right shoe :-p) Well, it took longer to fix than we thought (although, it's back to shifting how it was before but we've determined that there is a fundamental problem with my left shifter) and then there was a huge storm over the silver comet, so it ended up being a rest day for both of us. I like those.

Ok, it's just about stopped thundering so off I go!

Ah the Weekend

Shortly after I wrote my last post I went downstairs where I found a fortune that someone had left out from our Chinese food. It says "Education is a process of living, not a preparation for future living." Hmmm. I think someone is trying to tell me something.

Fortunately the rain stopped this weekend. That was exciting. Friday I was going to go to work for just a little bit after which I would head out for my afternoon of children, but I woke up so tired that I imed Mike (my carpool buddy) and asked if I could bail (turns out he was excited... he wanted to go back to sleep. My body just said no that morning (I try to be good about listening to it). My allergies/sinusitis had been acting up all week so I took majorly strong medicine the night before, PLUS I was recovering from a pretty difficult workout (my toughest workout day) so I decided a little extra sleep would be a good idea. No kidding! I slept for another 3 hours :-p

I cleaned a little then headed out to take Riley swimming. The weather was bad, of course, so we ended up hanging out here at my house for a little (she was fascinated with all the cats and by blowing bubbles). She scared me though... she didn't wait like I asked her to and took a fall off the top step outside... I thought I was going to have to make a trip to the hospital! Fortunately she was ok.

Alden and Kaya came over afterward. I played with them outside, fed the dinner, gave them a bath and stuck them in bed to watch Pirates of the Caribbean with my dad. Afterwards Will and I went out to dinner and came back for a long night's sleep.

Saturday was messed up. First we went to go play at the new Performance Bike store that opened in Dunwoody. I convinced will to try one of the carbon bikes they had in stock to see if it was all that he thought it would be (it was). Hopefully I will be able to convince him to get one soon. But, it was fun to play at the bike store for awhile. I was looking forward to going to Locomotion in the Garden
with him after his Engine Design stuff but he got held up with it. So, I hung out with John for a little, then we went out to dinner. Then was the fun part! We met up with Alex and Brian at Startime in Roswell and played for a few hours! We played Mini Golf and basketball and other games. Good times.

This morning Will and I got up at the butt crack of dawn to go to the Silver Comet. We rode for about 3 hours then came back here and spent the rest of the day napping and playing with the kids (pictures also to come sometime). Now I have to somehow motivate myself to do my MSE take home test.

The point of recapping everything was to say... that weekends are so much better than weekdays. But, Will says we wouldn't know hot if we didn't have cold to compare it with, which I think is a good point. I had a lot of fun with him this weekend. We talked about a lot of stuff. We revisited some of the events from this past semester and we also talked politics. It was fun :-) I especially enjoyed playing in the bike store. And riding. Oh well, here comes another week... my goal for this week: ride my bike a lot! (even though my shoes suck!)

Life in the Fast Lane

There are times when I think that I want life to just hurry up so I can get this school stuff over with and get on with "living" (whatever that means) and there are others when I wish it would slow down because I know it will all continue to rush by.

I had a hurry up moment the other day. I found out that a friend from high school, who I am still friends with but amidst the craziness of Tech (she's an ID major) we've lost touch, is getting married next month. The last time we hung out was at Six Flags night. She was wearing a ring that night, but said it wasn't her engagement ring. It was hard to explain the feeling that I got. I all of a sudden wanted to forget about grad school and get a job and start working on that life that I've always imagined I'll end up with.

Then, I guess some perspective catches up with me. Do I really want time to hurry by? Won't I wish for these minutes back later on, when times speeds by at an even faster rate? I think so. My challenge now is to enjoy where I am and make every day valuable. To look forward to what lies ahead without taking today for granted. It's going to be tough.

I go through these phases. As compared to some, I think I'm a pretty low maintenance girl... except when it comes to jewlery. I LOVE nice jewlery. And because of all the marriage/engagement talks happening, I've been amusing myself online again. Poor Will has gotten to hear about all of it... he now (almost) knows my taste... at least my current taste. I know this phase will pass. But it is exciting to think that someday it will happen.

I have been very busy (of course). Work has been taking a lot of my time, but it has been interesting. Some pretty important NASA people were at ASDL this past Thursday for a meeting, but unfortunately I missed a good part of it because I had to work on something they wanted to take back with them. I did get to watch Doc do his Jedi Mind tricks on him (we all decided he is Yoda - he has a green laser pointer) and score some more deals with them. Now I will be working on an Air Force thing.

Alden and Kaya were here both Friday and Sunday. Alden brought his new bike and Will and I took him to practice riding it. It is so cute to see Will interact with him. I will post pictures soon. Sunday we were watching OLN and everytime a cyclist was on the TV Kaya would point and say "Uncle Will!" That was really cute too.

Saturday I went swimming with Alex, Brian, Lucas and Will. We had a good time. Brian is really funny when he opens up. And Alex is always amusing, of course. We are now interracial opposite sex cousins.

Here comes another week...

Boredom

I have had absolutely nothing to do at work today. Dr. Kirby is up at NASA and we're (me, Elise, Sarah - the planning matrix team) on hold until she gets back. Yesterday when we asked for more to do Nando said he would give us something but of course that never happened (wait - I learned that lesson last summer!) so here I am. I got in this morning, checked email, read the news, when to class, went to lunch with Will Randall, now I'm back just waiting til it's a decent time to head up to Roswell (so I miss Colin 's wake-up crankiness). What is it with cranky boys named Colin? I wish I had remembered my MSE book but by the time I did I was on the on-ramp to the highway.

Anyway, I am in a cube for the summer, so that is pretty nice. I share with Jason, which is even nicer. We have fun iming (even though I can turn around and poke him... which I do) and goofing around.

I've actually been getting into the swing of things pretty well but I am still slow in the morning and getting to bed. New rule: no sugar close to bed time. Yesterday my dad brought home brazilian desserts, so I had to try one (so he wouldn't feel bad) and I think it kept me up late. Yesterday was also messed up. The morning was awesome cause it took me no time to get to work, but I paid for that in the afternoon. An accident about 8 miles from my exit on 285 shut down practically everything so that it took me 45 minutes to drive 4 miles (from the bridge to 285 from 85 N to the Chamblee Dunwoody exit to my house). So my bike ride was late so dinner was late so everything was messed up and my body didn't wind down until about 1230am (which wouldn't be bad if I didn't have to get up at 645).

I have gotten to work out the past two days so that's cool, because I want to get back to where I was (and go beyond that) before I got sick. Tuesday I was able to make it up the big hill (largest, steepest hill ever that I was only able to walk up with Will just a few weeks ago) but then my ride had to be shorter because my legs were dead. Yesterday was more moderate, but I still can tell how much ground I lost in the past few weeks.

This weekend will consist of biking, pool time (hopefully with Alex and Steve), babysitting, and the kids on Sunday. If Star Wars isn't too violent I'll take Alden to watch it. If it is oh well.

Isn't Summer Supposed to be Less Busy?

So... summer is here. For the past 2 weeks I have been trying to cram my stuff into my room at home. True that it is maybe 1.5 times the size of a dorm room, but it already has a lot of stuff in it. However, I think I'm mostly done. It's disheartening that I will move it all out again in a few months and shove it into another tiny room only to move it again in December. I enjoy being at home because of Piper, the food and being able to watch Ellen Degeneres in the evening. I also like Dunwoody for bike riding. I don't like the commute and not having a ton of channels. But I still get OLN, which is vital for the summer. I miss Alex and her craziness and it brightens my day (because I bust out laughing) to find emails from her with the subject of PENIS in my Inbox.

I have mostly been working the past two weeks and trying to get into what my summer schedule will be. I hope to ride my bike everyday and get in bed by 1030 (that is my rule... I am allowed to read if I'm in bed by 1030, no go if it's any later). So far I have already read The Notebook and The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks. Beautiful books but man did I cry a lot! Now I am reading Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton, which is awesome! Coming up next is the Shopaholic Series, The Hitchhiker's guide to the Universe, and some book J.T. recommended. If you would like to add to my list, let me know!

Work has been fairly busy and will pick up even more since we just got awarded this NASA thing (sorry, it's proprietary) and it's due by early July. Hopefully I will get to meet Dr. Griffin, head of NASA. Since all the grad students are gone for the summer Dr. Kirby hired a ton of people which means Will, Jason Liles and Alex's Brian will all be working there this summer. It's going to be tons of fun! Too bad I have to go to class in the middle of it all :-p If only there was a way to only work this summer and still graduate in the fall (oh wait... there is... but i'm not doing it).

Today I ran into problems with financial aid, then I ran into problems with Revonda Mullis. The ASDL came to my rescue with the financial aid stuff (allowing me to register for research hours) but Lexie still called Revonda a "silly cow". That's hilarious...and true. I feel like the rest of undergrad is now on the back burner and I'm just biding my time til I get to be a grad student there.

This past week was eventful since I broke two teeth (currently have bonds, will need porcelain veneers in the future), my sister moved home, I met my brother's new girlfriend (blonde, as usual) and I had to deal with the AE department. I think that's enough excitement for one week. I was able to get almost completely caught up on my gilmore girls, although I missed this week's :-(

"It Starts With De....

...and ends in lusional." That was Will's comment about my (sucky) roommate Carol after last night. But, before I explain what happened, let me explain my thoughts and expectations.

In high school there was a large gap between my maturity level and that of some of my peers. I always assumed that it was because my school didn't have very high academic standards, so those that were lower on the totem pole were also more immature. I really looked forward to Tech. I thought (for some crazy reason) that because it was a smart school the maturity level would increase. Unfortunately I have discovered that in some cases it is not only the same as in high school but is even lower. Imagine my disappointment. Among some other examples (like Mr. Chief Engineer of my design group throwing a little tantrum - which included slamming things - when the proposal wasn't the way he wanted) what happened last night exactly fits the bill.

Since the first day I moved in the girl in the room immediately next to mine has not been nice. While Alex and Jen and I tried to be friendly to each other and tried to get to know each other, Carol was in denial about having roommates. She contributed nothing. I purchased everything for the bathroom, cleaned it, as well as took out her trash. I even turned the fire alarm off (that woke up everyone in the apartment) after her not so bright boyfriend set it off somehow and just left. Carol, in fact, disliked us so much that she would look the other way or even walk in a different direction to avoid us when she saw us.

Anyone who knows me knows that I do not like a moocher, and she is a moocher. But above that she is inconsiderate, particularly with her music. It has always been loud. I understand during the day, but she generally returns at 1am, turns it on, goes to bed late, then lets her alarm go off for 3 hours in the morning (which I can also hear) after which the music immediately starts back up (and it's almost never good music). Anyway...I mentioned to her once that it was loud. I saw no improvement. I suggested moving her subwoofer away from the wall that we share. No improvement.

Then, over Christmas break, Alex gets a message through Brian from the girls who live across from us (and are on the swim team) that she had been playing music so loud that she was disturbing them. I sent her an email about it.

The next semester saw no improvement (naturally). Since asking her, emailing her, and leaving her notes didn't work I resorted to banging on the wall. I didn't do this too often, but I did do it last night. Instead of the music getting softer, it go louder. I was about to go knock on her door to explain to her that I have been tired since August because I haven't been able to sleep well and that after the past few weeks I really would like to rest when she came out of the room and started yelling at me. She immediately started swearing and raising her voice (I'm beginning to think she may have a hearing problem - everything she does is loud). Among her accusations, she called all three of us Bitches for not including her and she yelled at me for not talking to her face to face. She said I had only mentioned the noise to her once, etc. Maybe she forgot that in this country your rights end as soon as you start start affecting the rights of others.

That's where the delusiconal comes in. Hopefully I don't have to explain how crazy all of her accusations were. This brings up another thing I have thought about - how different perceptions of the same situation can be depending on who you are. She seemed very irrational and even bordering on violent so I chose to leave and start the move out process a few days early. Will (who witnessed everything from day 1), showing off his wisdom and maturity (as usual), talked me through it. He hypothesized that she probably thinks many people in her life are "bitches" and that she can do no wrong. He also pointed out how she was not open to reasoning and was defensive from the beginning, as well as how she rejected very normal forms of communication. He tried to calm me down by saying that there will always be people like her in the world and that they will always end up flat on their faces and that I just have to let them bounce off of me instead of taking me down with them (good advice, I think). I just kept asking how people could be so inconsiderate and not realize it (his explanation was that she has probably been that way since birth).

I emailed our CA regarding quiet hours and as of today they are 24 hours. I forwarded the email to her and told her we would not hesitate to report her to housing. Jen told me that she had the music on pretty loudly earlier today.

So, here I am at home. I have not gotten to move everything (I just moved clothes today... and not all of them even!) so I will be around this week to monitor her. What gets to me is that this semester I have had many encounters with these sort of irational reasonings that just leave you wondering 'wtf?' It's almost laughable it's so ridiculous...

I am definitely looking forward to next year and having fun with my new roomies and the bestest roomie of all time (Alex!!!!)

Tour de Georgia 2005

This past weekend was AWESOME! I know that it was a once in a lifetime thing (that I hope to go to every year!) and that I will always remember it. I am going to try my best to put it into words, but I know I will never be able to do the feeling justice. So, here is my sorry attempt at preserving one of the most memorable weekends of my life..

Saturday, April 23

I decided to skip my Ovarian Cycle ride and go with Will, Sarah and some guys from the Cycling team to the Brasstown Bald stage. We all met up at 630am. After stopping in Roswell to let the Malloy's dogs out, we arrived at Brasstown around 9am and began our walk up (Sarah wasn't aware that we were going to be hiking :-p).


On our way up the mountain (spray paint from previous year)

We had checked the weather forecast, but as it turns out it was wrong. But, actually it wasn't that cold walking up. We ended up hitching a ride with someone up to the parking lot, where it was really cold. Then we headed up to the very top of the moutain where we met up with Colin, Pete and Richard. It was very foggy and humid (and cold) - Will was wearing shorts and Sarah had flip flops on :-p. We stayed in the tower for a long time because it was so cold outside. After awhile of trying to warm up and dry off we headed on down the mountain to claim our spot. We found the perfect place... it was a switchback where we could see the road below us (the plan was to get two glances of the cyclists). We stayed there for awhile, trying to decipher what a man was spray painting onto the road. After half an hour people walking up said "oh look, a strong arm" and after another 20 minutes Pete says "hey, the thing going through the arm that looks like a needle is a lance!" Anyway, as we got colder and colder we decided to walk down the mountain to find a warmer place. We ended up at the foot of the mountain, which was a pretty good spot. Since we were only about 1/2 mile away from the car, Will, Sarah and I went to go sit in the heat for awhile. We sat until we thought the riders were getting close, then headed back to the foot of the moutain where Colin was waiting. After more waiting (and waiting) and laughing at Ted from the Cycling team for showing up in a garbage bag on his bike, the minute car finally came through. At this point it was after 5pm. It was totally worth it, though. I was completely awestruck as the riders came through. I didn't really get a great view because I was looking through the camera and shivering, but now I have video! We headed down the road to watch the peloton pass, then got in the car, got some food and headed home.

Will and I turned right around and headed back to Startime in Roswell for Emily and Ben's Bday Whirly Ball thing. It was a lot of fun, but the combination of being up since 530 am and alcohol put me out like a light. We ended up staying in Dunwoody that night.

Sunday, April 24
As miserable as Saturday was, Sunday was that wonderful. We woke up after lots of sleep, played with Alden and Kaya a bit, then headed up to Haynes Bridge. Turns out it's only 15 minutes away from my parents house. We pulled into the parking lot just minutes after a car of guys from the Cycling team and headed across the street. While waiting for the trailer to be ready we wandered around the other trailer displays and even got to watch a BMX bike show. It was incredible to see guys upside down in mid-air!


Maaxis BMX Show

We also got to try a GE power test... first one to light up the top light wins a GE t-shirt!


Will and Reuben competing

Turns out the bike will was on had a lower resistance so it made it difficult to win on that one (which probably contributed to me beating Pete from the cycling team)
After that we headed to have lunch in the GE trailer (Will and the Cycling Team got VIP passes after agreeing to help with a GE Curriculum thing this summer). We had a VERY yummy lunch... red meat, chicken, cake, and they were even serving alcohol (although I stuck to the sweet tea). We watched some of the race on the jumbo tv thing, went around to get more free stuff (yay for free water bottles) then finally headed up to the top of the trailer to watch the race.


Will and the view from our VIP Seats at the GE trailer - finish line behind

The cars finally started coming through and the excitement was the same as Saturday... except much warmer and more comfortable!


And the gap closes...

Sunday was also better because the riders rode the circuit 6 times... which means 6x more viewing than Saturday (although they were going much faster). We even got to see the gap between the leaders and the peloton close to nothing. After the race finished, we watched some of the awards. It was interesting to see the two girls who ended up being Tour Hostesses. I was correct - one of them was a blonde. But, it occurred to me that they probably wanted the epitomy of an American girl to be standing there... and I am not it.

At one point - after they both kissed the first award winner - Will informed me that I "am glad" that I wasn't one of those girls otherwise I would be in trouble! :-p
We didn't say for the whole ceremony so that we could try and beat traffic. We did get to pass by the Discovery Team giving autographs and their team car as well, though.


Discovery Channel Team - Best Team



Will in front of the Discovery Channel Car

All in all, it was a truly incredible, fun weekend. I am glad I chose to spend all weekend doing that. It was fun to see all the famous (more or less) cyclists, to spend time with Will around his guy friends, and to just indulge in my new fascination of the sport. I can't wait til next year (where I will ride up Brasstown before the cyclists do) and I hope to make it to some of the larger European races later in life. For the mean time though, I am completely motivated to get back on my bike (after abscence due to sinus infections and senior design) and begin working towards racing some on my own. I'm not exactly sure how to describe all that I feel... I can only say that I am fascinated, awestruck and ready to dive in!

And I owe all of it to Will - his passion for everything that he does is inspiring and he has just been amazing. He is patient enough to not only let me intrude on his one "guy thing" but also answers all the questions I have. I am truly blessed to have someone who is so giving and inspiring.

The End is Here!

We presented our senior design project yesterday. I am so glad that I can stop thinking about that now. It's all I've done for the past few weeks and I'm pretty sick of it. I think the presentation went well though. We got a lot of picky questions from groups, so maybe that means our design is good. Or, it could mean that it is bad and they were trying to expose all the holes in our design. Either way, I'll be happy if the Archangel team doesn't win (mean, I know - but they were mean!)

Today the Senior Design lecture was about working in a large aerospace corporation and being good worker and advancing. I sat there somewhat in disbelief. I'm really old enough to be getting a lecture about how to deal with your first job after graduation? It feels like I blinked and now here I am, a senior. Weird.

So the summer plans are set. Among the things on my (very long) list that I will be doing: taking two classes, working a lot at the ASDL, finishing my pilot's license (I only have the tests left to take!), riding my bike a lot, possibly taking ballet classes, spending lots of time with all of my kids, doing lots of reading, Fridays at the pool, and my very favorite - living with all my kitties (and my parents)! Should be a good summer.

The thing that is not set yet is being YJFC President for the summer. I'm not sure what to do about this. Last summer I was secretary and ended up having to take care of almost everything...dealing with missing EC members (thanks Aaron S), planning fly-ins (thanks Seung), trying to find supplies (thanks Aaron W) and ferrying airplanes (thanks again, Seung). That burned me out so much about the club that I have had a different attitude ever since and was practically counting the days until I wouldn't be the secretary anymore. I'm not so sure I want to jump in again. Plus, the ballet class I want to take is on Tuesday nights.

The thing I am most excited about is the (very strong) possiblity of my mother shipping me off to Brazil for a few weeks at the end of July to help my Grandmother move into the new apartment that we bought her (I can't get over how "cheap" things are over there). This means that I won't be able to go visit SpaceShipOne at Oshkosh, but I'm ok with that. Having never been back, I think it's really important for me to go there and learn about that piece of me that's always been slightly... blurry. It's also cool that half of my family (I have a small family) will be coming up for my graduation. I'm particularly excited about seeing my Great Uncle Ney (he is my Mom's age... and the only other engineer in my family).

Will doesn't know what he will be doing this summer yet. He will either be working full time at the ASDL or taking classes in Columbus or maybe taking classes here. He recently found out that he can't graduate this December and I am sad. I was hoping we would get to do that together.

As far as enjoying the moment, I'm really really excited about this weekend. I will be skipping the Ovarian Cycle to go watch Lance Armstrong in the Tour de Georgia. Sunday we have VIP passes for some hospitality trailer, which seems cool. Oh, and Satruday night we get to go play Whirly Ball for Emily's Birthday, which I am also excited about. Busy weekend... somewhere in there I may study a little for controls.

I was reading the Blog of a friend of mine from church who goes to UGA the other day. She wrote this:

"It has become very apparent lately that I think very differently than everyone around me. It's a good thing; I had just not been as aware of it in the past. I am increasingly greatful[sic] for the diverse high school that I went to and the upbringing that I have had....I think we are all just becoming individuals and growing up/maturing or allowing more of ourselves to show. We're not as dependent on the group for our identities anymore. Adulthood, here we come!"

Interesting that we are learning the same lesson at the same time. Except it seems like the people she is surrounded by seem to catch on a little quicker than some of the people here. Oh well, what can you do? I have been noticing then I know some truly amazing women. Amber is one example. How fortunate am I to have self confident, God-fearing, beautiful women to learn from?

I went to the ear nose throat doctor today. I wasn't very impressed. I was a little late for my appointment. Then I waited in the waiting room for almost 30 minutes. Then they sent me to an exam room where I waited for over an hour. THEN, finally, the dude walks in. Looks in my ears, looks in my nose, prescribes some more antibiotics, decongestants and inhalers and leaves. I wonder what makes him think that it'll work the fourth time around. Plus, it's extremely RARE that I encounter a situation where I feel belittled for not being an American. This was one of them. Even though he was nice and gave me samples, I won't be going back there again. To make me wait over an hour and half for 15 minutes then insult me because I'm not an American doesn't exactly earn my business. So what if it's cheap... I guess you have to pay for service. And I'm fine with that.

Here's hoping the antibiotics will work...and yay for getting to work out tomorrow morning!!!

English is not my first language!

Your Linguistic Profile:

70% General American English

20% Dixie

10% Yankee

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Hmmm.... this sounds like someone I know!

Your dating personality profile: Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active. Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.

Your date match profile: Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps his body in top shape. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living. Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Liberal 2. Athletic 3. Big-Hearted 4. Practical 5. Intellectual 6. Wealthy/Ambitious 7. Romantic 8. Traditional 9. Sensual 10. Adventurous

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Athletic 2. Practical 3. Conservative 4. Big-Hearted 5. Funny 6. Religious 7. Traditional 8. Intellectual 9. Romantic 10. Sensual

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions

Number 15

I have always felt that, being a very fortunate and blessed person, I should contribute and give back as much to society as possible (especially because of where I come from and the wonderful opportunities I have been afforded by having a "comfortable" life.) In high school I had tons of opportunities to give back: Hands on Atlanta, Mentoring, volunteering at the Breast Cancer 3-Day, Soup Kitchens with my Bible Study group, mission trips both local and international and the list goes on. I feel like it was much easier to contribute because I had much more time and a little more money.

I first donated blood my senior year of high school with my friend Laura. The drive was sponsored at our church. I found that it was a simple process and that it did not take a long time (the only drawback was not being able to workout for the next 12-24 hours.) I gave once more that year (one of my two 'bad' experiences... the lesson I learned is that Frosted Flakes is not a sufficient meal before donating.) When I got to Tech, I found all of my time (and money) consumed by school. I didn't even have time to think of places to volunteer or help out. Then, September 11 happened. MOVE shuttled donors to the Red Cross on Monroe Drive. I decided to go, since it was a simple process for me (this proved to be my second 'bad' experience... let's just say the guy missed.)

Since then I have been donating regularly. Today marked my 15th donation. The woman who took my blood pressure was excited... next time I get my 2 gallons pin! :-p

It's definitely not for everyone. I know people who always have a difficult time and get sick from donating. But for me, I always feel fine and fill the baggie within 10 minutes (that's a bad thing, right? being able to bleed so quickly... :-p) I'm glad I've found a great way to contribute that also is pretty simple and not very time consuming.

And it always makes the AE steps seem that much steeper...

Nothing I didn't already know

Vanilla Prude Whoa! You scored 3 Sluttiness Points and 21 Ethics Points! Interesting...

I'm not exactly sure why you bothered to take this test because you're obviously not a slut by any standard. On the other hand, you do seem to have a strong ethical code with regards to how you treat people. No matter where you fall on the slut spectrum through the years, your being considerate to others will keep you well and happy in the world.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 17% on Sluttiness You scored higher than 78% on Ethics

Link: The Ethical Slut Test written by PlayfulKissing on Ok Cupid

This doesn't tell me anything I didn't already know, but boy do I know some people who would get interesting grades on this test ;-)

Spring Break

Well, John still hasn't left to go sailing, which means that wasn't an option. Alex and Brian went to Cape Canaveral, and that sounded really fun, but too far away for just a couple of days. So I ended up going down to Will's parent's house in Columbus Monday.

I got there in the afternoon. We went out to dinner and to watch Robots. It was a really cute movie! Tuesday morning Will took me riding down there. The roads were so nice, I am very envious. There was a very strong headwind on the leg out, so that made me go really slow. We rode about 10 miles out in 50 mins, then came back in about 30. During the last few miles it started raining pretty hard, which was a lot of fun. It reminded me of when I was a kid in florida and would ride around in the rain. After a shower and lunch, we took a nap. We woke up to the Tornado Sirens going off, so we headed downstairs for cover. Turns out it was just a bad thunderstorm, though. After it cleared up, Will, his sister and I went "muddin" in the golf cart :-p I told him visiting there is like going to a different country. We spent the rest of the evening just hanging out, and we went to dinner with his dad and his sister.

Wednesday was the highlight of the week. We went to Callaway Gardens. I had never been there, so I was very excited. I was also really excited that Will didn't mind spending the day there with me. We took our bikes, which was really awesome. We rode from the Discovery Center to the Butterfly Center to the Vegetable Garden to the Chapel. Then we watched a Birds of Prey Presentation (which was awesome... everyone knows how we feel about things that fly) then we went to check out the Horticultural Center. It was one of the most beautiful places that I have ever been. While we were riding next to each other we started talking about how blessed we are that we can do things like that together and both enjoy them. Riding bikes around there was also one of the coolest things ever, and it occurred to me that Will is almost always present during my "coolest things ever." So that must make him the coolest person ever :-)

Pictures from Callaway...























Then, on a bonus points streak, Will took me to have dinner at Texas Roadhouse, one of my favorite places (there aren't any that are close to Tech or Dunwoody) Then we went back to his house, showered, and watched airplane shows for the rest of the evening. Talk about a perfect day. :-)

Thursday we woke up late and had a lazy day. I headed home in the afternoon. Overall it was my favorite Spring Break, tied with last year's airplane/Ft. Walton trip. I am glad that we ended up doing exactly what we wanted to do. We talked about how some people would call our break "boring," but I think we proved that boring and healthy can actually be wonderful.

The Coolest Thing I Have Ever Done!

Although Will and I have been dating for awhile, I had never seem him race. He says it's because he doesn't want me to see him being "competitive." This year the race hosted by GT landed on my birthday weekend. I asked him if I could go watch and he said ok (probably because it's my birhtday :-p) Anyway, then he said, or, you could even race.

I have always thought that I would try it some day, but perhaps not so soon. I have only had my bike for six months and have only been making real progress with my workouts in the past month or so. But, he assured me that I would help the team because even last place will score points (not enough girls to fill all the spots) so I thought what the heck. I had been noticing my own progress and so now I wanted to see how I could do compared to the other girls. So, as part of my birthday present, Will said he would pay for my membership with the Cycling team and I ordered my license online (hopefully I get a lot of points for letting him buy me bike stuff - a seat for christmas, gloves and dues for my birthday :-))

I had planned on only doing the road race (30 miles) but when I got there everyone said the time trial was a good preview of the course so I decided to try it. Originally the plan was for me to ride near/with Kelly, another girl on the GT team, but as soon as I got going I got excited and threw that idea out the window. The course was almost 8 miles and I wanted to do in in 30 minutes. That would mean an average speed of 16mph, which is easy for me to hold on flats but this course was very hilly.

Me and My Bike, after first hill of the time trial (Will raced up the hill after he finished his to take my picture)


So off I went. I got passed by the girl who started after Kelly after about 2 miles, and the girl who started after her after about 4. I was able to keep up with them (mostly) until the last big hill. My computer recorded a time of 31.14 (including cool down) and an average speed of 16mph, so I met my own personal goal. That is the fastest I have ever gone up some of those hills. I ended up getting 7th place, Kelly got 8th. The officials recorded my time at 32:30ish, and the girl ahead of me got 29something, so I know I have my work cut out for me.

We went and grabbed some lunch with one of Will's teammates and his gf who races for UGA, then came back. My legs felt dead. I was certain that I wouldn't be able to ride that course 4 more times. Well, I think I could. But, the grouped my women's group with the Men's C group, so I doubted that I would be able to keep up with them. I decided to try anyway. I wanted to get some experience riding in a big group, because until that point I had gone out with only 3-4 other people. Well, the race started and I found myself all alone before the first turn, with the exception of some poor girl that was behind me. My legs felt pretty bad, so I decided to just drop out of the race and ride in the wheel car behind Will's group so I could watch him. I feel like a quitter, because I know I can ride those distances, but at the same time I didn't want everyone waiting on me to finish the race and I also didn't want to hurt myself (this is supposed to be my recovery week anyway) I also knew that just finishing the race would score points for the team (15 places... only 9 girls) so I really wanted to do it for that reason, but I was at my physical limits.

I enjoyed following in the wheel car. Will was in the middle of his group most of the time, so I got a few glimpses of his helmet every once in a while. He did very well (in my opinion) especially since he's not in shape yet. There was a crash in his group and I was so afraid we were going to drive up and I would find Will splattered on the pavement, but he was fine. I've never seen bikes bent that way before though :-p I was able to get out of the car and watch his finish. I am so impressed with him. I knew that he was having a hard time but he really can push himself. Plus, he did all that after doing well during the time trial! And, I discovered that he wasn't kidding when he said he got all salty.

There are a couple of other races nearby that I would like to go to, with the plan of riding the road race. My goal first goal is to be able to finish one (Kelly has never finished) and my goal after that is to finish one not in last place. Maybe it is too soon for me to be riding, but I like the idea of helping Will's team, and, it turns out that I really am competitive. Who knew? :-p

All in all, that day was one of the best days ever. I've done some pretty neat things (fly-ins, camping etc) but this one takes the cake. I really enjoyed getting to see Will do what he does, as well as learning how to push myself and seeing what I physically can do. Cycling is the coolest thing ever!

At the end of the day I went away with only one feeling: gratefulness. If it weren't for Will, I wouldn't have the chance to try so many of the new things that I have been doing. We have travelled together, flown together, and he has taken me to do things that I have never done before. I am just really thankful that he was so patient with me when I decided to get a bike and now that he'll let me tag along during his "guy" time. I am a very lucky girl. Plus, he is the hottest one on the team :-)

Me and Will


I definitely feel motivated now and I want to contimue to improve. And, I'm also glad that I dropped all those classes because now I can definitely work out regularly and try other races. And I'm excited to find something that catches my interest like this does. :-)

The world (apparently) revolves around me

Will says if you're the only sane one surrounded by a bunch of crazy people, then you'll seem crazy. Well, I don't care which I am, I just know that I won't compromise my values for anyone.

Anyway, I was thinking, and since the only person to complain about my blog (I asked around, no one else was bothered by it) also said that they don't care about my opinion or the opinion of anyone else, then I can write about whatever I want and them not be bothered (contradictory, don't you think? Especially since they were the ones "offended" by what I wrote... If you don't care, how are you offended?)

Anyway, so back to writing about what I want to write about. My birthday plans are underway and we're going where I want to go. This same person called me self-centered because I didn't want to change my mind about where I go out for my birthday. This person felt that my birthday "compromised their safety" since they were under the impression that there had been a shooting at Underground. When I researched the info, I discovered that they were talking about a shooting that happened in Buckhead. Coincidentally, this development at Underground is the city's reaction to a this shooting and the need for a safe place to go out at night. Instead of admitting about being wrong, they continued with the story of safety, saying how a friend had been mugged there and they had been offered drugs there. I find that also interesting, since that can basically happen anywhere anytime and I don't seem them holed up in their room afraid to leave (When I was in high school two kids my brothers age were car jacked from outside the Vet's office on a sunny Saturday afternoon. One was murdered, one got away. Goes to show "weird things can happen anywhere, anytime.")

Anyway, back to the point. Will says their opinion is invalid since they don't live in reality. Linda said:
Linda1716 (10:05:14 AM): But she really has some nerve telling you that you're self-centered-----after all she's the one that thinks she's entitled to tell you where you ought to go for your own birthday!!!

Linda makes a good point. In all of my life, I have never been called self centered. I think Will was really irritated. He said something to the effect of "I don't see her planning birthdays for people she doesn't even really know just because she believes that everyone is entitled to their one day a year"

But really, I just wanted to know. Does going where I want with who I want on my birhtday make me self centered? If it does, I think I'm ok with that. I certainly have given a lot to my family, the kids I babysit for, Linda, Will, the flying club, my design group, and many other people over the years to earn one day of self-centeredness.

Born Yesterday

I actually have been meaning to post this for a bit but it actually came up again.

It seems like I put off this "Born Yesterday" vibe. You know, the I can be taken advantage of because I am an idiot or am really slow.

This has manifested itself in some things being told to me. They are all really far fetched and I find myself incredulous that people expect me to believe this stuff. First of all, that's not a cool thing to do. I think people should be honest (no matter the consequences) and I certainly try to apply this to myself. I am certainly one who thinks that a half-truth is also a lie. But second of all, if you're going to do it, don't you want to make it believable? The ones I have been told have been so transparent that honestly they insult my intelligence :-p

A lot of times it's difficult to just say you're sorry and even harder to say you're right to someone else. Why is it that we have such a hard time admitting that we're wrong? It is so much easier to just push it away then be hard on ourselves though, isn't it?

And hey, if that's my soapbox... well, then it is.

First Amendment

Thanks to Rebecca for bringing up how my blog "sounds." She says some people may feel offended or talked down about or something. I guess my first thing is that I haven't wanted to mention names, but oftentimes the totally wrong people think its them. I have no idea why that is, but I suppose I'll quit doing that. There are some people whose opinions I don't care about, but if the ones that I do care about are being offended I will stop.

I did read over my blog, but everything sounds fine to me. Then again, it's my own voice. Perhaps people aren't used to hearing my opinion, but that's alright. It is my blog after all, so it will contain my opinion.

I did notice a couple of things. Well, I do have this theory. If you know me well, you would have heard it from me before. In my culture, drinking is different. It is not a way to shrug your cares or responsibilities. Therefore I think the way I was raised. It has been brought to my attention that people think I keep calling them drunkards. I don't know where this has come from. All I have ever said is that doing that sort of thing is not for me. I just think people should be responsible when they do it. I'll even drive you home when you do.

The other thing is what Will said. I figure maybe I shouldn't be putting his opinion here. But, then again, most people already know what he thinks about them. So oh well...

The third is my birthday. I reserve the right to do whatever I want that night. Sorry if you don't like it.

As for other things that could be possibly misinterpreted, misread, etc. These are just things that have been on my mind recently. Maybe they come out wrong, but they are my thoughts at that time. I don't mean to sound like I am better than anyone or anything like that. I am just learning what works for me as far as living how I want to live goes. This in no way means it's right for anyone else. I wonder why people always jump to that conclusion.

So I don't really feel like I should have to change what I say, because it is mine, but at the same time I don't want to be insulting people who are important to me. Interesting balance to strike. That is, once again, a line I have a very hard time with. I also feel like since I am not purposefully meaning to insult people (and if you know me well, you know that I try not to do this.)

I guess the lesson learned is that inflection helps. And that nothing is sacred. :-p

Not so bad

Best Weekend Ever

This weekend was really fun! Friday night John came down to do some stuff exchanging. I went out to dinner with him and Will. We stayed there for a long time just hanging out, which was fun. We also talked about sailing details :-) After that we went to a party at one of Will's Cycling friend's apartment. Just so happens that Lucas is friends with JT's roomie (Kelly) so we took Lucas also. It had a very different vibe from all of the parties I have been to recently... in a really good way. Everyone was just talking and hanging out and they (being large dorks) even watched a cycling movie. I had a nice time. And I don't think I've ever been in a room with that many male shaved legs... or that many nice ones :-)

Saturday morning I got up early and Will took me to try the Vinings loop. I was really intimidated because he labeled it "the hardest ride you've ever been on." But actually it went well. We did a shorter loop because of time and since I had no idea what my ability was. I was pretty excited because even though I was slow going up the hills, they didn't feel too bad and I think I could've pushed a lot harder. It's really cool to feel my improvements so quickly and definitely. Will is going to take me to try the longer route soon (hopefully). But, it was one of the most fun rides I've ever been on and I decided that I really like going fast downhill! :-)

After that we came back, showered, and Jason and Apryl picked us up to go hiking at Tallulah Gorge. I love that place. It's gorgeous. It was a beautiful day. Last time Will and I were there we hiked to the top, but this time we hiked to the bottom. It's not as long, but 2400 steps still hurt, particularly after a 17 mile bike ride! We had a good time though. I really like them. They're both really nice and respectful and that's very refreshing. They're also really cute together.

Some pics from the adventure...

Jason and Apryl



Will and Me :-)



Yeah...



Awww....



WT...?



Oh now I get it...



Ew!



I was so tired when we got back. We just took a nap and watched tv for the rest of the evening, which was really fun and reminded me of when I used to visit Will in greenville (and we still don't agree on what to watch :-p) Today I got up early to go to Maddy's birthday party, then ran some errands and came back for spinning class. My legs weren't sore today, but they sure will be tomorrow!

To Prove My Theory

I believe I mentioned the other day the tendency for people here to not want to take responsibility for their actions. No one wants to be wrong, of course, but a large part of character is being able to own up to the times when you mess up.

I think particularly people our age and younger are not taught to consider the consequences of their actions. I believe that the growing numbers of lawsuits helps prove the point - people just don't want to own up to what they've done (and, they are sleazy enough to want to make money off of it)

Take a look at this: http://www.ksat.com/news/4246904/detail.html

Who's fault is it? Ford, or the idiots who decided to drink and drive? Or, do they get an excuse for their actions because they were drunk and didn't know any better?

The way I was raised, if you can't "know any better" when you're drunk you're way too immature to have a drink.

The end.

Why Birthdays are not my favorite....

Already there has been a ton of drama surrounding my birthday plans. John suggested a place last night that I've been wanting to go to for some time. But, more than that, I just wanted to go where I can hang out with the 20-25 people I want to invite. Some people would prefer to go other places.

My question is this: Why can't I just do what I want to do and have who I want there and it not cause such problems?

First there is the whole if I invite one person I have to invite another that's connected to them which means some other people won't like it etc etc. You know what? It's my one day of the year to be selfish (note: in the past year I have planned 5 bdays for people, and here I am planning my own) so I'd like to have everyone that I want there. Of course, there are exceptions. Last year Will got in at about 1am from a race. This year Alex has a meet.

The other thing is people trying to push me into what they want to do. Seriously, I let everyone push me around the entire rest of the year! Can't one day be saved for what I want to do? I understand that you prefer to do other things, but I am not going to spend my birthday like I did the past few years, with people that I don't like at a place that I didn't want to go to anyway. So, if you can't put off what you want to do for one day to come and celebrate with me, then I'm not exactly sure why I would invite you anyway.

So, my memory has been refreshed. Maybe I'll opt for a smaller group or just a "boring" evening with Will.

March Birthdays...

Why is it that so many people are born in March? I have always known a ton of people with March birthdays and many people who share my birthday also!

Anyway, I just realized that it's next weekend! That means I get to do birthday things (maybe :-p) They past few years were pretty sad... due to a combination of it being near/during spring break and some not thoughtful people to spend it with.

Anyways, I'd like to make this one super fun, so if you have a good suggestion of what to do please let me know!

March Madness

Getting ready for the midterm briefing was crazy... but everything went so smoothly! I am so proud of my team, they all presented really well and we had it really together. We also earned several "very nice presentation"s at the end, which was really cool.

Now I'm super excited because I can focus on catching up and anticipating the craziness that is to come... our design needs to be frozen in 2 weeks! Yikes!


I have been noticing some people lately and I wonder how to best handle them. To the outside world, they are clearly headed for a train wreck. But, they see none of the red flags in their behavior. So, do you stick around and try to catch their attention... or do you just give up because you realize that they are completely uninterested in learning from you? They have such apparent issues and handle them in such negative/unhealthy ways, but you can't seem to get them to see it. Quite the predicament... I guess the whole "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" applies here. Boy does that saying fit a lot of things. I know many people who try to force the horse and it gets them nowhere.

Anyway... what to do for spring break. Some friends of mine (Steve, Pokie, etc) invited us to go skiing in Vermont. Sounds totally awesome but very expensive, so that's unfortunately not an option. The second is to go hang with Alex and Brian in Daytona. The third is to go spend some time sailing with John... but we would leave from Daytona, so these two could be combined. The fourth would be going on what Will calls "Adventures" everyday, which would be really cool too. So many awesome options, we'll have to see.

John cracked me up on the phone today, he says "Wait, Daytona is a big Spring Break place, right? Like that one.. Pam or Palm City or something..." He meant Panama City. That's hilarious to me. Some concerns about 17 year old puke on his boat were mentioned. Sorry that you'll have to dodge that on your runs, Rebecca ;-) I'm sure you'll be fine! And, if we're sailing in the area, you could come with!

I'm very excited cause this weekend we are going hiking with Jason and Apryl. I think we'll all have a lot of fun. And I got the cutest phone call from Jason, asking what he and Apryl needed to get. Perhaps we'll even camp one weekend.

I am LOVING spinning. And missing going out on my bike. But now it's fixed and hopefully I'll get to see what I can do later this week. And Jen Schur cracks me up when we're stretching in class! Rebecca - you gotta try one!

To drop or not to drop...

...that is the question. First, I was very torn between whether to drop Avionics or Aeroelasticity. Avionics turned out to be a pain in the butt for an elective (thank you Dr. Johnson), but on the other hand, I have had zero time to spend on Aeroelasticity, so although it doesn't seem to be too hard, I am still getting poor grades (lack of time bad grades.) After much debating I decided to just suck it up and stick with aeroelasticity...

...until tonight. Tuesday is our senior design Midterm Briefing. My plan was to have the aero homework done by now, but I've been very sick since last Thursday, so I was basically useless. Now not only do I not have the homework done, but I am also behind on my senior design stuff.

I hesitate to drop Aeroelasticity for two reasons. The first is that I will only have 9 hours this semester (... is that a bad thing?) and the second is that I *might* end up not graduating until the Spring of 2006. I have talked a lot to my parents about this, and brought up both the "I'm so old" and "I have no money" arguments against it. My Mom asked me what the big hurry was and reminded me that in the grand scheme of things, it's not that much money. I love that I have super supportive parents that come from a different culture where people aren't always trying to hurry through life and don't worry so much about things.

I would really, really hate for my other grades to suffer because of this one (and in my opinion, stupid and utterly useless) class.

Anyway, so basically I have pretty much decided to drop another class... but I guess I am still having doubts. Opinions, anyone?

Time Flies

Was it a weird week or what? Hey Katy, there was a full moon!

I've been meaning to post, but this week flew by just like all the others. It was a lab reports week, which means I had reports due in both Controls and Structures. Both Monday and Tuesday I left my room in the morning only to return at around 11 or 12.

I went to Krispy Kreme for the first time! It was yummy :-)

I think my body has been trying to get sick for some time and on Wednesday night/Thursday morning it succeeded. Since then I have not been feeling my best, hopefully it will go away before the end of the weekend (busy week this week... as usual) I haven't been able to go workout because of being sick, which makes me sad because I missed the good spinning class for the 3rd time in a row!!! Oh well... Will had also agreed to take me on a ride that he does frequently (I'm excited to see what I can do) but that was supposed to be this morning and I'm not well enough yet. I am definitely plannning on spinning tomorrow afternoon, though.

Next weekend we're planning a hiking trip with Jason and Apryl. I got to talk to her some at the Lair party and she's really cool! Speaking to her was refreshing, I feel like she is more like me than everyone else we know. We definitely have several things in common, including how much we like kids.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the whole Karma thing. I have been seeing lately that you definitely get back what you put out in the world. That makes me want to be very careful and only put out "positive" energy. That doesn't mean that bad things don't happen to good people, though. Maybe it is more of a "you reap what you sow" sort of deal. I just want to make sure I'm planting and investing in the right places.

I finally broke down and decided to get the tablet pc. Already it has been super useful. I was in the student center commons on friday trying to configure it and I ran into Little Adam (pokie) for the first time in a long time. It was good to see him, reminded me of several years ago. He invited me and Will to go skiing in Vermont for spring break, which would be awesome but sounds super expensive. I think I prefer the beach anyway (and Will agrees.)

Even though I was sick Will and I went out on a date last night. I think it had been a while since we'd been out alone, since we've been double dating and doing parties a lot recently. It was a lot of fun, it reminded me of what a good thing we have. We went out to dinner and saw Hitch, which was really good! We had a great time together... which is usually the case :-)

I definitely take him for granted a lot. He is so, so, so patient with me. This week when I was sick he was always there to take care of me. He brought me medicine and made sure I ate and tucked me in. I know no one else that takes such good care of me! I am a lucky, lucky girl. I often wonder how I was fortunate enough to end up with someone like him. Particularly since he doesn't mind that I am so 'old' (in fact, he prefers it) Maybe it's that whole karma thing coming around? If so, I must've done something really good! :-p

Several big decisions have come up recently. Or, maybe not so big. Anyway, decisions are always difficult for someone like me. The first was to decide which class to drop. I finally settled on Avionics, but I may end up dropping aeroelasticity as well (since life hasn't slowed down any, despite my having 1 less class). The next is regarding the Ovarian Cycle... the "century" ride is the same day as the Brasstown Bald stage of the Tour de Georgia. I asked Will awhile ago to take me to see it. I'm really disappointed that I have to choose between them. On one hand, it is something that I will (have been) training a long time for. On the other hand, how many times do you get to see Lance Armstrong race? Plus, would I rather ride indoor for 6 hours or up a mountain? Ugh... The third decision I can't write about, but I think I have settled on something that is healthy.

I can't believe it's March already!

The Learning Kind

I am not sure about everyone else, but I believe that college is not only a place to get a degree. I have a different idea of what the "college experience" should be (surprise, surprise.) I don't think that we should only learn from books. We should learn from each other, learn from situations and use these experiences to push the boundaries of ourselves in order to build character and self-esteem.

My question to you is: have you pushed yourself? Are you a better and stronger person than you were yesterday? Have you grown? Do those around you challenge you? If not, why not?

This this "senior" year I have learned more about myself than perhaps any other year before. I am so grateful to those around me because they continue to teach me invaluable lessons day by day. I think these lessons have helped build my character. I am "ok" with where I am today. I think it's very important to have strong self-esteem before heading out to the "real world" because as tough as things are now, they'll only get tougher. It's important that it's built on who you are and not what you do, because the day will come when we all fail at something. The question is: how will you handle it?

One of the things that I have been very challenged by this year is my "co-dependency." The definition is slightly misleading. Think of it as a "pleasing personality" - I like to make others happy, but often get walked all over during the process. I am a doormat, but this year I have been working on setting boundaries and respecting myself more. I believe that I have come a long way, although I know several people who would prefer it if I stayed the way I was. One example is the flying club. Boy, wouldn't they love it if I kept taking care of everything for everyone. But, I realize that this isn't helpful. I just feel over-run and the club doesn't really get a benefit, because I won't be around forever.

As a person with a pleasing personality, it is very difficult for me to have appropriate friendships. I have been reading a very helpful book (yep, I read self help books :-p) and it helps outline some qualities of a good friendship. According to this author, they are:

1. Confidentiality - what we say cannot be misconstrued or used against us
2. Purpose
3. Listening - it is important to be listened to
4. Without Judgement - being able to share fears without being criticized
5. A safe environment - a place to explore issues
6. Giving advice sparingly - offering advice is generally detrimental
7. Shared experience
8. Humor
9. Encouragement, not caretaking - ability to empathize but not become enmeshed
10. Challenging - they cannot tell us what to do or judge our actions but must find ways to measure challenges for us

I think these are great guidelines. How many people get this type of friendship from you? How many give you this type of friendship? I can think of maybe one person that I get it from, and maybe partly give to one also. Wouldn't it be great if all of our friendships were based on this? They would open up a whole new world.

I'm interested, are you?

Memories...

I heard that some people called my relationship with Will "miserable" and asserted that we must have no social life.

I have a couple of issues with that. First of all, I don't judge other's relationships. Also, I have always known that I enjoy different things for fun, and never have put down what other people do. I've just said that it's not for me. Saying
things of that nature reminds me of high school... and I expected us all to act like "adults" and handle things better!

So, back to the point. I was reminiscing with Will last night, we were trying to decide what makes us miserable and boring. Our first official date was flying an airplane to Athens, GA and throughout the past year and a half we have...

- climbed 4 moutains
- seen 1 gorge
- been to two different beaches
- 4 different airplane museums
- 1 airshow
- travelled to 4 different cities
- I learned to fly a stunt kite and will's airplane
- been to the symphony
- been to the fox theatre
- have eaten a ton of meat at a churrascaria
- 2 new years eves together
- bike ride dates to piedmont park in the morning :-)
- been to the north georgia mountains
- 1 backpacking/camping trip (my first!)

...and countless other good memories. Now, I realize that not everyone may enjoy these things, but I've gotten to try countless new things with him and broaden my horizons. I know some people may feel like college is the time to live it up because they'll never get the chance again, and this is true. They won't have a chance. But, I'm going to have even more fun when there's not schoolwork to hold me back!

Never Been Kissed

I was thinking about a line from the movie, where Molly Shannon is in the sex-ed class and is saying how her mother used to tell her

"No one will want to buy the whole ice cream truck if you're handing out popsicles for free."

This subject is one that is always on my mind. Throughout high school and college I've been called a "prude" a lot. This used to bother me. (Although, I just looked up the word - to check the spelling no less - and I think it's a little extreme to me but who knows what other people think.) Anyway, the moral is that it doesn't bother me anymore.
I suppose I always felt like it's a bad thing and that I should fit in more. Lately (over the past year or so) however I'm becoming more comfortable and even proud of my differences (I don't think I'm that different, I just don't know where all the others like me are!) I like how I was raised and I like convictions and my standards. I think it gives me the one-up on the whole self-esteem race.

Anyway, what is also important, is that it makes proud that I never have things to tell to Will that would disappoint him. And that each thing that we share is that much more valuable. Isn't that cool? It's the easiest way to invest ever!

Anyway, that's my opinion.

Valentine's Day

This year was by far my favorite Valentine's Day (it wins over last year because Will was actually here for it!)

Mondays are really busy days for both of us (I'm in class til 6, he's in class 7-10) so when I was asked to watch Colin and Maddy I agreed. We decided to have some dessert when I got back. So, I receive a text message asking if I'd had dinner, which I hadn't because Mondays are so crazy! Anyway, I head back after babysitting to be surprised by this:

Table for two please!

An AE dork's dream date

It was perfect! A yummy dinner (notice the airplane napkins!) and one of the best chocolate desserts ever - ice cream!

I know a lot of people speculate - there were no flowers, no stuffed things (except for me - haha!), no expensive gifts, but I like that it had Will's "flavor" to it. He definitely does things differently, and hey, that's alright with me! Different is really good!

Using my legs for the greater good

There are so many things that I have wanted to post but I've had no time. I think I'm going to make time, because like Jen said, I don't want to lose my words.

My first catch-up post will be about the thing that I am most excited about at the moment. Saturday Biff forwarded me an email about something called the Ovarian Cycle. It is a 10 week indoor cycling program culminating in a Century ride (100 miles) to raise money for Ovarian Cancer. I signed up right away.

I am very, very excited. Cycling is something that I grow to like more day by day, and I'm thrilled to use it to help those with cancer or even to prevent cancer. I'm also really excited because Jen is doing it also, so I've been getting to spend more time with her(which is lots of fun!) Registering for the Ovarian Cycle means that I get to attend the CRC's Spinning Classes, so Jen and I have been waking each other up at the butt crack of dawn to go to them. Good times!

I was a little worried at first because to participate you have to raise at least $400 dollars. This instantly brought memories of my mission trip to Jamaica back. But, I learned huge lessons about that back then, so I decided to try it out (plus, I know a lot more people with real jobs now!) I am always really pleasantly surprised and touched by how generous people are. My Mom's boss, whom I've met only twice, donated $100. My old friend from church J.T. (more my brother's friend... I haven't seen him recently) donated $50 last night. My sister gave $50 (bless her poor little heart.) And the list goes on and on... to where I've raised $300 in either pledges or direct donations in less than a week.

Makes you believe a little more that people are truly good, doesn't it?

The weather outside is frightful...

This past Saturday we got some "bad" weather. We woke up to this Saturday morning...




Biff Ice Skating

Smelly and Biff - Pairs skating

Opposites Attract

They closed the campus, but I figure it is only because it's Saturday and there aren't any classes anyway. I wish this would happen during the week, but realistically they probably would still make us go to class. It was very challenging walking around. It took me, Biff, Smelly and Jen a long time to walk to CRC! But, I think I would enjoy living in a place with real winter.

Hi, my name is Livia, and I'm a codependent.

I slept through my alarm today. Actually, I don't even know if it went off. I went to bed with a massive headache last night. Maybe my head was hurting too much to turn my alarm on properly. Anyway, I thought Biff and I had a deal to call each other if we hadn't talked on im by like 7:15 (I could've sworn that we said something like that last week - but then again, I could've sworn that I turned on my alarm! :-p) Anyway, she called me at 7:50, and since there was no way I could get ready in time, here I am. It's the first time I've missed class in quite a while. Anyway, now I have a new deal with Will, so it's all good! :-)

I've been reading this book about codpendent personalities. Apparently I have one of these (but I am getting better.) Somewhere rolled up in this personality is the inability to say no to people. This is something that I'm really trying to work on, because it has gotten me into some pretty bad situations. Some were very bad emotionally, some were just not fun. For example: Since I can't say no, I told my friend John that I would go with him and Guillermo to Wilmington this summer. Now, I love to travel, but I'd much rather go somewhere (or stay here) with Will. Anyway, the trip approached and I felt really bad about backing out, so I went. It was an ok trip. But I ended up spending hundreds of dollars, lost my pocket pc, got chigger bites, and delayed by thunderstorms just because I couldn't say no.

So anyway, now I try to be a little more assertiveand people aren't really appreciative. Maybe everyone is so used to getting whatever they want from me. Anyway.

So I know it may make planning things a little more difficult, but I don't want to end up somewhere I don't like, spending lots of my money (cause I don't have a lot and I work really hard for what I do have) just because "I said I would go." So before I sign my name on the dotted line, I'm going to make sure that's it's something that I would enjoy. And I'm pretty sure dodging drunk people on a beach at 11am is not in my definition of fun.

It's not, you ask? Nope. I guess we're weird. Will and I have discussed this quite a bit. We just enjoy different things from people our age. Not to say that going out for drinks with friends isn't enjoyable. I think all my friends in high school were right. I'm just not a party girl. I would choose a place with bike paths, museums, things to sight see or hike or anything like that over a place with bars and clubs any day. But that's just me (and Will.)

So the moral of the story is I really do feel bad about being "difficult," but I'd rather do that now and save myself hundreds of dollars and a lot of resentment. And, Will and I are pretty well matched. :-)

The end!

This Semester.

Ok, I think I may have posted about this before, but here goes again. I know a lot of people have "easy" semesters this semester. That's fortunate for them, I'm very envious. I am not one of these people. I am taking six classes, two of which are labs. One is senior design and I am the program manager of my team. One is aeroelasticity, arguably the hardest AE class there is. I also am researching approximately 10 hours per week. And I am the secretary of the flying club (there goes Tuesday nights) until Spring Break. I am a tour guide. I like to workout 4-5 times a week. I babysit at least twice a week.

So, what does all fo this mean? Unfortunately, it means from now on that whenever there are people going out on school nights, I won't be going with them. It means that I will probably have to spend a good part of Saturday and Sunday doing work. It means that I'll miss out on some fun.

Those of you who know me know that I'm not one to advocate missing out on fun for school. But, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. I'm not saying that I will even remotely try to be an over-achiever this semester. If I ever feel like I am on top of things, that I most certainly will go out on those school nights, etc. But, I have a feeling that I will be struggling just to keep up.

Rebecca, looks like me and you will be study buddies this semester :-)

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus... but Livia is from Saturn

You Are From Saturn

You're steady, organized, and determined to achieve your dreams. You tend to play it conservative, going by the rules (at least the practical ones). You'll likely reach the top. And when you do, you'll be honorable and responsible. Focus on happiness. Don't let your goals distract you from fun! Don't be too set in your ways, and you'll be more of a success than you ever dreamed of.

What Planet Are You From?

3 out of 4 isn't bad, right?

Alex said this to me yesterday regarding the roomie we don't like. She has bothered me for a long (probably because I'm the one next to her and get to bear the brunt of her inconsideration,) but I think her attitude has started to bother Alex. We are fortunate that Jen, Alex and I get along pretty well. We hang out occasionally also (it really helps to have mutual friends.) Not only does Carol not get along with us, she's never tried. I guess she's not interested in making more friends. Which is fine, she may be blessed enough to have as many as she wants/needs. But, in my opinion, this does not mean that you can be rude to your roommates!!! I think she's in denial about having any roommates. If we are around, she will duck her head down and look the other way to avoid contact with us. I don't think this is any way to treat people that you live with. Granted, she may be a little ticked at the email I sent her over Christmas break, but nothing in it was particularly mean I think (she was bothering even the people across the hall with her music.)

Anyway, I've been thinking. Who raises their children to be so rude and inconsiderate?!?! That makes me nervous for the future of this society... maybe she just suffers from Techie syndrome. Not socially adept. I don't think we should have to put up with that, but I'm also not one for confrontations. Oh well... like Alex said, less than 1 semester left!

Ah! I'm getting old!

You Are 30 Years Old

30 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

And so it begins

Here we are, back for another semester. The first two days were good, but long. Mondays are especially long with avionics, senior design, controls lab lecture and 3 hours of spanish. But, the time in Spanish flies by because it enjoyable. It is hard to tell how busy/tiring my days will be since there are no labs this first week.

I decided to throw myself in for the vote to be Program Manager for my Senior Design group, and I got it. I know I can be very organized and on top of things, so I guess it was a matter of not trusting anyone else to do the job properly. Will wanted to be Chief Engineer, but Juan Leon won the vote. It was a very difficult decision for all of us, since we know they both will do an excellent job. Being Program Manager will really be a test of my patience, but also will be interesting due to my "pleasing" personality. We shall see how I apply what I have learned recently (from the book When Pleasing Others is Hurting You.)

I went to visit Will in Columbus for the first time since March last week. It was a lot of fun, but that story is for another entry.

I will close with something that I have been thinking about, which Biff also brought up. First, I don't think Biff was very bad to her friends when she was dating Joey. Sure, she didn't see others as much, but that happens as we meet different people in different social circles. I have, however, been dealing with people who are never seen without their "other half." I find this very irritating, because usually people are dishonest about it. It also prevents my relationship with them from growing.

For example: My best friend of many years (since we were 8 years old) starting dating someone. Even though I was not a fan of this someone, I never mentioned that I did not like spending time with him. Anyway, we were to go to a banquet for our high school orchestra teacher and arranged to drive there together. I got a call from her (she was already late to pick me up) that said she would just meet me there. Since I found out that she was nearby, I convinced her to stop by anyway (thinking this would be a great time for us to catch up.) Imagine my surprise when I find this guy with her (which is interesting, since he didn't attend our high school.) Anyway, that basically was the end of us spending time together, which is sad because we had been friends for so long.

So, anyway, I hope that I don't do that to my friends. I know that when I was younger I would, but now I realize that part of a healthy, happy relationship is being able to still be an independent person. My wish is never to be perceived as one half to go with my "other half." So, if I start to do this, please warn me!

Back to school blues...

I am really dreading the start of the semester next week. Spring semesters are always bad for me for some reason. This one will be especially rough, with two labs, senior design, aeroelasticity, spanish, avionics, research, bike riding, gre stuff and grad school apps and trying to finish my pilot's license.

It has been so nice to sleep and watch tv the past few weeks. I have come to realize that Tech really takes it out of you. I have been in a much better mood these past few weeks. Spending time with Will outside of school has been awesome as well. I've discovered that I'm in a healthy, happy relationship! School makes it so easy to forget that. Between all the stress of classes and our hectic schedules, it is really hard to get some quality time together. I almost prefer the semester where he was in Greenville. Although I only saw him on the weekends, we had that time set aside and didn't really have to be anywhere at any time unless we wanted to. It was so nice then, and this break also, to just be able to sit around and enjoy each other's company. I feel like we got a great chance to remember our chemistry and how much fun we have together.

Just in time, too, because this semester will be rough on our relationship. Soon he will be racing and will be gone on the weekends. It will be tough to get time together during the week. I, however, am going to try my best to remember how much fun we have together and just go with it. I think I did ok last year, but I want to be even better about not pressuring him regarding how much time he has to spend with me (although it is very important to the health of a relationship.) It is only 3 months and I know it will fly by. I will try not to wish the time away, though, because I know that at some point in my life I will want that time back. So,

Ready or not, here it comes.

Goals for 2005

I'm not going to make resolutions, because everyone knows how difficult those are to keep. Instead, I will set goals for myself. They are, in no particular order

• finally finish my pilot's license
• get an internship
• ride my bike a lot (get in shape)
• read my bible/pray more often
• be better about getting work done early
• stretch at least once a day

Those are it for now, although I know I will add more as the year goes on...