Hi, my name is Livia, and I'm a codependent.

I slept through my alarm today. Actually, I don't even know if it went off. I went to bed with a massive headache last night. Maybe my head was hurting too much to turn my alarm on properly. Anyway, I thought Biff and I had a deal to call each other if we hadn't talked on im by like 7:15 (I could've sworn that we said something like that last week - but then again, I could've sworn that I turned on my alarm! :-p) Anyway, she called me at 7:50, and since there was no way I could get ready in time, here I am. It's the first time I've missed class in quite a while. Anyway, now I have a new deal with Will, so it's all good! :-)

I've been reading this book about codpendent personalities. Apparently I have one of these (but I am getting better.) Somewhere rolled up in this personality is the inability to say no to people. This is something that I'm really trying to work on, because it has gotten me into some pretty bad situations. Some were very bad emotionally, some were just not fun. For example: Since I can't say no, I told my friend John that I would go with him and Guillermo to Wilmington this summer. Now, I love to travel, but I'd much rather go somewhere (or stay here) with Will. Anyway, the trip approached and I felt really bad about backing out, so I went. It was an ok trip. But I ended up spending hundreds of dollars, lost my pocket pc, got chigger bites, and delayed by thunderstorms just because I couldn't say no.

So anyway, now I try to be a little more assertiveand people aren't really appreciative. Maybe everyone is so used to getting whatever they want from me. Anyway.

So I know it may make planning things a little more difficult, but I don't want to end up somewhere I don't like, spending lots of my money (cause I don't have a lot and I work really hard for what I do have) just because "I said I would go." So before I sign my name on the dotted line, I'm going to make sure that's it's something that I would enjoy. And I'm pretty sure dodging drunk people on a beach at 11am is not in my definition of fun.

It's not, you ask? Nope. I guess we're weird. Will and I have discussed this quite a bit. We just enjoy different things from people our age. Not to say that going out for drinks with friends isn't enjoyable. I think all my friends in high school were right. I'm just not a party girl. I would choose a place with bike paths, museums, things to sight see or hike or anything like that over a place with bars and clubs any day. But that's just me (and Will.)

So the moral of the story is I really do feel bad about being "difficult," but I'd rather do that now and save myself hundreds of dollars and a lot of resentment. And, Will and I are pretty well matched. :-)

The end!