2 Good Weekends and Some Craziness In Between

So... I've been really really busy. Last weekend we went to Six Flags on Friday, which was awesome. I went with Elise, John, Brian and of course Will (one of our very first dates/outings was to Six Flags so its tradition to go and this was the 3rd time!) We rode the Scorcher then ran into Katina and her husband Ari, which also seems to be a tradition. So our new bigger group then went on Deja Vu, did the wheelie, bumper cars, Superman and Batman twice. Good times! I always love catching up with Katina and I can't believe she's married now! But now she's my Monday lunch buddy!

Saturday consisted of a bike ride, going to the game and then to Wreck the Deck at Delta Chi. Good times... better described in pictures than in words. Oh, except for the asinine guys behind us at the game that kept yelling "you suck" every 2 seconds to the UNC band. Then when they got bored of that they turned to Spanish insults. Classy, right?

Sunday I of course spent the whole day at home, as usual.

This past week was pretty hectic through Wednesday (aero homework due, structures hw due, fluids lab report due... all on the same day). Tuesday I went and got my hair cut at the Aveda Institute, which went well except for that it took forever. I caught a bug or something so I was kinda sick Wednesday and Thursday. Then Wednesday during lab I received a text from Will saying to call my Mom and I was immediately worried. She had a mammogram done the week before and it turns out they found lumps in both of her breasts. One was a cyst filled with water, which they drained this past Friday, and the other is a tumor which they did a biopsy on and we will find out the results either tomorrow or Tuesday. Needless to say I'm really worried about her, but I guess I've always thought she'd end up with some type of cancer (liftime smoker). But, one step at a time and for now I'm just trying to focus on other stuff and not be so worried.

This past Friday Will and I finally made it to the Botanical Gardens, which we had been trying to do since May. It was reallly awesome, up until it started raining (figures). I took many great pictures (check out flickr). Then we went out to dinner and caught up with Alex and Melissa and their swim club people and headed to Ramblin Nights. Yesterday I was extremely unproductive all day then went to the game and today spent the day taking care of Kaya and Alden since I couldn't lift anything.

Since pictures can probably capture the fun better, here goes:

Me and Will at the UNC game


Brian and Alex at the UNC game


Yay for cool roomies!


Me and Will at Wreck the Deck


Melissa and Stephen at Wreck the Deck


We like to party :-)


Kaya and Alden going for a spin in the convertible


Botanical Gardens


A view of a really cool exhibit at the Gardens called "Locomotion in the Garden"


Flowers... and Will :-)


Alex, Brian and Will about to go off the 5 meter board (they are braver than I am)


There he goes!


Will, Me, Kristy at the game


Yay for a new picture with Buzz!


Alden in his fort


Kaya loves my Mom... and "tickers"


Kaya talking to "Lulu"


And now for another crazy week...

What goes around comes around

It's called Karma. It's a bitch, isn't it?

Ha.

Colors

Can you feel it crush you
Does it seem to bring the worst in you out
There's no running away from
These things that hold you down

Do they complicate you
Because they make you feel like this
Of all the colors that you shine
This is surely not your best

But you should know these
Colors that your shinin'

Are surely not the best
Colors that you shine

Surely not the best
Colors that you shine

I know you feel alone, yea
No one else can figure you out
But don't you ever turn away from
The ones that help you down

They love to save you
Don't you know they would love to see you smile
But these colors that you shine
Are surely not your style

But you should know these
Colors that your shinin'
Are surely not your best.
~Crossfade, Colors

Cowardly Behavior

Melissa has been the unlucky recipient of some hateful anonymous blog comments. This has happened to me before, also. Another similar situation is people making hateful comments behind my back, which I experienced not only last spring but also last week.

I became extremely irritated when I read what was written on her blog. It appears that the individual who wrote those comments did not bother to read what she had written, or more likely is too ignorant to understand words like hegemony. But, on top of that, this person didn't have the balls to sign their name with their comment. Now, I know some people who say pretty infuriating things a lot of the time, but at least they have the courage to stand up for what they say.

But, as I continued to think about the situation, as well as the ones prior to this one, I began to pity these people. A person who feels the need to leave hateful anonymous messages to someone in order to make themselves feel better is not a good person. I mean really, how sad is that? In fact, I think they make a pretty pathetic excuse of a person. If you're going to be that childish, at least own up to it.

Last spring I had a girl lie outright to my face about comments she had been making. I also had someone make a not nice comment on my own blog and not live up to it. Come on, people, grow some balls!

If we can't take credit for what we're saying, then perhaps we should not be saying those things at all.

I admire Melissa (and others) for always attaching their name to their statements, no matter what fallout may come after.

Sex and the City

I have started watching Sex and the City, sometimes the roomies do, too. We started talking about who was most like which character (I'm sure there is some quiz online that I could take). Kristy is obviously most like Charlotte, and Alex like Carrie. Then we got to me, and Will automatically said Miranda. That surprised me a little bit, since I am a romatic and very traditional.

However, the other day as I was walking back from class lost in my thoughts, I realized that I do think like Miranda (in a lot of ways). I believe in hard work, I believe that you should earn everything, I believe in being independent. I don't believe in entitlement. All that "No child left behind stuff?" I say leave them. Otherwise you will teach them that they can get by without a lot of work. I believe that there should be weed out courses and those who are "weeded out" should pursue something else. Life is not about being the smartest, it's about being the hardest worker, the most motivated and committed. It's about being resilient.

I somehow learned along the way that there should be hard work involved in everything. That being successful takes a lot of time and determination (somehow my siblings didn't get this message :-p) I've met many people who believe that they are entitled or use excuses to get ahead in the world and not work hard. I think it is people like this who will lead America to no longer be the world leader in many things.

It's not entirely their fault, of course. Many of us are raised by parents who grew up without anything or didn't spend much time with their kids and want to give them everything. I believe it's a form of enabling.

I have the perfect example to illustrate my opinion. I have a co-worked (I knew her from before, that is the next example). She is also AE. A day this summer illustrated exactly what I mean. Since May we had been told that we were expected to keep a certain weekend open as we would need to work (thanks, NASA). She booked a trip for that weekend. She returned the Monday after our work filled weekend and immediately started complaining about having to stay late that night because she had a lot of homework. Then, later on in the summer, she was upset because I got more recognition than her. She and I worked on a project in the spring also were something similar happened. A deadline was coming up and she kept bailing on the workload because of schoolwork.

A few of my points: I understand the schoolwork thing also, as I also take the same classes. I try to get a lot of work done so that my work time can be devoted to just that: working. I think if you book a trip the weekend before you have a ton of work to do, you need to get the work out of the way. Or, not complain when it's not done. And I think if you're not committed, then you shouldn't be surprised when you don't get responsibility, leadership, and recognition. She expects to have seniority over me because she has been with the lab longer, but she doesn't realize that seniority doesn't come from the time you spend there but rather what you do with it.

Strangely enough, I also got a negative impresison of her when we first me. It was the Summer semester of 2003. She was in the class that Will and I met in, Dynamics. 29 of us were in that class, 23 failed. I knew the situation wasn't right, and that not all 23 of us could be dumb slackers (like Loewy wanted us to think) so I organized meetings and petitioned to have our grades changed. She told me that she was absolutely uninterested in working to have her grade changed. However, when the news went out that the petition had been approved, she was the first to sign up.

Unfortunately life can be unfair sometimes and the not hard workers can still get by, or your hard work will go unnoticed. Either way, I think it's important to take initiative and be a motivated person.

I guess I am just bothered recently by those who want everything but don't want to work for it and get upset when they don't get it. Or, those who complain about their situation but have put themselves there and do nothing about it.

Speaking of busy weekends and too much work, this weekend should be awesome. Six Flags, cycling, tailgating, football, partying, little cousins and perhaps a little homework in between. I hope it's worth it when I'm stressed next Tuesday night...

... I know it will be ;-)

If you can watch Oprah and not cry...

...then you must have a heart of stone. I just happened to be here this afternon while Oprah was on and she is in Texas covering the aftermath of hurricane katrina. Although I had been affected by the coverage on the news and by talking to friends affected, nothing affected me like Oprah's coverage did. She of course went beyond what CNN (if I have to watch TV news it definitely will not be Fox) covered and spoke to people. The stories just broke my heart. There are those still sleeping on streets who have had food for days and haven't seen their families for a week. There are those who passed away on the side of the street.

This is America. This shouldn't happen to citizens of this country. There are those who say that these people should have heeded the evacuation warning, but what about the people who had no choice? What is you were too poor to own a car, be able to get a hotel room or a train/plane/bus ticket?

What strikes me is how short sighted we as people can be. We don't take the time to understand and appreciate the situations of others. Not only that, but we take what we have for granted. Sure there are hard days, hard tests; people walk into and out of your life, etc. We should take the time to appreciate what we have and give to those who are less fortunate than ourselves.

I am extremely proud of the Georgia Tech family for opening its doors and hearts to those affected. As some of the most priveledged people on the planet, it is our duty to be selfless and give of ourselves. This is what will keep the world a happy, good place and I have seen my peers more than step up to the plate and it warms my heart.

3 Girls, 1 Boat, No Underwear and Some Garden Domes

Well, there were 2 boys, also. Sunday Kristy, Alex, Will and I met John up at Lake Allatoona to do some sailing on his boat "High Flight." We spent most of the beautiful day just sailing (sometimes motoring) around, following a guy around the lake who turned out to not be hot, and telling Alex to put on some sunscreen. We took lunch and ate out on the boat. We had a great time, especially when re-enacting the Titanic and being "Garden Domes" (another funny Alex/Kristy quote) on the front of the boat. The only thing that could have made it better would have been for Melissa and Stephen to be there! The best way to describe the day is through pictures so here goes.

Kristy and Alex


I don't have a silly face like Alex


Yay for Roomies! (we need to photoshop Melissa in)


One of the great Alex faces


Will helping to raise the sails


John displaying skills


Glamourous Kristy


A couple of Garden Domes... I mean Knomes... I mean hood ornaments


So we may have used the motor for this...


Meet George, the autopilot.


George is oh so sexy.


Titanic.


:-)

Eat, Drink and Be Merry

Kristy mentioned earlier this week that she wanted to drink this weekend, so I arranged to have a Pre-Citizenship Party Party. It was totally awesome.

Stephen, John, Kristy, Alex and I went to the liquor store then picked up pizza for dinner and met Melissa and Will back here where we proceeded to eat, drink and be merry. It was about 730pm and we continued into the wee hours of the morning. Brian Huff came over and Justin stopped by for a little bit also. Melissa and Alex's friend David came over and Lucas also dropped by with some of his friends. It was good times. Even though John was in the bathroom sick for like forever.

I was just really happy to have a ton of people to hang out and have fun with. It was a great pre-party party thing. Look for awesome pictures soon...

The Future of the United States

I have had a lot of thoughts on my mind, so expect a lot of posts.

I started thinking yesterday about the youth of America and Kristy and I had a great conversation about it. We both babysit and have seen "the future" first hand. We watch kids who receive whatever they want whenever they want because their workaholic parents feel guilty for leaving them at daycare 10 hours a day.

Wait, this is a very scary picture. I think we can see the beginnings of this generation even in people our age, which is scary, because then how much worse does it get when they have children?

I know people who will take responsibility for none of their actions and blame others instead. I know those who are out of touch with reality. For example, one kid (a Techie), was complaining to me about Georgia Tech the other day. I guess hindsight is 20/20, because all in all I think I've enjoyed my experience here, and it was by no means easy or fun at times. I told him he needed perspective. For example, every citizen of the city of New Orleans has lost something, whether it is possesions or family members. There are those scattered throughout Alabama and Mississippi in the same circumstances. This kid lived his whole life in an affluent neighborhood in the richest country in the world and has the chance to do whatever he wants in life. I told him he could've been someone else born somewhere else, and I used women in Darfur as an example.

This out of touch with reality kid had the nerve to say "at least they don't have to go to college."
How shocking is that (I figure maybe he has no idea where Darfur is or that it's even a place, which is an issue I'll get to momentarily).

This same kid also said it was perfectly acceptable for the U.S. to mistreat prisoners "because they are terrorists and they deserve it and so if they have to give a blow job it's not nearly as bad as what they do to us."

What sort of upbringing leads those our age to have such un-informed opinions? Oh wait, I know... they're more interested in reality shows than reading. The news they do watch is full of coverage of the Michael Jackson trial or Britney Spear's pregnancy.

But more than that I feel there is a feeling of entitlement. Does someone who lives affluently in a country like this one inevitably become this way? Or is there a way to remain humble and appreciative of everything around you, to know that you have to work hard in life and that it will be a bumpy ride, and that the world does not center around them or the United States?

Don't get me wrong. These several people are, in my opinion, the exception here at Tech. I think most people we know understand that there is hard work involved in success. It's not longer about the brains, we know we're smart, you had to be to get here in the first place. Now it's about work and motivation, and I think the majority of our peers exhibit these qualities.

However, what if this out of touch population continues to grow?

The Mask

I have been in a situation several times. How long does it truly take to get to know a person?

It would probably take more than just the fingers on one hand to count the number of times that I have been truly impressed with a person and really enjoyed them and then they turn out to be someone completely different. I guess it takes a while for everyone to show their true colors, right? But, I feel like in particular these people have truly hidden who they are, whereas with others you just see deeper parts of their personalities as time goes on. In particular, with a very good friend, after quite some time it turned out they only wanted to take advantage of me. And were dense enough to continue to attempt that after knowing how I disliked them. And, more recently, thinking that someone is more mature or in a place where they are not. And then turning to name calling in a discussion... well, let me just say I'm not longer surprised at their situation.

People are just so surprising and interesting though. They often catch me off guard. Like when you are nothing but nice to someone, contribute a little something, offer something and they still resort to childish behavior. I must have really hit home, because I don't see temper tantrums like that except in the kids that I babysit for (all between the ages of 2 and 5). But, even more so than that, is the resistance to some honesty and a little challenge. I guess some have been so coddled and so used to getting what they want and having their hand held that a challenge doesn't go over well. I guess they will always live in their land of delusion, which sadly is an unhappy place.

BUT, most importantly, is that I have learned so much from all these people, and this is what life is all about, right? Perhaps the biggest lesson I learned today. Will had always tried to make the point about how name-calling and insults do not strengthen your argument, but just make you appear more and more childish. And make you seem non-educated.

The end.

Livia the American

Around the time that I was 5 years old my parents packed up the whole family and moved us from a little town in Brazil to West Palm Beach, Florida. They did this because the country was in a bad state of disrepair and they wanted us to have opportunties. I benefited from this move. I went to good schools, I performed well, I'm at a great college. But it hurt us, also. I don't know what it's like to spend summers at my Grandmother's house and I don't have any family that comes over for Christmas. Now things are different, of course, because my Grandmother comes to visit once a year and we have many friends to fill the house at Christmas.

Although I don't have a great grasp of Portuguese, I always denied being American, particularly at times when there was a huge anti-American sentiment around the world and when people complain about the president (hey, I don't have anything to do with it, I can't vote!)

My family applied for citizenship when the right time came (the process is long). My dad was naturalized in 1997, INS (now USCIS) lost the other 4 applications. So, we restarted the process and I received my green card when I was 17.

Today I became a naturalized citizen. I walked up to the table, signed an oath stating that I will not swear my allegiance to any other country and that I will serve and bear arms if necessary (yeah, right :-p) and I felt somewhat sad. I don't want to be able to be drafted, I thought; I don't want to not place Brazil first in my heart.

I always thought that I would let citizenship happen when I got married (presumably to an American) but then I chose the Aerospace business where there is no work for non-citizens. So, it had to be done.

But last night as I lay awake listening to the wind howl, I finally had some peace about this happening. Recently I have gotten more and more involved with politics and the direction of this nation (even though I could not vote) and I am glad that now there will be one more fully-informed person voting every time and trying her darndest to inspire those around her to make their own decisions about where the country should be headed.

Sure, I was born a brazilian and will always have some traits that cannot be taken away (the dancing, the booty, the drinking tolerance) but the truth is that I grew up here and am just as American as those around me (gosh, it hurts to say that :-p). Now it's my turn to bring a little of my culture to those around me and help to shape and mold the space around me. Sure, I make cracks about how the citizenship oath should state "I promise to forget all geography I ever learned and to not care about the environment and to forget that anyone else in the world exists" but deep down I am a little proud.

By the way, here's something I was thinking about. Signing the oath I realized that there is no room here for hyphens. Sure, my heritage is Brazilian, and I could probably call myself Brazilian-American (as my kids might... if they inherit my dancing skills) but there is no room for the hyphen when it comes to citizenship. And so I thought, if I have to give mine up, why doesn't everyone else? I'm going to leave that thought there before I offend someone...

So, would you like to come to my "Livia's a Citizen 18 years in the making party?"

The first week of the rest of my undergraduate career

The first week was alright. I've been in this funk that I can't quite explain or seem to shake. I believe it's from the lack of vacation and just first week general stress. Hopefully I can snap out of it because I can't afford to get behind so early in the game.

I think I have become super nostalgic since realizing that the end of "college" is near. I want to cram as much fun into this semester as possible.

I love love LOVE my roomies! They are all great girls and we have spent a good amount of time together already, beginning with Melissa's 21st birthday. Check flickr for photos.

I actually have made some decisions (sorta) about the future and some stuff that happened this week served to give me peace about them, but that's for another entry.

On Tuesday I am going for my citizenship interview... wish me luck! (yeah right... :-p)

Financial Aid

One again, I have a problem with the financial aid office. Why is it that this school, which turns out some of the best and brightest of today's society, can't get people with brains to work for them?

I am absolutely certain that if they were to take more care in hiring smart people, they could ultimately save time and money.

Pixie

I was listening to Ani DiFranco in the car today and this song reminded me of a certain person I used to know:

the man behind the counter looks like he's got
a halfa dozen places he'd rather be
and furthermore it looks like he's prepared
to take it all out on me
buddy, i don't really care what your problem is
just don't make it mine
come on kids, let's all hold hands
and pretend we're having a good time

maybe you don't like your job
maybe you didn't get enough sleep
well, nobody likes their job
nobody got enough sleep
maybe you just had
the worst day of your life
but, you know, there's no escape
and there's no excuse
so just suck up
suck up
suck up and be nice
be nice

~Pixie, Ani DiFranco

I know we all slip up every once in a while, but I've been trying to be better about this. But I know one or two people who are notorious for treating other people poorly on their bad days and thinking that it's a good excuse and it's not. But then again they thing they're the exception to a lot of things. Oh well.

In other news, yesterday Will and I had an unknown anniversay. We ended up going to the Braves game with Alex and Brian (I can sometimes get awesome tickets through the place I used to work last summer) and I realized that it was right around this time of year that he and I went to a game with his parents when we first started dating. I came home and checked the ticket (since I am a pack rat) and discovered that it was the same day! How weird is that?

My Quarter Life Crisis

Well, that's what my friend John Bumgarner (my other at work email buddy besides Alex) called it. I have no idea what direction to head in next. There are so many options and I just wish someone would tell me what the right answer is. Where's that darn solution manual again?

I could start graduate school in January. Or I could skip grad school and just get a job. But I want to stay in Atlanta. But is it retarded to stick around cause of Will? And I want to race on the cycling team. But I do have an interview with Delta coming up. And I've always wanted to work for an airline, at least for a little while.

Or, I could start graduate school in August. And help out the Malloys til then. It would be awesome to have some time away from school, since I've been doing it straight since my Junior year of high school. And the job would be great. But maybe I would lose some footing at the ASDL, and I love my job there.

Or maybe I could just take a break until August and then start school. Or take a break then look for a "real" job.

I don't know what to do. I guess when the time comes the right doors will open and close and point me in the right direction. But I'm a big planner and I'd like to know now. I suppose the first step is to talk to Dr. Kirby tomorrow about the reasonableness (hey, that's a tech assessment term) of my missing 7 months of stuff at the lab. We'll see...

Boys are Stupid

No, this post isn't about Will (everything is awesome in that department).

I am really, really, really irritated with two guys right now. Both younger. They're not connected, but it's interesting how similar they are. They both resort to insulting me. About stupid things. Example: an insult regarding that fact that I read music in alto clef (as a violist, this is the clef we read mostly, along with treble). WTF? What kind of person insults the clef of the music you read? How insecure are you (ie how small does your dick have to be) to insult someone on something like that? Their insults have ranged from music to activities to anything else.

It turns out younger boys are stupid. Will says he wasn't stupid at their age, but who knows. I didn't know him then (I doubt he was though, he's always been a step ahead of his peers):-p They are so immature. And the funny thing is that they think they are mature for their age. Yeah, insulting people is mature. Good job, guys.

Seriously, I've been nothing but nice to them. Done anything from waiting on them to carpooling with them. My thanks is shallow, disgusting insults. And they wonder at their lack of friends.

Hey guys, your loss. I'm not the one hurting for company.

A Lack of Interesting Women

A few weeks ago I was a part of a market research group and it has been on my mind ever since. It was a study for a new energy drink from Tab (aka Coke) that was geared towards the female market. Yeah, I know I don't drink energy drinks (at least not without Jaeger) but I figured that wouldn't matter (for $75 and dinner). So sue me.

We were in a miked room with one-way mirrors. It was interesting. As an ice breaker, and to get everyone talking, we had to talk to the girl sitting next to us and learn things about her in order to introduce her to the group. The girl next to me recently moved to Atlanta "for a change of scenery." She worked for Lanier Worldwide and said she loved baseball, summer and the 4th of July.

We were the last to go. As they went around the room introducing each other and themselves, I began to notice something. Each girl had listed shopping, "lying out," and partying as what they liked to do. With the exception of a girl (also from Tech), my partner and myself, all the girls had the same, uninteresting response.

It got to be my turn. Unlike the others, I wasn't a psychology or marketing major. I told them my major, that I do undergraduate research, that I am a member of GT's Cycling Team and a student pilot. They all looked at me in this weird way. They guy leading the group asked me what else I like to do... as if there's time for anything else?

Since when did diversity and interestingness disappear among young women? I have been, for the most part, very fortunate in the women that I meet at Georgia Tech. Most are overachievers. Among the many women I know, there are swimmers, runners, readers, activists, cyclists, pilots, golfers, musicians, researchers and the list goes on. These women are clearly the leaders among our peers and will be later on in life, undoubtedly.

But, following that experience, I begin to wonder if we are not the norm but the exception. Maybe, by attending this fairly "elite" school, we have been surrounded by the over achievers. Of course there are those who, when you ask them what they're interested in, can't really seem to find an answer. Is that the kind of woman that society is producing today? When I enter the "real world" (assuming it ever happens) will I be surrounded by women who cannot carry a conversation about current events or anything outside of the popular fashion trends and celebrities?

Don't get me wrong, I pay attention to all of that stuff as well. But whatever happened to being well rounded?

Will always says that he had an "interesting" (or uninteresting) time dating before he met me. He's always known that he can attract the extremely good looking girls. He said he became tired of the girls who had always gotten through life by relying on their looks. Perhaps those are the same as the ones that I refer to. The ones that spend more time on their makeup than they do on what's in their brain.

Hopefully, that's not the case. For now I'll be thankful for knowing the Jen Lees, Alex Kennedys, Elise Beiseckers, Katy Halls (and the list goes on) of the world. The girls that can talk about everything from politics to last night's episode of Gilmore Girls. And hope that in the future we can be mentors to young girls and inspire them to be "interesting."

Like a Train Wreck

Tonight I received some news that hit me like a train wreck. I discovered that the parents of the kids that I refer to as "my little cousins" have been separated for one week. What was shocking was that I found out from the four year old. But even more so, I never imagined that happening.

I always knew his father wasn't a good father. He wasn't into it. He never wanted children. But Alden came along unexpectedly. Then Kaya. Sure, he didn't want children... but whatever happened to living up to your responsibilities? It's not like blowing off a test or a class... it's two small, extremely precious, bright lives.

The effects of an absent, uninterested father could already be seen on Alden. He clearly craved that male bond and affection. He quickly bonded with my dad ("Uncle E"), Ray ("Uncle Ray") and now Will ("Uncle Will" or sometimes "Squeaky Mouse"). Now he will have a father who is absent, but completely.

"My" kids, Alden and Kaya


I love these kids like they were my own. I don't want to see something so negative happen to them so soon. Which I guess would explain why I'm so upset. I'm also really angry. He was already so absent, what the hell gives him the right to completely exit? Yeah, sure there are those who will say "he has the right to live his own life." To that I say: he shouldn't have had children. And if they say "it wasn't planned" I say so what? It takes two people to make a baby. So grow up and take a little responsibility.

I guess that's the outlook that makes it clear that I definitely want a family of my own :-p I know those who are too selfish for children. Hey, if you don't want children, no problem. Just don't have any.

Family Matters

Last week was my "vacation". It was the first week without classes so I also took time from work. Since Will and I both wanted to take a trip, but save money at the same time, we decided to head to Columbus for some relaxation.

Travelling there, although always fun, makes me nervous every time. In two years, I have only been there 5 or 6 times. I'm not as familiar with his family as he is with mine. On top of that, his mom is not a fan of mine. So, even though I was looking forward to good cycling and nature time, I was not looking forward to being uncomfortable with his family.

This time was different. Instead of heading out to try to see and do everything, we decided to spend more time hanging out and decompressing. That gave me more time with his family. Unlike most of the other time that I have visited, Will's brother was home. I had spent the least amount of time with him so it was neat to see them interact. Thursday night we all sat down to a game of Cranium (which his Mom and Dad also played with us) which was very entertaining, even though Will and I are nowhere near as good as Jen Schur and I were. I really enjoyed just sitting down with them, becoming familiar with how they interact and learning more about all of them. As usual, his sister was hilarious and cracked me up all the time. Imagine a girl Will minus the engineering dorkiness but with all the humor and captivating personality. His Dad talked to me about many things, as usual, even Carnaval in Brazil.

His Mom's attitude towards me has certainly changed. Last time I visited we went out to dinner with just his Dad and sister... his mom wouldn't go. This time, the four of us ate out on Saturday night together (at Texas Roadhouse!). It was nice to talk to them. She and I are strikingly similar in some aspects (which must be extremely scary for Will).

Who knows, perhaps she's just resigned herself to the fact that it's been two years and I haven't gone anywhere. We've weathered everything that's come our way and I expect for that to continue happening. But, I think what was even more important was that both Will and I could be a little more comfortable. His Mom's disapproval of me had placed a large weight on our relationship once and it's very nice for that to begin to lift. It's also great to think that one day I may fit in with them like he does with my family (well, maybe not... my parents would trade me for him).

We had plans to visit Oxbow Meadows, Callaway, Coca Cola Space Science Museum and long bike rides every day. We ended up doing only one long ride, taking naps everyday, visiting the Riverwalk, and watching Wedding Crashers. Oh, and many games of Cranium, of course. It was a wonderful vacation and I'm sad that it's over so soon. As many people have said (most recently repeated by Lance Armstrong)... a body at rest stays at rest.

I really like Columbus. Great biking, you can see the stars (if it's not overcast) and there's nature everywhere.

A Garden


Black and White Garden


The Riverwalk





My cutie


I loved this house!

The Year of the Bicycle

Will and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary this past Tuesday (July 26). I remember talking about the ambiguity of the date we officially "got together" during the first few months we were dating and finally deciding on that date. Getting Will to remember it is another story...

As the day drew near I found myself reminiscing about the time we have spent together. Our first year was exciting. There was a lot of traveling involved... trips to Greenvile, to Columbus, Will coming to Atlanta, Spring Break at Ft. Walton (with dozens of airplanes!), Savannah, D.C., my first camping trip and numerous hiking trips. It was The Year of the Airplane. We bonded at first over our love of everything that flies and spent the first year getting to know each other and all of our passions.

This past year was The Year of the Bicycle. Although the first year had more "exciting" events, and this past year had many bumps in the road and was very difficult at times, I enjoyed our second year more. We bonded even more through Will's passion for cycling and my interest in learning it. I learned so much about him, and about myself, this year. He never ceases to amaze me. Will has become the friend that I have always been looking for; the one who you can count on to answer the phone in the middle of the night, to come pick you up from the airport at 2am carrying a pillow and your favorite stuffed animal, who will drive 30 minutes to give you a hug, who defends you when you need it, stands up for you, and a million other things to show that they care. He is there when I need someone to lean on, gives me pep talks when I need inspiration, and pushes when he knows I can do better.

The past few weeks were especially rough, given the rollercoaster that I was riding. But after an especially difficult talk we had, I decided to get off the rollercoaster and be happy. I don't know what caused my emotions to tumble that way, but as I sat there and looked at him I knew I didn't want anything else and that I especially didn't want to make him hurt anymore.

Tuesday Will had an especially rough day with the applied physiology study, but he insisted on going out that evening. He surprised me with red roses (I never thought I would get some from him!) and took me to dinner at The Melting Pot. Dinner was wonderful (we realized that in 2 years we had never eaten somewhere with reservations :-p). We were there for 2 hours and both enjoyed a special meal and new experience. He told me that several years ago he never would've done something like that and that I show him so many new thing. It was awesome to hear because I know that he has definitely brightened my world and I hoped to do just a little for him.

He asked me that night what year 3 would be called, and I told him to ask on the night of our anniversary. But earlier today we decided it will be The Year of Awesomeness. :-)

Very Interesting

You Are 47% American

America: You don't love it or want to leave it. But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over. On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead... And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch!

How American Are You?

Surprise Surprise

Your Political Profile

Overall: 20% Conservative, 80% Liberal

Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

Moronic Behavior

What kind of person treats someone they love and that means the world to them this way? Especially at this point in time...

From now on, no more idiotic, mean, moronic behavior. I will gain and keep some perspective. I will not let a little insignificant comment bring all of my fears and insecurities to the surface and send me into a spin. I will be logical.

No more.
I will be understanding and loving. I will be the Livia he loves and deserves.
The end.

Rollercoaster

I have been on an emotional rollercoaster for the past few weeks. I don't know what's going on. I am moody, irritable. I keep picking fights with Will. The littlest thing will send me into a spin. This should be a happy time - we are celebrating our two year anniversary on July 26. We had a wonderful weekend, but here it is Tuesday and I picked a fight at work.

I figure it's a combination of things, and none really to do with him. The loneliness, the feeling that I'm getting left behind while the lives of the people I know take off with direction, the fear that comes with the unknown, the loss of perspective. Then there's the fear that we will go back to that place again, that I will become too dependent. Wondering about whether the little things will become large things as time goes on and I look to "settle down." It causes me to put up walls.

For so long the issues and problems in our relationship have revolved around Will and I guess I have become comfortable. But now I have to take responsibility. And I really hate that I make things difficult and make him doubt how nice and sweet he is.

Girls really are more trouble than they're worth, aren't they?

Cracked

Everytime I look at you the world just melts away
All my troubles, all my fears dissolve in your affections
You see me at my weakest but you take me as I am
And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land

You stay the course, you hold the line you keep it all together
You're the one true thing I know I can believe in
You're all the things that I desire
You save me, You complete me
You're the one true thing I know I can believe in

I get mad so easy but you give me room to breathe
No matter what I say or do 'cause you're too good to fight about it
Even when I have to push just to see how far you'll go
You won't stoop down to battle but you'll never turn to go

You stay the course, you hold the line you keep it all together
You're the one true thing I know I can believe in
You're all the things that I desire
You save me, you complete me
You're the one true thing I know I can believe

There are times I can't decide when I can't tell up from down
You make me feel less crazy otherwise I'd drown
But you pick me up and brush me off and tell me I'm ok
Sometimes that's just what we need to get us through the day

You stay the course, you hold the line you keep it all together
You're the one true thing I know I can believe in
You're all the things that I desire you save me, you complete me
You're the one true thing i know i can believe

~ Sarah McLachlan, Push

I Want the Solution Manual

I always enjoy riding with John. We talk the whole time and it's really refreshing to talk to someone new yet nice to know someone with so many similarities.

I don't know if they come to mind because of what we talk about or because they've just been on my mind, but I have been wondering so many things recently. How do you know when it's the right person? Should you invest the time and energy if it's not the right person, or should you keep looking? If things are different then what you thought they would be, is it because you settled or because your expectations were unrealistic? Are they high standards or are they unrealistic?

Ok, so we haven't actually talked about all of these... but what I conclude is that I want the solution manual.

Life After ESAS

I walked into work early Monday morning, ready to lead the ONR meeting with Elise and Sara, but there stood Dr. Kirby. She said locking out the calculator had pissed off some people at NASA and that they called and said our "services are no longer required." Even though I'm upset about the situation, I'm excited to get back to a normal working schedule. The past few weeks I logged 3 weeks of overtime/vacation, the first of which I will be taking next week. I have forgotten to take care of many things, sometimes bills, sometimes school stuff. I have stayed in that building until midnight way too many times and have lived the unhealthy life that I try to avoid.

One of the things that I forgot about was my degree petition. I had attempted to contact the Modern Languages department over a month ago about my minor petition, and I just assumed they would get back to me before the petitions were due. Friday I finally had some time to breath and found out that the deadline had passed. After some running around I was able to turn in my major one and they told me I have one week to turn in the minor petition. Now if I could only get the idiots at the Modern Languages building to answer the phone, email or anything!

One thing that happens when I have free time is that I ride my bike... a lot! I finally hit my goal of 100+ miles per week last week, faciliated by a challenging 60 mile ride on the Silver Comet (my longest, to date). We went to the big tunnel which was cool and kinda creepy. Still, it was fun though. I am so much faster than what I used to be! How exciting! It is the neatest thing ever to catch up to Will and hear him say "you're hauling."
That's one of the biggest compliments I've ever gotten from him.

So next week I have the week off... it'll be GRE study time and Grad School App filling out time. And catching up on schoolwork. And lots of riding!

Spacefuckers, Inc

For those who don't know, the title is a reference to a NIN song.

But anyway, I think they should rename NASA that. At least the Space part. Thanks to some retard in a one-year rotational position at Headquarters, we get no credit for all the work we've done. This guy was very skeptical back in May and now he wants credit for the idea. Hey buddy!!! It's been freakin published already!

The whole Space part of that organization is so messed up. Letting one guy determine billions of taxpayer dollars... that's just not right. But I guess NASA isn't really an Ethical place, is it?

I realize that disorganization and "politics" happens at every company, but NASA I feel is beyond help. Hey Congress, let's reboot! Plus, most people don't care about Mars anyway.

Here's hoping they further embarrass themselves.

Follow Through

So, since you want to be with me
You’ll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
For you to stick around
I’ll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through

~ Gavin DeGraw

I was feeling better but now I am back to the thoughts I was having. And, despite the best of my intentions, I couldn't keep myself from being stuck in this place again.

A Hard Day's Night

A summary of the work week from hell:

Sunday - 10 hrs
Monday - 10 hrs
Tuesday - 18 hrs (look at that! I worked a whole "week" in one day!)
Wednesday - 10 hrs
Thursday - a normal 8 hours

And, I'm only part time. But no, it was a great experience, and due to a turn of events, our project will continue for a few weeks. I learned a lot; I had a running list of things that I wanted to write about in head but I think it's disappeared due to lack of sleep.

I have never worked so hard at a job before... or for so long. I discovered my prison bitch name (Bruce); we watched boohbah on the cove wall (thanks to a dooce entry I sent to will); I discovered that boys will not read, even when told when and where to do so; I really don't like complainer moochers (this we already knew); Elise's chiming clock SUCKS (it's reallly long and I definitely remember the 4 am chime but not the 3, 5 or 6am ones); I probably have eaten enough junk and crap the past week to ruin any working out I have done in my life ever; my stomach does not handle a lot of coffee well; I ATE LUNCH WITH AN ASTRONAUT!!!! (Don Pettit), Space is kinda cool, but NASA still sucks (organizationally, anyway); being at work for 18 hours straight makes me very giggly; I can understand why people say "I need a beer" at the end of a hard day; and the list goes on...

One great thing that happened was that I was getting the usual questionare from Doc regarding grad school and Dr. Kirby walked up and began singing my praises. That made my day! Hopefully that was my ticket into the program, because I'm really enjoying the experience.

I'm sure I'll have more thoughts on all of this as my brain begins to turn back on (which it will do hopefully before my mse take home test is due tomorrow).

The Tip of the Iceberg

I worked today. On a Sunday. From 9-5. And that's only the beginning. Hopefully I will be superly organized and productive this next week.... because I have no other option. Dr. Kirby has already written emails to have me excused from class Tuesday-Thursday.

So... this week
Monday: @work at 830am. Lcc 920-1030. Work like a mad woman. THEY (NASA) arrive at 3pm. Hopefully home by 7 for a bike ride.

Tuesday: @work at 7am. Work like a mad woman... until Wednesday?

Wednesday: @work.... sometime... all day? Hopefully won't work too late

Thursday: @work... probably a somewhat late night... at some point must do my MSE test

Friday: DAY OFF!!

I guess it's good that John L. is out of town because now I'm not tempted to stay up til 3am chatting with him. Will told me that he doesn't want to hear of any "not-sleeping" this week. I guess I agree. I'm sad that it'll be such a crazy week because that means all sort of unhealthy things... lack of sleep, bad food, tons of caffeine, no time for workouts.

However, Friday I am planning on going on that elusive 60 mile ride that I've been attempting for weeks. :-p

As Michelle says... Tag, I'm it.

My Fortune

From Dinner tonight...

"The person you are thinking of is also thinking of you."

Hmm....

Oh...

"This is the start of something good, don't you agree?"

~Gavin DeGraw

Let the madness begin!

Well, this is the start of the craziness at work. I feel so behind already. I need to hurry and learn my techs tonight. Tomorrow hopefully won't be too late, but after Sunday I'll basically be out of commission for a few days.

On top of the work thing, I have an lcc paper due monday and an MSE take-home test to do sometime this week. Hopefully I'll get the MSE test done by Monday morning cause after that I won't even be going to class. :-p

When I got home today I was very motivated to get my work done, but now it has left and I'm back in a funk. I understand my funk... but I don't want to be in it. My new cycling friend said something very wise today...

"Life is Completely Random yet Everything Happens for a Reason"

So... is my situation random? Did I not put myself in it and keep pushing it? I did enter into it with the best intentions, and now I am confused. I never thought that I could be having thoughts like these. Perhaps nothing is really going on and I've just surprised myself by even thinking the things I have been...

At the same time, half of the things are completely irrational. Could be that this "situation" doesn't even exist. And I must be crazy. Maybe this is another character test... haven't I grown enough this year already?!?!

Now that I've completely confused everyone... time to be productive!

The Best Ride Ever!

Well, definitely top 3 anyway. Today I met up with a new guy from Tech to ride around Dunwoody. We started doing one of the loops that I usually do. And then we kept going... and going... until 2 hours later we had covered 26 miles of hilly terrain. I'm not sure about him, but that's the longest hilly ride I've ever done.

I had such a great time. I didn't realize what a difference good company makes! He's a really cool guy and I'm looking forward to doing some more riding with him. Bad thing is I am definitely slower than him... and will be even more so (or... he will be much faster) when he gets his nice bike. What is it with boys getting nice bikes and leaving me behind? :-p

I realized how much I love meeting and getting to know new people. Maybe it's from the absence of so many people (summer, graduation, other reasons). But, as usual, when I meet new people I get superly excited about them. Let's hope this time things go better than some others. :-p

Anyway, that bike ride came just in time. After all the trouble I've been having, a super fun day was exactly what I needed. Amazing how what we need is always there, huh? :-)

Confusion/Weirdness

I have no idea where the fascination comes from or why I am so intrigued. This has happened twice before... except for some reason this time it's different. But, my thoughts are completely illogical...

Who knows, maybe I'm just at the bottom of one of those "waves" that they talk about in Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus (yep, another self-help book. it was very useful during the breakups).

I can't really elaborate because 1)I'm not really sure if I understand it myself, 2) I don't want people who I care about who read this to get the wrong idea and 3) I don't want the people who read this who I don't trust to know details about my life.

I guess time will tell...

There has also been weirdness on my bike. Today's ride was infinitely better than the past two but I am still not completely comfortable. I hate that next week will be really busy at work... that means I won't get to ride every day. Not that I do right now anyway... :-p But next week I won't even have the option.

(Chiropractic) Healing

I took the week off from my bike because of my back. Tuesday I was riding and my right side started to cramp up so badly that I had to come home earlier than I planned. Yesterday I visited the chiropractor. It was a different experience than my previous with chiropractic care. My last chiropractor was extremely expensive, never saw the end of care, and believed that an adjustment could fix everything (to the point that her daughter had a stroke and is now disabled due to lack of medical care).

Yesterday I went to Regina's chiropractor. She had told me that it was a different experience. I told him what had been bothering me, got on the table and he started to "assess" what was going on. He would tell me to resist him, then ask me a question or tell me to think of something, then repeat the resisting thing. The connection between mental and physical is amazing. When I was weak about something, he would tell me to close my eyes, look to a side, breathe out, and think of something weird like "love plus 10." I'm not sure if I really understood, but it made me able to resist him. Anyway, he adjusted my neck, my right shoulder and the right side of my back. I guess I'll see tomorrow on the bike how it feels.

He said I had been under pro-longed stress. No, really? And I realized that I have a lot of frustration associated with the past and with my injuries/health. I realized throughout the rest of the day how much I have held in and how much resentment goes along with it. I guess I need to work on that. Maybe I should look into therapy. I'm going back next Saturday... at least he can help me with my back.

I really liked that he believes strongly the connection between mental and physical health. He also spoke of excercise and eating/living a healthy lifestyle. I completely agree.

I'm excited about being able to work out this week. I am currently icing my right leg, which has also been bothering me for the past few weeks. I'm not sure how I managed to get shin splints... one of the reasons I love cycling is that it is low impact!

This weekend was good. Dr. Kirby sent us all home early Friday. I'm anticipating a superly busy next few weeks. Will and I went swimming, then out to dinner. Saturday we went to the pool also and today I played outside for a long time with Alden and Kaya. I love being outside.

Here's hoping I have a new cycling buddy soon!

A few of my favorite things...

My favorite kids


My favorite guy...


My favorite cyclists...

Frustration

Saturday was by far the worst bike ride I have ever been on. I don't mind a strenous or challenging ride. Those are not the things that make a ride bad. I have been have problems with my shoes recently and just overall comfort on my bike and Saturday was just awful. I was really disappointed because it was warm and rainy and I love riding in the rain. Will tried to help me assess my form and guided me through some pedaling drills but that didn't provide any answers to my right foot problem. Then, he made a comment about how my seat was positioned. I changed it and haven't been comfortable since.

I hate being so frustrated with it because I really do enjoy riding. I discovered that it is my quiet time. My time to myself when no one else is around and I can be immersed in my thoughts... or not, depending on how I feel (except when I'm riding with Will... in which case it's an enjoy the view sort of ride).

I have a list of ideas as to what is going on, so hopefully I will get to the bottom of things soon. I hope that the discomfort doesn't deter me from my "stepping it up" goals.

Today's ride was cut short by cramping in my back. Saturday's visit to the Chiropractor won't arrive soon enough.

Making a Difference

God's timing is always interesting... sometimes funny, sometimes not. Today Will broke his bike (the frame). Interesting after our weekend trip to the bike store and my trying to convince him to consider buying a new bike. Apparently God agrees with me :-p

Now for the deep stuff...

Perhaps it comes from my background, but I have always, always been really sensitive about poverty around the world and contributing to society (by either donating time, money or both). As compared to the life I would have led in Brazil, I am extremely extremely blessed. It's very easy to forget that. Now, I always have this soft spot because those are my roots. Many people rarely ever see outside the United States, and if they do get to travel it is often to first world countries. I remember how affected I was upon returning from my mission trip in Jamaica. The feelings are difficult. They can range from guilt to confusion (why was I fortunate enough to be born where I was) to even anger (why aren't we doing more).

Tonight I was watching Primetime Live on Brad Pitt with my mom. He spoke of his travels to Africa and all the problems there ( Aids epidemic, lack of food and education, lack of medicine). As the richest nation in the world, the United States is one of the stingiest donators. And, frankly, there is no excuse for that. The campaign he is supporting is trying to change the state of Africa within our lifetimes. I feel there is no excuse not to.

It seems so daunting. There are so many causes... from aids to cancer to poverty to rebel fighters in countries across the world to women who still don't have rights to saving the environment. How do you choose one? How do you know you'll make a difference? How can one person make a significant difference? Sure I donate my blood. Sure I raised some money for Ovarian Cancer. Sure I donated my time to orphans in Jamaica. Those deeds are barely the tip of the iceberg.

What makes me so sad is that so many people (and so many politicians) choose to ignore what is going on in the world. Who cares if you ruin a wildlife reserve? Who cares if we don't donate more, the US isn't responsible for the rest of the world, we have our own problems here.

I wish I could reach all those people somehow and give them perspective. The government here, though not without its (increasing) amount of problems, doesn't persecute you. You have food and a place to sleep. Many of us have educations. And our families. A good chance at survival. Safety, security, comfort. Here, people have the luxury of not taking their prescribed medicines. Other places, they struggle all their lives for a teaspoonful of cough syrup. We complain about gas prices and commute times. I wish everyone would just band together to make a difference. I know it is difficult to choose where to start but the point is to start.

A Selfish Thought

This week is the blood drive at Tech. I like to donate as frequently as possible, but this time I've decided not to (shocking, I know!) The reason is because donating takes me out of the working out loop for awhile or keeps me from doing any vigorous excercise. This time I've decided to make excercising my priority and skip the drive. Is that really selfish? With a 60 mile ride planned for Sunday, I don't think I can afford to be missing any blood.

In other news the bond on one of my broken teeth fell off yesterday while I was brushing my teeth (and I wasn't even brushing that particular tooth at the time!) That makes me really irritated. My appointment with the dentist is next Thursday, but hopefully I can go sooner.

So Atlanta seems to have settled into the pattern of afternoon thunderstorms that I remember from every time I had a 4-6pm flight schedule (J. Scott argued that no such thing exists, but I guess this week proves me right). Which kinda stinks, because it makes riding difficult (riding in the rain = lots of fun; riding in hail = i don't even want to try it). So, I'm waiting for the current storm to clear out a little so I can go out.

Yesterday I stayed on campus after work. The plan was for Will to fix my bike and then we would go to the Silver Comet so he could check my form (I am having serious trouble with my right shoe :-p) Well, it took longer to fix than we thought (although, it's back to shifting how it was before but we've determined that there is a fundamental problem with my left shifter) and then there was a huge storm over the silver comet, so it ended up being a rest day for both of us. I like those.

Ok, it's just about stopped thundering so off I go!

Ah the Weekend

Shortly after I wrote my last post I went downstairs where I found a fortune that someone had left out from our Chinese food. It says "Education is a process of living, not a preparation for future living." Hmmm. I think someone is trying to tell me something.

Fortunately the rain stopped this weekend. That was exciting. Friday I was going to go to work for just a little bit after which I would head out for my afternoon of children, but I woke up so tired that I imed Mike (my carpool buddy) and asked if I could bail (turns out he was excited... he wanted to go back to sleep. My body just said no that morning (I try to be good about listening to it). My allergies/sinusitis had been acting up all week so I took majorly strong medicine the night before, PLUS I was recovering from a pretty difficult workout (my toughest workout day) so I decided a little extra sleep would be a good idea. No kidding! I slept for another 3 hours :-p

I cleaned a little then headed out to take Riley swimming. The weather was bad, of course, so we ended up hanging out here at my house for a little (she was fascinated with all the cats and by blowing bubbles). She scared me though... she didn't wait like I asked her to and took a fall off the top step outside... I thought I was going to have to make a trip to the hospital! Fortunately she was ok.

Alden and Kaya came over afterward. I played with them outside, fed the dinner, gave them a bath and stuck them in bed to watch Pirates of the Caribbean with my dad. Afterwards Will and I went out to dinner and came back for a long night's sleep.

Saturday was messed up. First we went to go play at the new Performance Bike store that opened in Dunwoody. I convinced will to try one of the carbon bikes they had in stock to see if it was all that he thought it would be (it was). Hopefully I will be able to convince him to get one soon. But, it was fun to play at the bike store for awhile. I was looking forward to going to Locomotion in the Garden
with him after his Engine Design stuff but he got held up with it. So, I hung out with John for a little, then we went out to dinner. Then was the fun part! We met up with Alex and Brian at Startime in Roswell and played for a few hours! We played Mini Golf and basketball and other games. Good times.

This morning Will and I got up at the butt crack of dawn to go to the Silver Comet. We rode for about 3 hours then came back here and spent the rest of the day napping and playing with the kids (pictures also to come sometime). Now I have to somehow motivate myself to do my MSE take home test.

The point of recapping everything was to say... that weekends are so much better than weekdays. But, Will says we wouldn't know hot if we didn't have cold to compare it with, which I think is a good point. I had a lot of fun with him this weekend. We talked about a lot of stuff. We revisited some of the events from this past semester and we also talked politics. It was fun :-) I especially enjoyed playing in the bike store. And riding. Oh well, here comes another week... my goal for this week: ride my bike a lot! (even though my shoes suck!)

Life in the Fast Lane

There are times when I think that I want life to just hurry up so I can get this school stuff over with and get on with "living" (whatever that means) and there are others when I wish it would slow down because I know it will all continue to rush by.

I had a hurry up moment the other day. I found out that a friend from high school, who I am still friends with but amidst the craziness of Tech (she's an ID major) we've lost touch, is getting married next month. The last time we hung out was at Six Flags night. She was wearing a ring that night, but said it wasn't her engagement ring. It was hard to explain the feeling that I got. I all of a sudden wanted to forget about grad school and get a job and start working on that life that I've always imagined I'll end up with.

Then, I guess some perspective catches up with me. Do I really want time to hurry by? Won't I wish for these minutes back later on, when times speeds by at an even faster rate? I think so. My challenge now is to enjoy where I am and make every day valuable. To look forward to what lies ahead without taking today for granted. It's going to be tough.

I go through these phases. As compared to some, I think I'm a pretty low maintenance girl... except when it comes to jewlery. I LOVE nice jewlery. And because of all the marriage/engagement talks happening, I've been amusing myself online again. Poor Will has gotten to hear about all of it... he now (almost) knows my taste... at least my current taste. I know this phase will pass. But it is exciting to think that someday it will happen.

I have been very busy (of course). Work has been taking a lot of my time, but it has been interesting. Some pretty important NASA people were at ASDL this past Thursday for a meeting, but unfortunately I missed a good part of it because I had to work on something they wanted to take back with them. I did get to watch Doc do his Jedi Mind tricks on him (we all decided he is Yoda - he has a green laser pointer) and score some more deals with them. Now I will be working on an Air Force thing.

Alden and Kaya were here both Friday and Sunday. Alden brought his new bike and Will and I took him to practice riding it. It is so cute to see Will interact with him. I will post pictures soon. Sunday we were watching OLN and everytime a cyclist was on the TV Kaya would point and say "Uncle Will!" That was really cute too.

Saturday I went swimming with Alex, Brian, Lucas and Will. We had a good time. Brian is really funny when he opens up. And Alex is always amusing, of course. We are now interracial opposite sex cousins.

Here comes another week...

Boredom

I have had absolutely nothing to do at work today. Dr. Kirby is up at NASA and we're (me, Elise, Sarah - the planning matrix team) on hold until she gets back. Yesterday when we asked for more to do Nando said he would give us something but of course that never happened (wait - I learned that lesson last summer!) so here I am. I got in this morning, checked email, read the news, when to class, went to lunch with Will Randall, now I'm back just waiting til it's a decent time to head up to Roswell (so I miss Colin 's wake-up crankiness). What is it with cranky boys named Colin? I wish I had remembered my MSE book but by the time I did I was on the on-ramp to the highway.

Anyway, I am in a cube for the summer, so that is pretty nice. I share with Jason, which is even nicer. We have fun iming (even though I can turn around and poke him... which I do) and goofing around.

I've actually been getting into the swing of things pretty well but I am still slow in the morning and getting to bed. New rule: no sugar close to bed time. Yesterday my dad brought home brazilian desserts, so I had to try one (so he wouldn't feel bad) and I think it kept me up late. Yesterday was also messed up. The morning was awesome cause it took me no time to get to work, but I paid for that in the afternoon. An accident about 8 miles from my exit on 285 shut down practically everything so that it took me 45 minutes to drive 4 miles (from the bridge to 285 from 85 N to the Chamblee Dunwoody exit to my house). So my bike ride was late so dinner was late so everything was messed up and my body didn't wind down until about 1230am (which wouldn't be bad if I didn't have to get up at 645).

I have gotten to work out the past two days so that's cool, because I want to get back to where I was (and go beyond that) before I got sick. Tuesday I was able to make it up the big hill (largest, steepest hill ever that I was only able to walk up with Will just a few weeks ago) but then my ride had to be shorter because my legs were dead. Yesterday was more moderate, but I still can tell how much ground I lost in the past few weeks.

This weekend will consist of biking, pool time (hopefully with Alex and Steve), babysitting, and the kids on Sunday. If Star Wars isn't too violent I'll take Alden to watch it. If it is oh well.

Isn't Summer Supposed to be Less Busy?

So... summer is here. For the past 2 weeks I have been trying to cram my stuff into my room at home. True that it is maybe 1.5 times the size of a dorm room, but it already has a lot of stuff in it. However, I think I'm mostly done. It's disheartening that I will move it all out again in a few months and shove it into another tiny room only to move it again in December. I enjoy being at home because of Piper, the food and being able to watch Ellen Degeneres in the evening. I also like Dunwoody for bike riding. I don't like the commute and not having a ton of channels. But I still get OLN, which is vital for the summer. I miss Alex and her craziness and it brightens my day (because I bust out laughing) to find emails from her with the subject of PENIS in my Inbox.

I have mostly been working the past two weeks and trying to get into what my summer schedule will be. I hope to ride my bike everyday and get in bed by 1030 (that is my rule... I am allowed to read if I'm in bed by 1030, no go if it's any later). So far I have already read The Notebook and The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks. Beautiful books but man did I cry a lot! Now I am reading Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton, which is awesome! Coming up next is the Shopaholic Series, The Hitchhiker's guide to the Universe, and some book J.T. recommended. If you would like to add to my list, let me know!

Work has been fairly busy and will pick up even more since we just got awarded this NASA thing (sorry, it's proprietary) and it's due by early July. Hopefully I will get to meet Dr. Griffin, head of NASA. Since all the grad students are gone for the summer Dr. Kirby hired a ton of people which means Will, Jason Liles and Alex's Brian will all be working there this summer. It's going to be tons of fun! Too bad I have to go to class in the middle of it all :-p If only there was a way to only work this summer and still graduate in the fall (oh wait... there is... but i'm not doing it).

Today I ran into problems with financial aid, then I ran into problems with Revonda Mullis. The ASDL came to my rescue with the financial aid stuff (allowing me to register for research hours) but Lexie still called Revonda a "silly cow". That's hilarious...and true. I feel like the rest of undergrad is now on the back burner and I'm just biding my time til I get to be a grad student there.

This past week was eventful since I broke two teeth (currently have bonds, will need porcelain veneers in the future), my sister moved home, I met my brother's new girlfriend (blonde, as usual) and I had to deal with the AE department. I think that's enough excitement for one week. I was able to get almost completely caught up on my gilmore girls, although I missed this week's :-(

"It Starts With De....

...and ends in lusional." That was Will's comment about my (sucky) roommate Carol after last night. But, before I explain what happened, let me explain my thoughts and expectations.

In high school there was a large gap between my maturity level and that of some of my peers. I always assumed that it was because my school didn't have very high academic standards, so those that were lower on the totem pole were also more immature. I really looked forward to Tech. I thought (for some crazy reason) that because it was a smart school the maturity level would increase. Unfortunately I have discovered that in some cases it is not only the same as in high school but is even lower. Imagine my disappointment. Among some other examples (like Mr. Chief Engineer of my design group throwing a little tantrum - which included slamming things - when the proposal wasn't the way he wanted) what happened last night exactly fits the bill.

Since the first day I moved in the girl in the room immediately next to mine has not been nice. While Alex and Jen and I tried to be friendly to each other and tried to get to know each other, Carol was in denial about having roommates. She contributed nothing. I purchased everything for the bathroom, cleaned it, as well as took out her trash. I even turned the fire alarm off (that woke up everyone in the apartment) after her not so bright boyfriend set it off somehow and just left. Carol, in fact, disliked us so much that she would look the other way or even walk in a different direction to avoid us when she saw us.

Anyone who knows me knows that I do not like a moocher, and she is a moocher. But above that she is inconsiderate, particularly with her music. It has always been loud. I understand during the day, but she generally returns at 1am, turns it on, goes to bed late, then lets her alarm go off for 3 hours in the morning (which I can also hear) after which the music immediately starts back up (and it's almost never good music). Anyway...I mentioned to her once that it was loud. I saw no improvement. I suggested moving her subwoofer away from the wall that we share. No improvement.

Then, over Christmas break, Alex gets a message through Brian from the girls who live across from us (and are on the swim team) that she had been playing music so loud that she was disturbing them. I sent her an email about it.

The next semester saw no improvement (naturally). Since asking her, emailing her, and leaving her notes didn't work I resorted to banging on the wall. I didn't do this too often, but I did do it last night. Instead of the music getting softer, it go louder. I was about to go knock on her door to explain to her that I have been tired since August because I haven't been able to sleep well and that after the past few weeks I really would like to rest when she came out of the room and started yelling at me. She immediately started swearing and raising her voice (I'm beginning to think she may have a hearing problem - everything she does is loud). Among her accusations, she called all three of us Bitches for not including her and she yelled at me for not talking to her face to face. She said I had only mentioned the noise to her once, etc. Maybe she forgot that in this country your rights end as soon as you start start affecting the rights of others.

That's where the delusiconal comes in. Hopefully I don't have to explain how crazy all of her accusations were. This brings up another thing I have thought about - how different perceptions of the same situation can be depending on who you are. She seemed very irrational and even bordering on violent so I chose to leave and start the move out process a few days early. Will (who witnessed everything from day 1), showing off his wisdom and maturity (as usual), talked me through it. He hypothesized that she probably thinks many people in her life are "bitches" and that she can do no wrong. He also pointed out how she was not open to reasoning and was defensive from the beginning, as well as how she rejected very normal forms of communication. He tried to calm me down by saying that there will always be people like her in the world and that they will always end up flat on their faces and that I just have to let them bounce off of me instead of taking me down with them (good advice, I think). I just kept asking how people could be so inconsiderate and not realize it (his explanation was that she has probably been that way since birth).

I emailed our CA regarding quiet hours and as of today they are 24 hours. I forwarded the email to her and told her we would not hesitate to report her to housing. Jen told me that she had the music on pretty loudly earlier today.

So, here I am at home. I have not gotten to move everything (I just moved clothes today... and not all of them even!) so I will be around this week to monitor her. What gets to me is that this semester I have had many encounters with these sort of irational reasonings that just leave you wondering 'wtf?' It's almost laughable it's so ridiculous...

I am definitely looking forward to next year and having fun with my new roomies and the bestest roomie of all time (Alex!!!!)

Tour de Georgia 2005

This past weekend was AWESOME! I know that it was a once in a lifetime thing (that I hope to go to every year!) and that I will always remember it. I am going to try my best to put it into words, but I know I will never be able to do the feeling justice. So, here is my sorry attempt at preserving one of the most memorable weekends of my life..

Saturday, April 23

I decided to skip my Ovarian Cycle ride and go with Will, Sarah and some guys from the Cycling team to the Brasstown Bald stage. We all met up at 630am. After stopping in Roswell to let the Malloy's dogs out, we arrived at Brasstown around 9am and began our walk up (Sarah wasn't aware that we were going to be hiking :-p).


On our way up the mountain (spray paint from previous year)

We had checked the weather forecast, but as it turns out it was wrong. But, actually it wasn't that cold walking up. We ended up hitching a ride with someone up to the parking lot, where it was really cold. Then we headed up to the very top of the moutain where we met up with Colin, Pete and Richard. It was very foggy and humid (and cold) - Will was wearing shorts and Sarah had flip flops on :-p. We stayed in the tower for a long time because it was so cold outside. After awhile of trying to warm up and dry off we headed on down the mountain to claim our spot. We found the perfect place... it was a switchback where we could see the road below us (the plan was to get two glances of the cyclists). We stayed there for awhile, trying to decipher what a man was spray painting onto the road. After half an hour people walking up said "oh look, a strong arm" and after another 20 minutes Pete says "hey, the thing going through the arm that looks like a needle is a lance!" Anyway, as we got colder and colder we decided to walk down the mountain to find a warmer place. We ended up at the foot of the mountain, which was a pretty good spot. Since we were only about 1/2 mile away from the car, Will, Sarah and I went to go sit in the heat for awhile. We sat until we thought the riders were getting close, then headed back to the foot of the moutain where Colin was waiting. After more waiting (and waiting) and laughing at Ted from the Cycling team for showing up in a garbage bag on his bike, the minute car finally came through. At this point it was after 5pm. It was totally worth it, though. I was completely awestruck as the riders came through. I didn't really get a great view because I was looking through the camera and shivering, but now I have video! We headed down the road to watch the peloton pass, then got in the car, got some food and headed home.

Will and I turned right around and headed back to Startime in Roswell for Emily and Ben's Bday Whirly Ball thing. It was a lot of fun, but the combination of being up since 530 am and alcohol put me out like a light. We ended up staying in Dunwoody that night.

Sunday, April 24
As miserable as Saturday was, Sunday was that wonderful. We woke up after lots of sleep, played with Alden and Kaya a bit, then headed up to Haynes Bridge. Turns out it's only 15 minutes away from my parents house. We pulled into the parking lot just minutes after a car of guys from the Cycling team and headed across the street. While waiting for the trailer to be ready we wandered around the other trailer displays and even got to watch a BMX bike show. It was incredible to see guys upside down in mid-air!


Maaxis BMX Show

We also got to try a GE power test... first one to light up the top light wins a GE t-shirt!


Will and Reuben competing

Turns out the bike will was on had a lower resistance so it made it difficult to win on that one (which probably contributed to me beating Pete from the cycling team)
After that we headed to have lunch in the GE trailer (Will and the Cycling Team got VIP passes after agreeing to help with a GE Curriculum thing this summer). We had a VERY yummy lunch... red meat, chicken, cake, and they were even serving alcohol (although I stuck to the sweet tea). We watched some of the race on the jumbo tv thing, went around to get more free stuff (yay for free water bottles) then finally headed up to the top of the trailer to watch the race.


Will and the view from our VIP Seats at the GE trailer - finish line behind

The cars finally started coming through and the excitement was the same as Saturday... except much warmer and more comfortable!


And the gap closes...

Sunday was also better because the riders rode the circuit 6 times... which means 6x more viewing than Saturday (although they were going much faster). We even got to see the gap between the leaders and the peloton close to nothing. After the race finished, we watched some of the awards. It was interesting to see the two girls who ended up being Tour Hostesses. I was correct - one of them was a blonde. But, it occurred to me that they probably wanted the epitomy of an American girl to be standing there... and I am not it.

At one point - after they both kissed the first award winner - Will informed me that I "am glad" that I wasn't one of those girls otherwise I would be in trouble! :-p
We didn't say for the whole ceremony so that we could try and beat traffic. We did get to pass by the Discovery Team giving autographs and their team car as well, though.


Discovery Channel Team - Best Team



Will in front of the Discovery Channel Car

All in all, it was a truly incredible, fun weekend. I am glad I chose to spend all weekend doing that. It was fun to see all the famous (more or less) cyclists, to spend time with Will around his guy friends, and to just indulge in my new fascination of the sport. I can't wait til next year (where I will ride up Brasstown before the cyclists do) and I hope to make it to some of the larger European races later in life. For the mean time though, I am completely motivated to get back on my bike (after abscence due to sinus infections and senior design) and begin working towards racing some on my own. I'm not exactly sure how to describe all that I feel... I can only say that I am fascinated, awestruck and ready to dive in!

And I owe all of it to Will - his passion for everything that he does is inspiring and he has just been amazing. He is patient enough to not only let me intrude on his one "guy thing" but also answers all the questions I have. I am truly blessed to have someone who is so giving and inspiring.

The End is Here!

We presented our senior design project yesterday. I am so glad that I can stop thinking about that now. It's all I've done for the past few weeks and I'm pretty sick of it. I think the presentation went well though. We got a lot of picky questions from groups, so maybe that means our design is good. Or, it could mean that it is bad and they were trying to expose all the holes in our design. Either way, I'll be happy if the Archangel team doesn't win (mean, I know - but they were mean!)

Today the Senior Design lecture was about working in a large aerospace corporation and being good worker and advancing. I sat there somewhat in disbelief. I'm really old enough to be getting a lecture about how to deal with your first job after graduation? It feels like I blinked and now here I am, a senior. Weird.

So the summer plans are set. Among the things on my (very long) list that I will be doing: taking two classes, working a lot at the ASDL, finishing my pilot's license (I only have the tests left to take!), riding my bike a lot, possibly taking ballet classes, spending lots of time with all of my kids, doing lots of reading, Fridays at the pool, and my very favorite - living with all my kitties (and my parents)! Should be a good summer.

The thing that is not set yet is being YJFC President for the summer. I'm not sure what to do about this. Last summer I was secretary and ended up having to take care of almost everything...dealing with missing EC members (thanks Aaron S), planning fly-ins (thanks Seung), trying to find supplies (thanks Aaron W) and ferrying airplanes (thanks again, Seung). That burned me out so much about the club that I have had a different attitude ever since and was practically counting the days until I wouldn't be the secretary anymore. I'm not so sure I want to jump in again. Plus, the ballet class I want to take is on Tuesday nights.

The thing I am most excited about is the (very strong) possiblity of my mother shipping me off to Brazil for a few weeks at the end of July to help my Grandmother move into the new apartment that we bought her (I can't get over how "cheap" things are over there). This means that I won't be able to go visit SpaceShipOne at Oshkosh, but I'm ok with that. Having never been back, I think it's really important for me to go there and learn about that piece of me that's always been slightly... blurry. It's also cool that half of my family (I have a small family) will be coming up for my graduation. I'm particularly excited about seeing my Great Uncle Ney (he is my Mom's age... and the only other engineer in my family).

Will doesn't know what he will be doing this summer yet. He will either be working full time at the ASDL or taking classes in Columbus or maybe taking classes here. He recently found out that he can't graduate this December and I am sad. I was hoping we would get to do that together.

As far as enjoying the moment, I'm really really excited about this weekend. I will be skipping the Ovarian Cycle to go watch Lance Armstrong in the Tour de Georgia. Sunday we have VIP passes for some hospitality trailer, which seems cool. Oh, and Satruday night we get to go play Whirly Ball for Emily's Birthday, which I am also excited about. Busy weekend... somewhere in there I may study a little for controls.

I was reading the Blog of a friend of mine from church who goes to UGA the other day. She wrote this:

"It has become very apparent lately that I think very differently than everyone around me. It's a good thing; I had just not been as aware of it in the past. I am increasingly greatful[sic] for the diverse high school that I went to and the upbringing that I have had....I think we are all just becoming individuals and growing up/maturing or allowing more of ourselves to show. We're not as dependent on the group for our identities anymore. Adulthood, here we come!"

Interesting that we are learning the same lesson at the same time. Except it seems like the people she is surrounded by seem to catch on a little quicker than some of the people here. Oh well, what can you do? I have been noticing then I know some truly amazing women. Amber is one example. How fortunate am I to have self confident, God-fearing, beautiful women to learn from?

I went to the ear nose throat doctor today. I wasn't very impressed. I was a little late for my appointment. Then I waited in the waiting room for almost 30 minutes. Then they sent me to an exam room where I waited for over an hour. THEN, finally, the dude walks in. Looks in my ears, looks in my nose, prescribes some more antibiotics, decongestants and inhalers and leaves. I wonder what makes him think that it'll work the fourth time around. Plus, it's extremely RARE that I encounter a situation where I feel belittled for not being an American. This was one of them. Even though he was nice and gave me samples, I won't be going back there again. To make me wait over an hour and half for 15 minutes then insult me because I'm not an American doesn't exactly earn my business. So what if it's cheap... I guess you have to pay for service. And I'm fine with that.

Here's hoping the antibiotics will work...and yay for getting to work out tomorrow morning!!!

English is not my first language!

Your Linguistic Profile:

70% General American English

20% Dixie

10% Yankee

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Hmmm.... this sounds like someone I know!

Your dating personality profile: Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active. Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.

Your date match profile: Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps his body in top shape. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living. Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Liberal 2. Athletic 3. Big-Hearted 4. Practical 5. Intellectual 6. Wealthy/Ambitious 7. Romantic 8. Traditional 9. Sensual 10. Adventurous

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Athletic 2. Practical 3. Conservative 4. Big-Hearted 5. Funny 6. Religious 7. Traditional 8. Intellectual 9. Romantic 10. Sensual

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions