Playing Catch-Up

It seems like the more stuff that happens that I'd like to write about, the less time I have to write about them. But, this is Spring Break, so I've decided to seize the opportunity to catch up on the past few weeks... before the wave of craziness arrives. I couldn't decide whether to do one long one or break it up, but I'm going to start with the one long post (perhaps with subheadings?) idea and see how it goes. This one is mostly going to be about cycling, because hey, that is what has consumed me and my time as of late.

Weekend in Review...

I last wrote about being concerned about traveling with the Cycling Team to Georgia Southern to race for the weekend (March 4 and 5). I was extremely nervous, although not about the cycling. I had had only a few encounters with the team and guys on the team before the weekend, and they were mostly not good ones. I didn't feel welcome or included with them, which I thought would make spending several days with them very difficult.

We left Friday afternoon. Will was smart and we rode in the car with just 2 other guys, while the rest of the team went in the CRC van (more on that later). This was a great idea, because I already knew and liked the driver of the car and the other guy was also nice. We stopped somewhere at an ihop and had dinner, which went really well. We arrived at the hotel late at night and basically went straight to bed since we had to get up early the next morning.

Saturday there were 2 events, a Criterium (laps around a closed course, first one done wins) and team time trial (fastest time wins). At this point my nervousness about spending the weekend with all guys changed itself into apprehension and doubt about cycling. I felt extremely out of place and out of my league. Fortunately, I was able to overhear some of the UGA girls talking and that made me feel better, because even if I wasn't faster than them, I did have much more knowledge about my bike. Since only one group could race at a time, I got to watch and cheer for the team, which helped my mood and was a lot of fun. Since the women's field was so small, they did only one race for both levels of cyclists (A and B... usually there are 3 but there aren't enough girls to even do that). The event in itself was a lot of fun. Since there were such strong women racing, I couldn't keep up with most of them, but the course was flat and it was just over 45 minutes long, so physically I was pretty comfortable. I also began to feel better because I wasn't the slowest one, and that was my goal (gotta aim low so I have some chance of making it). The best part was passing all the guys from the team every lap and hearing them yell for me like they hadn't just met me 12 hours before. I then watched Will's race, we went to lunch, came back for some guys racing Cs to do the time trial, then did the dinner/evening/sleep thing.

Sunday's event was a road race. They again started Women's As and Bs together, which means I was dropped after about 20 minutes. I decided that I would stick it out and finish the course (it wasn't that long), it was a beautiful day and I would still earn points for the team. It was pretty windy, so it was difficult at times, but I just decided to consider it a tough workout. Things were going along according to plan until I got a flat tire, not even 1 hour into the race. I had to call Will for him to come get me (the wheel car had long since passed). I was extremely disappointed because I was determined to finish the event, but I guess there was nothing I could do about that. I left shortly after Will's road race started with the people in the car since I wanted to get home early, with the van to follow later. Turns out that was a good decision because about 15 miles south of the ATL the van's tire blew up and tore the brake lines. Fortunately Will was driving and was able to get it off the road without harming anyone or any of the equipment, but they were stuck on the side of the road for quite some time. Turns out the tires were dry rotting...

Tell me this, when you sign the Georgia Tech waiver to ride in school vehicle, don't you assume that they are in basic working condition? If you (like me) do assume this, I think you're wrong. I think it's even more amazing that they didn't seem the least bit concerned that the van was left on the side of the road on I-75 south.

BUT anyway... the weekend ended up being my favorite of this semester to date, not to mention definitely one of my favorites of all of "college." Unfortunately, my opinion of the team had been tainted by one or two loudmouths, and had kept me from participating in more events. I was talking to my friend who had also had the same opinion (because of the same guy, no less) and she said "if they were all more like Will, I'd definitely come to stuff and join." The thing is, they are mostly "like Will": genuinely nice, funny, fun and entertaining people. I definitely came away looking forward to traveling and racing with them in the future... which leads to my next subheading

My Fast is Slow

I came away from Georgia Southern with a very good idea of what my weaknesses are. I have a power output problem. That means I am slow uphill and that's where I get dropped from the group. Fortunately instead of being discouraged by my slowness, I was extremely motivated. After talking to Will about what to do, I decided to take my cycling up a notch by doubling the amount of time I was working out every week as well as adding 2 days of weight lifting. The first week went extremely well, especially since I was able to work out twice on Wednesday, which was a good precursor of the upcoming weekend's race events.

Exactly 1 year after my first race, Tech hosted the cycling race again (it fell on the same weekend). I was extremely excited: I would not doubt be able to measure my progress over the year since we'd be doing the same events. The previous year I had participated in the time trial, and was dropped and dropped out of the road race. I wanted to beat my time on the time trial this year and finish the other events. The previous year I had gotten so excited for the time trial that I went all out for the whole time and was extremely sore for the rest of the day/weekend (and hence did not ride the other events). This year I did much better. I pushed but not to the extent that I had last year, and the results were immediately evident. I was still passed by 3 girls, but not until much later in the course and I was able to catch back up to the one who started right behind me. Interestingly enough her name was Olivia and she and I ended up swapping leading and trailing right up until the finish of the course. I felt much stronger and much more comfortable on the bike, and it's a shame I didn't have a working big ring, because I probably could've taken some time off my total time. Regardless, the first year I did the course (almost exactly 8 miles) in 31 minutes and this year I did it in just over 27 minutes. I finished 7 out of 8, and still have a long way to go, but if I can make that much progress in another year, that'll put me up into the winning times.

After the time trial we got lunch and I got to sit around with Jocelyn and all the guys that race men's Cs while men's As and Bs and women's As raced the road race. It was fun sitting around and cheering for the team and just goofing off in general.

My legs weren't nearly as tired as they had been the year before, so I started the road race. I was able to hang on for about half the first lap (way longer than the previous year before) and found myself alone once again. At this point I was a little irritated because I thought since it was only Womens Bs I would be able to keep up, but thanks to some sandbagging that was not the case. I convinced myself to say in, completed the second lap, and as I passed Will he said if I didn't feel like finishing I should just save it for the next day. So I dropped out, and almost immediately I regretted it. I was riding fast (averaging my time trial speed) and I was already 2/3 of the way done, but oh well. That made me 0-3 for finishing road races that I had entered.

I suffered a crisis of confidence Saturday night, but decided to still show up on Sunday to prove to myself that I could. Sunday was rough. This time they started all the women together again, which means I was dropped. The good news is so were 3 other girls, and I stuck with them for a bit, until they also dropped me (damn hills). I wasn't about to let myself not finish again. The course was extremely challenging for me, 3 11 mile loops of rolling terrain. It definitely is the hardest ride I have ever done, and even though I was the slowest person out there (and technically the very last to finish) I was glad that I completed it. Everyone except the group i started with passed me, but that was sort of neat in and of itself because I could see what was going on with the race and cheer for people as they passed by. I finally finished and was rewarded with people on the team handing me a beer (ok, sorta... miller high life doesn't count) and singing happy birthday. The best part of Sunday was Jocelyn surprising me with brownies (even though I knew she called Will the night before) for my birthday... just cause she thought I was cool. What a compliment.

Once again I came away not disappointed or discouraged but extremely motivated to train harder and again looking forward to racing and traveling again. Consider it one of my new favorite things. Sadly, because of a hellacious work week, I wasn't able to get much riding done, but that will all change. I even plan on working out during the cruise (how cool is that, that they have exercise stuff! Hooray!)

Ok... end boring cycling stories...

Slacker

My dear Melissa... and everyone else who reads... I have been swamped with life and have barely had time at my own computer to compose several pending entries. I'll get to it soon, before I get too far behind (like I am with my episodes of Related). In the meantime, please visit my flickr page to see sorta-photo-blogging of my past two weekends of cycling races (a significant part of why I haven't been around to update).

Work and getting older has otherwise kept me occupied... but I'm on spring break as of tomorrow afternoon. At, in the words of Ben, party thirty.

Hilarious!

And also extremely flattering! I read something on a blog today that made me laugh out loud. It's amazing to see how people hold on to things.

Apparently there are those in the world still obsessed with hating me. I am flattered. It truly is a compliment to know that you are so concerned with me that you take the time to stalk me online. Quite possibly this is the new highest form of flattery.

And hey, who could blame you? I have an awesome life and you're probably sad that you're not a part of it anymore (high school shenanigans will always make me exclude people from the pleasure of my company). It's especially great that it's free of the drama caused by you and girls just like you. I kind of pity you: that you have to go so far just to feel special and included. I hope that's working well for you and I wish you the best of luck.

Melissa, we should start a new club or something!

Weekend Preview?

This weekend I'm going with the Cycling Team to race at Georgia Southern. I have never travelled anywhere with just guys, let alone 10-15 of them.

I think tonight's meeting was probably a good indicator of what my weekend will be like.

Scene: Room full of boys and Livia

*Fart*
Laughter

The end.

Guess I'll have to make sure I pack the immature sense of humor. :-p

Bandwagon

I'm going to jump on Melissa's ranting bandwagon:

1) If you want something done, and I work for you, give me proper instructions. "This needs to change" doesn't cut it. If you don't like how I did it, fix it yourself. None of us are mind readers. And none of us thinks it's funny that we have to keep changing what we've already done 5 other times. And I'm not going to stay late and work my ass off for a deadline if you keep changing your mind about what you want. Here's a suggestion to making a deadline: perhaps look at the work before the day before it's due. Revolutionary concept, I know.

I can't imagine 2 more years of this.

2) Everyone judges, this I know. But try not to judge what you don't understand. Especially if you're dumber than me. That does not fly.

3) It's incredibly amusing to hear clueless people wax philosophic about life. Until you realize that they're the "best and brightest" of our generation. The future of this country is fucked.

4) If you are in a class, and you miss what the professor says, try to figure it out on your own before you ask. Also, trying listening: you may find that it helps in understanding what's going on. Before you ask a question, think to yourself: is this something I could figure out on my own? If it is, do it, and quit wasting my time!

It is unbelieveable to have higher degrees and still be so retarded.

But, besides those things, I am having a great day. More random thoughts:

1) I'm ecstatic that I don't look like a 12 year old boy with a mosquito head.

2) I am a workout fiend. Well, not so much. But definitely moreso than I used to be.

3) Sinus infection count 2006: 1 to date

Spoiled

I worked late many nights last week. Will definitely was working on his bonus points. He picked me up a couple times from work so I wouldn't have to walk back. On Wednesday, Will surprised me with a yummy dinner of chicken parmesean, broccoli and cheese, garlic bread, and my favorite beer (yeah, I know it's supposed to be wine but maybe I'm just not that classy). All that was missing was airplane napkins ;-)


Brings to mind the Joss Stone song:

I'm spoiled
By your love boy
No matter how I try to change my mind
What's the point it's just a waste of time
I'm spoiled by your touch boy
The love you give is just too hard to fight
Don't want to live without you in my life
I'm spoiled

Overworked, boyfriendless and rainy

When I started grad school I promised myself I wouldn't be one of those people who were there until 7pm at night.

That lasted all of 5 weeks. We have a contract deadline Tuesday and since my stuff depends on other stuff getting done, I got to stay pretty late all week. Yay me.

Collegiate cycling started this weekend, so Will is out of town this weekend... and next... and pretty much every weekend except the cruise and easter until the end of April. It's funny because when we first started dating I only saw him on the weekends. Spring semester I only see him during the week. I think I preferred the former, but probably wouldn't be thrilled to go back to that format at this point.

Today is yet another rainy Saturday. What is up with that? Yesterday was beautiful, but how would I know since I work in a room without a view. I have a long ride planned for sometime this weekend... but of course it's going to be cold, rainy, or both. I need to go anyway, though because next weekend I am going to go race with the cycling team at GA Southern and I haven't been on my bike for more than 25 miles in quite some time. Definitely need to rectify that before going to a 40 mile race.

No, the reason I'm going is not Will (I try very hard to not be like that), but I figure it's a win-win-win situation. I get to ride, they get a girl to race, and I get to spend time with Will. Although it's not really "quality" time. Should be fun, nontheless.

I've been meaning to sit down and write about the "Cartoon Controversy" but have barely had time to form my thoughts. Look for that soon.

Shout-out to my roomie Melissa, who got accepted to Georgetown, even though she thought she wouldn't! I knew you could do it!

Amazing

It's amazing how people slowly reveal their true character and personality through the little things... or, sometimes the huge things. I've also noticed recently how some people deceive themselves into thinking they are one way, when the world perceives them as completely different. I wonder what people think of me.

I'm incredibly blessed to have not just one but several "real" friends... not the ones that as time moves on you realize wouldn't put as much effort into you as you would into them. And I hope to always be thankful for that, because I realize I know many people who conduct themselves in a manner that suggests that friends, good friends, are easy to come by and just as easily replaceable.

Amazing the things you learn as life goes on.

Ticked.

Yep.

Tons of fun anyway, though.

Here We Go Again

I was on a roll... sorta. Sure, I hadn't been riding weekends (damn weather), and I missed this past Monday cause we actually had class for once, but other than that I hadn't missed a single spinning class workout since I started.

Here I am, because as usual this time of year my sinuses have begun to act up, and I woke up with the most awful earache ever. Since I know an expert in post nasal drip, I called my coach/emotional and mental advisor on the way to the workout.

In this day and age, and with such access to medicine and health care (sorta... and thanks to my mom's new job) there's no reason my lifestyle should be compromised because the plumbing in my head is messed up.

I will beat this (even if it means getting surgery)

And the weather won't stop me anymore, either.

Uphill, both ways

Being a girl is hard.

Being a girl at this school is even harder.

How do they know this stuff?

Me

Your Birthdate: March 13

You're dominant and powerful. You always need to be in charge. While others respect your competence, you can be a bit of a dictator. Hard working and serious, you never let yourself down. You are exact and accurate - and you expect others to be the same way. Your strength: You always get the job done Your weakness: You're a perfectionist to a fault Your power color: Gray Your power symbol: Checkmark Your power month: April

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Will

Your Birthdate: March 25

You excel at anything difficult or high tech. In other words, you're a total (brilliant) geek. It's difficult for you to find people worth spending time with. Which is probably why you'll take over the world with your evil robots! Your strength: Your unfailing logic Your weakness: Loving machines more than people Your power color: Tan Your power symbol: Pi Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Freaky.

Two of My Favorite Things

Will took me to an early Valentine's dinner at Canoe on Friday. Best. Meal. Ever. Even though I felt a little out of place. I had new york strip with mashed potatoes and cabernet. It was awesome. I finally found the perfect cow. For dessert we had this chocolatey thing called "Love Cake" that was just as awesome. Weird thing is there were some families there out like they were out for Friday night dinner. What do kids eat at a place like that?

My second favorite thing: the beach, the sun, the ocean. This past weekend Will and I booked our cruise to the Bahamas. I found a great deal through one of the many travel websites that I monitor. We're heading down to Cape Canaveral on March 22. Thursday we're touring Cape Canaveral in the morning then boarding The Fantasy and heading to the Bahamas! I can hardly believe that I'm so fortunate. It's even more exciting because we'll be at sea on Will's birthday, which quite possibly is the coolest thing ever.To all those who referred to us as boring: How do you like me now? Still jealous? You should be.

All Hurry and No Rest...

...makes Livia forgetful. Usually I am pretty good about remembering things (such as my keys) but I must have lost my mind the past few days.

Saturday night, upon my return to campus at 1am, I discovered that I had no keys. It occurred to me that in my hurry to catch my ride to the aquarium, I probably left them in my desk. One trip with Will to the ASDL confirmed my suspicions.

I forgot to take Elise's video tape back to her Friday.
For several days now I was supposed to bring in Friends Season 1 for Shuo.
I forgot my buzz card in my desk drawer yesterday.
I left my wallet in my room today.
I got my wallet... then I left my computer at work (in the drawer).
Just now, I discovered that my cell phone had fallen out of my purse and was still in the car.

I wonder how much time I've spent in the past few days making trips to retrieve the stuff I've forgotten. It's so frustrating because it's usually not something that happens to me. My brain function must be deteriorating. I'm probably just trying to fit too much running around in on too little time and energy.

But, isn't that how it always goes?

Siriusly Awesome!

I wasn't necessarily picky when it came to choosing the option for my new baby (yes, it lacks a name, just like my bike). No, I didn't really want a sunroof (hardly ever used the bug's), nope, a superly nice stereo wasn't necessary. Neither was a 6 cd changer (my ipod made cds obsolete). So, the one I ended up with is pretty basic. Manumatic (yes, I gave up manual driving cause of the darn city traffic and yes I miss it), air conditioning, power locks, cd player... all the stuff that's pretty standard. It was missing the essential tape player (used for ipod hookup) though. It did, however, have one thing extra though, that I thought I wouldn't use.

Satellite radio.

After doing some research on FM transmitters, I was disappointed. So Will said he'd buy me a month of Sirius satellite radio to try out. If I didn't like it, I could get a transmitter for my birthday. His Dad has XM, so he was convinced I would love it.

And, as much as it pains me to admit it, he was right (just this once, don't let it go to your head!) I haven't missed the ipod a bit. I can burn my favorites to cd in case I ever need to, but so far I haven't. In fact, it's so good I've really only listened to 4 of the 180 channels. What else do you need when you have 2 NPR channels, BBC world news in English and Spanish, 2 comedy channels (definitely my favorites, behind the news of course), Discovery (haven't even listened yet) and every kind of music you can imagine.

Of course, being the news junkie that I am, I doubt I'll get around to exploring the music channels anytime soon. Although I did enjoy some opera (Rigoletto) with my Grandma this afternoon.

Seriously. It's awesome.

Mother Nature Hates Me

My workout plan for this semester includes 3 rides a week (rides that I should never miss) and extras on top for good measure. That means 3 indoor spinning classes (Monday, Wednesday, Friday) and one day on the Silver Comet (Saturday). Two weeks about I made 2 spinning classes and a Silver Comet ride. Last week it was just the 3 spinning classes. I really want to go to 4+ a week...

Of course, the weather has been gross almost every Saturday. Mother Nature is doing it on purpose! :-p

Congrats to Jen S. for getting a new bike... and thanks for reminding me of the joy that I felt when I first got mine.

Now if only I could spend more time on it. :-p

A Change of Pace...

Normally I just use this for writing about what has been happening lately or what’s on my mind. Recently, what has been on my mind has been increasingly related with politics and current affairs in the world. I haven’t written much about that on here… not purposefully, but mostly because I haven’t had time.

Yesterday Elise said that she’s going to stop reading the news because it’s simply too upsetting. And Will says he doesn’t understand why I continue to read things that I know will make me mad or sad.

I will continue, because I think being informed is important. I think the beginning of making a difference is being informed, so I will continue. But, I’m going to post my thoughts here, as a way to vent a little of my frustrations and just make known what I think.

I already know, due to past events, that this is going to make people mad. I want to state right now that what I write here, unless cited, is my own opinion. As an A-mur-i-kun, and contrary to what many of our leaders would have you believe, I have the right to express my opinion. You, as a reader, also have a right to express yours. That being said, please leave any thoughts as comments, I welcome both agreements and disagreements. Part of being informed is knowing both sides of the coin. I don’t, however, want any comments having to do with whether it’s inappropriate to post my own opinion online. Sure, it can be insulting, but it’s a freedom that I am (supposedly) guaranteed here.

Along those lines I leave one of my all time favorite quotes from a movie:

“America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've got to want it bad, because it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say, "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil who is standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the 'land of the free'? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you can stand up and sing about the 'land of the free."

- Michael Douglas in The American President

P.S. I’m sure you can infer my opinion on the Jyllands-Posten Muhammad cartoons controversy. I find it incredibly amusing that to protest, they turn to violence. This also can be connected to my opinions on stereotypes and the fact that they are, sometimes, very accurate.

I think it was the car question

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

That surprised me, because I feel like I've been increasingly more girly over the past few years. But the car question must've done it... last time I bought pased on looks, this time on power (yay for my v6!)

Back In the Saddle

I suppose you could say I fell of the workout wagon. I was doing so well. I doubled the amount of miles I had put on my bike in 3 months last summer (as compared to 9 previous months of ownership). I was making most spinning classes.

... and then I got sick (again)... and didn't get well.

Now, 2 weeks after taking dramamine 3 times a day, I can say I've gotten back on. And it feels good. I was worried for a bit. I never had a problem with motivation, and all of a sudden I couldn't seem to make myself go. Thankfully, motivation wasn't the problem (it was taking sleeping pills 3 times a day).

I really missed working out, but riding my bike in particular. This past Saturday was a beautiful day and I really enjoyed the ride. Which has really helped me be excited about trying to get back to (and surpass) the shape I was in. It seemed like a daunting task, but I had forgotten how enjoyable riding is and how much better I feel when regularly excercising.

Now, my challenge is staying well enough and keeping my sinuses in check so that I can stay on the wagon/saddle.

Out With the Old, In With the New

At the end of Christmas break my Dad turned to me and asked if I could have a new car, what would I get? He told me to start thinking and crunching numbers. The Beetle was intended to last through college, after which I would join the "real" world, make some money and get something new. Well, my detour to grad school left two options: fix the Beetle up so that it lasts through the end of grad school, or trade it in for something new.

That got me to thinking. Man, would it be nice to have a new car. Plus, the Beetle needed at least $2000 worth of repairs... not including labor. That, along with the fact that it was only worth $3700 and nearing 100k made me start car shopping. My dad suggested a Mazda3, and I remember how well it did on Topsis, so I started there. I considered the 6 also, and started doing comparisons versus everything in the same class... honda accord and civic, toyota corolla and camry, ford focus, vw jetta and passat, etc etc.

I settled on test driving a 3 and 6 (but leaned more towards 6... I remembered how much I loved it at the car show), so off Dad, Will and I went to Jim Ellis last Friday afternoon. After 2 hours of test driving... first a 2005 4 cylinder Mazda 6, a 2006 Mazda 3 and a 2006 6 cylinder Mazda 6. I can now say that I understand why their slogan is "zoom zoom." Unfortunately, I loved the v6, which means bigger price tag.

I ended up getting one from a dealership my brother recommended. It's the first car where I've considered performance as seriously as any other metric (in fact, I chose to spend more for the nicer engine as opposed to moonroof and cd chager) and boy does it show. Everything I drive it, I smile. And it's not hard on the eyes, either.


One of the best parts, though, is that I totally did everything myself. Well, except for the male support that every girl needs at a dealership. It's only my name on the papers, which is awesome. I feel like such an adult... up next, a "real" place to live!

Plus, this car is so nice compared to my other one, it's a huge step up. I even forgot to be sad to part with my little Beetle... even after all we'd been through.

Some of the features I adore:
215 hp (makes it very zoomy)
6spd automatic... but still manual in a way
Climate control
Satellite radio (1st month as a trial, thanks to will!)
Auto-dim mirror
Audio control things on the steering wheel
Nice stereo system
Power seats
HUGE trunk!

and I'm sure I'll find many many more!

... ok, so I'm being totally superficial. Oh well :-p

Code for Dramamine

I was really struggling last week. Completely exhausted all the time, even though I am logging more sleep than ever (am actually logging... if I average 8hrs/night for 1 month, I get something from Will... that something tbd). I could've been so productive last week, but I found myself just hanging around, usually napping. I was confused about what it could be: Am I just burnt out? Depressed? Is Kristy rubbing off on me?

Then, on Saturday, a discovery. The medicine I had been prescribed to take 3 times a day for 2 weeks has a label on the back of the bottle (where one looks for instructions, naturally) that says "may cause marked drowsiness, do not operate heavy machinery." Today, when I was looking up what is in it to see whether I was eligible to donate blood and it's just generic dramamine.

Yep... I'm taking dramamine... all day long. Well, at least it's not something more serious.

This weekend was pretty fun... until Monday. Dinner, Friends watching, Jaime's graduation party, babysitting, Mansion party, Swim club movie thing. Then Will woke up sick Monday morning and shortly after Hurricane Bill (aka the roomie who flooded the apartment) struck and the rest of the day was spent cleaning up. I myself played the part of FEMA this time, except I was actually useful (retrieved my Dad's carpet machine from Dunwoody) and by the early evening we weren't splashing about anymore.

The Mansion party was pretty fun. Two guys on my fixed wing design team went along, which was surprising. I thought both the band and dj weren't very good, but the company was good and it was nice to see people I hadn't seen in a while. And, extremely amusing to watch all the "shenanigans" that took place. And they're on video.

And now it's the soggy start of another week and it looks like I'll be pretty busy, so I should probably get going on something... like taking a nap, cause I just took my medicine.

The Do-Gooder

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

I'm not sure about that example thing, but otherwise seems to be correct.

Grad School: Week One

Well, this week has been relatively calm, with the exception of some money stress (thank you Tech for not paying me for another month!) It really is extremely surprising, since unlike other more fortunate majors, AEs usually get slammed with reading and homework from day 1. None of this 'let's go over the syllabus and call it a day stuff.' And not this happened in any of my classes, but 2 of the 3 were cancelled this week. So it made for not only definitely the easiest first week I've ever had, but also one of the easiest weeks I've ever had at this school. Period.

Just in time, too. Because I am dealing with some serious lack of motivation, man am I burned out issues. This week did come with the usual what classes do I take drama. I signed up for fixed wing, adm 2 and design seminar like I was supposed to, but struggled with propulsion and spanish linguistics. I heard many bad things about propulsion, including that it wasn't very useful... plus it's Fridays 3-6, so the decision to not take it was somewhat easy. Although I still fear the wrath of Doc on this one.

Spanish was more difficult. For the first time ever I found myself dreading going to that class. Never has this happened with a language class before... not even when they were 3 hours long. The class I went to, Spanish Linguistics, is taught by a woman from Spain and sounds extremely interesting. However, there is a fair amount of work involved with the class, including a project that comprises nearly half the final grade. I just didn't feel like doing the work... which was really disappointing, because I try to never let that stand in the way of a great class.

But, after some chats with my favorite people, we all agreed that I should ease up on the course load to give myself time to adjust and to also recover from last semester. There you have it folks: for the first time since I can remember, I am taking the easy way out and not pushing myself.

As hard as this is for me to be ok with, I feel that in the end it will be the right decision. After being sick almost all of 2005, I'd like to focus more on myself and my health this year. That includes not having to stay up late to finish work, not stressing out so much, not running around like crazy, sleeping enough and excercising regularly.

Now if I could only find the motivation... Melissa is probably waiting for me to lose what she has to gain!

And so it begins...

New year, new degree, same great roomies! (Missed you girls, glad we're all back and I'm looking forward to hanging out... even though 'Mommy' disaproves of some things that transpired over break...)

So it begins again. Here's hoping this semester will be less stressful and more beneficial. And healthy. For everyone!

Yay to no morning classes!

2005: Year in Review

Taken from Jen Lee!!! (who is my most favorite internet person... both on flickr and blogs!)

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
Raced a bike. Graduated from college. Went to Chattanooga. Worked an 18 hour day.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

• finally finish my pilot's license - didn't happen
  
• get an internship - didn't happen either
  
• ride my bike a lot (get in shape) - sorta happened
  
• read my bible/pray more often - sorta happened
  
• be better about getting work done early - ?
  
• stretch at least once a day - sorta
  

My new ones will be similar and mostly health/athleticism associated, but they will have more measurable goals.

3. Did someone close to you give birth?
Nope!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope!

5. What countries did you visit?
It was a slow year for the countries... sadly... does south Georgia count as another country? Cause it sure does feel like one sometimes...

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2005?
Better friends.

7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 26 - 2 year anniversary
December 17 - Graduation!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Graduating? Getting a decent grade in aeroelasticity, surviving NASA's ESAS fiasco, racing in a cycling race (ok, only one event, but that counts, right?)

9. What was your biggest failure?
hmm... my several meltdowns

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
It was the year of the illness... 6+ sinus infections, bronchitis twice, almost caught pneumonia, my first asthma attack, ear infection, getting sick from flu shot and the list goes on

11. What was the best thing you bought?
my ibook! helping will get his digital camera, aquarium passes for the whole family, kaya's dollhouse

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Will. He is my rock and my sunshine. And deserves to be acknowledged for insisting that I call him at 330 am when I am having a meltdown... and that he helps me with just about every tough situation that I have

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
All those wonderful girls who turned out to be no different, the kid affectionately known as "biker-pussy" and mostly all politicians.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Eating out, gas, clothes... aquarium passes?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Spending New Year's with Will, travelling

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
hmmm...

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or hardened? happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter? thinner? who knows... :-p
iii. richer or poorer? poorer... til february, then richer!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
sleep, cycling

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
stress, procrastinate, stay up late, fluids lab writing

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
family and friends

22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
My love keeps growing... pretty amazing!

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Gilmore Girls!!! The Daily Show and The Colbert Report

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I wouldn't dignify them with hate, but thank you to all those females who taught me that women in engineering can be no different that your regular catty, two-faced, shallow high schoolers.

26. What was the best book you read?
Memoirs of a Geisha. Hands down.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
hmm... Lifehouse, Howie Day, Ludacris

28. What did you want and get?
The Friends 10 season collection, an awesome ring and a beautiful necklace. 3 great roomies!

29. What did you want and not get?
a bike rack for my car

30. Favorite film of this year?
Wedding Crashers

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 22 on March 13. That weekend was my first cycling race, and we went out to Mellow Mushroom with my closest friends. Then to ice cream. And actual birthday day was at home.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Less drama/disappointment.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Old Navy rocks!

34. What kept you sane?
Will.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Lance Armstrong.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I have to pick just one? All the corruption.

37. Who do you miss?
At the moment? my friends that all have scattered for the break...

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Melissa! And re-meeting Heather

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:
To not let people walk all over me. To choose to be happy and not sweat the smaller things.

What is going on?!?

Ok, so I just found out another set of friends got engaged. That makes 6 couples that I know in the past few months... plus the 2 that actually got married.

Is something in the air?

Converted.

I am a convert.

Meet Snow White. Isn't she pretty?

Merry Christ-makuh

I can just see the smoke coming out of Bill O'Reilly's ears. Christ-makuh? Certainly that goes hand-in-hand with his whole War on Christmas.

But the thing is, my little 5 person family (6 during the holidays when my Grandmother visits) doesn't have the luxury of spending Christmas with our extended family. The few that we still communicate with couldn't afford to come up here, and we can't afford to all travel down there.

So, it has been a long custom of my family to open our doors to anyone on all the holidays. I think this stems from our culture. Always the more, the merrier. Over Thanksgiving our house is opened to whoever didn't get the chance to make the trip home. This year it was Lucas, Heather, Christy, and Ryan.

For the past several years we have celebrated Christmas with our neighbors across the street, the Wolffs. We have known them for many years and consider them to be the family we have chosen.

One thing... they're Jewish. And we're Catholic. That means we don't even really say a blessing or a prayer before we eat. Yeah, ok, so what? Some people don't even stop and pause between all the shopping and bad traffic to think about what Christmas means or even to just be a little kinder. What does it matter if you ignore all the details?

It matters to me, though, and I think that's why we actually capture the "Christmas" spirit with our half Jewish half Christian celebration. What better than to spend time with the family we've chosen and to appreciate diversity and learn a little while we're at it?

Plus, since Hanukah starts today, this year we had potato pancakes too. With ham (it helps that they're mostly 'culinary' Jews). :-)

How's the family?

Wednesday, after running around for a few days trying to catch up on stuff, I headed down to Columbus to visit Will at his parent's house. It took me 3 hours to get there, thanks to Atlanta traffic, but fortunately I was entertained most of the time with All Things Considered (up to the point where it started repeating, anyway).

It's an interesting situation. Will has spent countless hours with my family. He is so comfortable with them (and vice versa) that it's ok to leave him alone with them at graduation or talking with my dad while I run errands with my mom (weird, I know). Not so for me and his family. In almost 2.5 years (Jan 26!), I've been down there maybe 6 or 7 times.

They're definitely very nice, but they don't have that friends are family mentality that my family does... most likely because they are blessed to have plenty of family around (a luxury the Carneiro clan does not have). Then there was the stuff about his mom disapproving. He says it's because she doesn't like anyone.

This visit was definitely the best. Perhaps they're becoming accustomed to the idea of me... hey, I think it's about time! Doesn't hurt that I try to butter them up with wine every Christmas. But this time, they had gifts for me too... one for graduation and one for Christmas.

I enjoy spending time getting to know his family. His brother and sister (especially his sister) have really warmed up to me and this time I even met one member of his extended family, one of his aunts.

But mostly I love the visits because I get to spend lots of relaxing time with Will in his element... such as building bonfires for us and his sister's friends to roast marshmallows and hot dogs... and drink booze from Boo's later after his parents have gone to sleep.

There was one hiccup this visit, though. Will agreed to go shopping with me Thursday since I didn't have time to finish everything on Wednesday. His sister went along and we grabbed some lunch. After lunch, Liz and I were in Bath and Body Works while Will was getting something in Bed Bath and Beyond. As we were walking out, they run into someone they know. Then someone's mother. Then I caught on... hey, isn't that Will's ex-girlfriend's last name? To help me confirm, there comes ex-girlfriend herself and another member of her family.

So that was awkward. Even more so for Will since he hadn't seen any of them since they broke up in early 2003. All I have to say is I'm really glad I fixed my hair that day.

I know girls who refuse to leave their house looking like bums, ever... I think I now know why!

Gradumanated!!!

Everything turned out fine with aeroelasticity (in fact, I pulled my grade up a lot, which surprised even the Dicky) and this past Saturday I walked at Graduation.

I guess with the bachelor's degree becoming what a high school diploma once was, graduation isn't a big deal to a lot of people. But, for my family, it is the culmination of the move away from our home country and family in order to have access to better lives. I actually at one point almost became really emotional. I have reports that my dad didn't cry (he did at the high school one). Who knows, maybe when I get my masters?

There are certain things that I will never forget about the event: the look on Will's face, the mayor getting the year wrong (and the idiot kid next to me agreeing with her... shouldn't they not give you a degree if you can't even get the year straight?), the man horribly butchering my name, crazy Buzz and how it looked to be in a white and gold balloon shower.

Afterwards my parents took us out to lunch with the Wolffs, Heather, Becky, Alden, Kaya and the Malloys at Maggiano's. Definitely one of the best meals I've ever had, made infinitely better by all my favorites there with me.

Later that night was my party at my brother's, which was lots of fun. I'm irritated because a good number of people who said they would show didn't, which wouldn't have been a big deal (because most of my favorites were there!) except that it made the keg unnecessary and even more irritated that some (ok, one) that were there shouldn't have bothered! But any, we played all of my favorite drinking games and the night ended with what I like to call "the Will show," this episode being about on-campus bedding and its similarities to a "fuzzy tampon." It turns out that he meant to say maxi-pad... hilarious!

I am just truly grateful for all those who helped me celebrate (Kristy, I know you were there in spirit!) especially Melissa, Stephen, John and Justin who all drove long ways and Lucas who delayed his departure.

As I look back on my 12 semesters (yep, it took 12!) there are a lot of things I did and wish I hadn't, didn't and wish I had, but mostly I am satisfied with my experience. And hey, hopefully getting my masters will be a shorter, funner continuation of life there...

I guess things won't be changing that much for me, unlike many I know who are moving clear across the country. At least not yet. For the time being (til May) I will live with my favorite girls, work at the same place (new desk though!), and the classes will be considerably different. Mostly I just know the time will fly by and before I realize it I'll be walking again... and after that time I won't come back for more! Michelle has already argued with me about getting a PhD... by I think I'm going to stand firm on that one. I could be persuaded to go for an MBA though...

My Growing List of Pet Peeves

For the past few weeks I have been compiling in my mind a growing list of the political/social issues that I stand for (and very often disagree with the government with). This list includes:

1) human rights abuses and capital punishment
2) the right to choose
3) gay rights
4) simultaneous tax cuts and education/health care spending cuts
5) health care

and the list goes on... and on... and on.

This article sums up a lot of how I feel recently. And probably written a lot better than I would write.

And...

I'm done!? Sorta...

Where has the motivation gone?

Invitations have gone out for the kick ass party... 1 week from today it will all be over.

Nowhere can I find the motivation to do the work that is left. I have been procrastinating like no other this week. Or, the past few. This was a rough semester, each week was crazy. Dead week has actually been not as busy (although still extremely busy) for once...

I really need to motivate myself because one grade actually matters. For the rest I try a little (between being sick and having no motivation) because for some reason I can't completely let go.

School Left:
1) Spanish presentation tomorrow (already finished, just needs to be practiced once)
2) Aeroelasticity project... more than half coded, coding needs to be finished, project written up
3) Aero final... Wednesday at 8am... I need to study my butt off for this one!
4) Structures final... ah... I'll try a little
5) Spanish independent study paper... needs a little background story, re-read the Gabriel Garcia Marquez story that it's on and write it!
6) Cats2 (graduate aircraft design class) presentation to Doc at some point

Wow... that looks like a lot. I probably should get going on that.

Hey Melissa... how about we cheer each other on?!? :-)

My (Lack of Good) Health

Will says I have been sick ever since he's known me (right around 2.5 years). I have struggled with many sinus infections, asthma, and various colds and flus since my senior year of high school. This year has been by far the worst.

In the spring I was placed on antibiotics 5 separate times for sinus infections. The last one turned into brochitis and a strong likely hood of pneumonia (I have to admit that the health center was very good about monitoring me weekly and treating what I had). Unfortunately these all happened right after my first cycling race, so that put me out of commission until the summer. Summer was ok (lack of things to be allergic to, lots of rain).

This fall I have fortunately only had 1 sinus infection (actually, it might have been 2... at this point it's hard to keep track). My allergies were the worst this fall. I've only struggled with excercise-induced asthma in the past. This fall I found myself wheezing after the AE stairs, walking to class, walking up the stairs to my apartment. I was put on an every day steriod treatment that helped immensely. I was just about to start back with the workouts when I caught a cold. It went straight to my chest, and here I am with broncitis... again.

Right now I'm just extremely anxious about getting back onto the whole workout thing. On the bright side, today marks the beginning of my last week as an undergrad. I was officially accepted to grad school on Monday. The offer I received was better than I expected, so that was exciting. I also will only be taking one or two class, so hopefully things will calm down for a bit.

I hope to sleep more than 5 hours each night, workout every day, read everything that I want to, and many many more things. Yeah... we'll see how it goes.

Oh, interesting news. It turns out Mike Griffin (or Mr. Gobble, as I like to refer to him) is giving the commencement speech this Fall. He's also stopping by the ASDL for a little bit, since we did all that ESAS work this summer. Should be interesting. Sadly, it means that we have to take down the huge picture of him and his gobble neck.

Good and Bad Things

"Bad things happening to bad people. Don't lie, it makes you feel good because it gives you a sense of justice, even though you know that life is not just and that true justice comes only at the end of all things. It also reaffirms that which you know to be right and good, like our own morals."

Yep, Melissa, you nailed it. I always feel bad because I feel good when I see people who were crappy to me or wronged me get some karma. But it's superly nice to know that in such a crazy world, some things still make sense.

Last night at dinner Will told me the most hilarious thing. I am so evil that I enjoy that. But hey, what you send out in the world will come back to haunt you, so if you've been walking all over people for a few years, don't be surprised if you have some "bad luck" for awhile. Although, in my experience these people don't actually realize that they are the reason they are having hard times.

Last week of classes coming up. The work load has been much lighter since completing the last fluids report. It's amazing how much time those suck up. I only have 2 presentations, a homework, and a project left this semester. Then 2 finals and a Spanish paper. That's like nothing! Which probably explains why I am so unmotivated. Most kids I know are having their last week of classes ever. Not me, I start back in January as a grad student. Although, to my knowledge, I will only be in one or two classes. Thank God, I could use a break! The stupid AE department still hasn't given me my letter, even though Lexie (the financial manager of the ASDL and a total bitch) called Dr. Jagoda and yelled at her. He attempted to argue with her about Dr. Mavris accepting me. I can't wait til all of the out of touch dinosaurs leave, then the department can actually try to be good. I don't blame those who run as quickly as possible after graduation. The ASDL is that department's saving grace, in my opinion (both monetarily and educationally).


I made an album of a lot of my favorite pictures of me and Will on facebook and it made me realize that we've had a lot of fun together, which is great! Not to mention one of my favorite dates ever last night. Too bad he irritated me this morning :-p

Heather and my brother had a good date, which I am excited about. I'm not interested in the details, though.

Ah!

Help, I've turned into one of those people who never update!

The past few weeks and weekends have been extremely busy. I have been making mental notes on entries I would like to write, but for some reason or another I never seem to get around to it. Now I suppose this one will be a big update in general...

The first I wanted to write was about hanging out with my brother. Will, Heather and I ended up going over to his place to watch the UGA vs Auburn game (yay for Auburn winning!) Will left earlly but Heather and I went to a bar he likes to go to (the name escapes me) where all the rich emory kids go. It was nice to not pay for anything all night. But what was strange about the evening was hanging out with my brother. Througout our childhood we had huge problems with each other, being that we have completely conflicting personalities and beliefs (which is part of the reason I think children are born with their personalities, because how could two such different children come from the same genes and environment?) Anyway, being that he has gotten his life together recently, and that (according to him) I have mellowed out, we have started to get along. It was nice to spend some time with him. For a long time I wondered if my little family unit would ever grow closer as expected with age, since there was always so much conflict between us. What's even better is that he will be throwing my kick ass graduation party!!!

I found out that night that his roommate has gone back to dating a girl I was friends with in high school. This is extremely depressing since she's not cool and he could do way better. But oh well.

The following weekend we helped Alex celebrate her 22nd birthday!! It was an awesome night. Dinner and sake bombs at RuSan's (I won! See picture of peenie man), Tech beating Miami, running around campus singing the Ramblin Wreck and the Thanksgiving party at Delta Chi with Indian Farts like the wind, turkey baster and ice luge shots, and that weird ass dance song that I've only heard there. My one complaint is that I need to find people who will stay out later with me! :-p

The two days before Thanksgiving were crazy. Thanksgiving itself was pretty fun. Kristy, Heather and Lucas came to stay at my house Wednesday and Thursday. Ryan came just for dinner, along with Becky, Alden and Kaya. We ate a lot, dipped fruit in the chocolate fountain, my brother got my (underage) sister drunk, and the dinner ended in everyone doing shots around the table. I love my family.

Alden got sick the next day and ended up in the hospital (stomach virus). Either I caught that or the cold they kids have had because I have been sick since saturday. Nevertheless, I drove down to campus Saturday night to go to the UGA game. It was a nervewracking game, and I thought the teams were pretty evenly matched. We played well, although I am still irritated because I think with good coaching we could be so much better! It was awesome to see all of campus excited, the stadium full and everyone waving their gold streamer pom pom things. Oh, and it was fun trash talking over text messages with my brother... until we lost that is. :-p

Sunday a bunch of us took the kids to the aquarium. My brother went just cause Heather went, which was cute and I hope they end up dating. Kristy also went with us, and Alden loved her which was cute. I enjoyed the aquarium even though it was so crowded, although I think the Chattanooga aquarium still competes with it (all the hype over it being the worlds largest and all that stuff...) although it was amazing to watch the belugas in their water ballet, walk through the whale shark tunnel, and to see the penguins. I think they could have more educational stuff, as well as more variety. The Chattanooga aquarium does a good job explaining and presenting all types of water environments from all over the world. But all in all I think the butt load of money that I spent on annual passes for my entire family was well spent.

Now there are two crazy weeks chock full of work left, 2 exams, 1 paper and then graduation! (granted I do well on the aeroelasticity final). I wonder if grad school will feel different...

Pictures to be posted when I get them...

My Life

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.7
Mind:	6.7
Body:	7.7
Spirit:	6.4
Friends/Family:	6.1
Love:	7.7
Finance:	7.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

One of my favorite things...

Taking a nap with my kitty curled up with me next to the fire.

Other favorite things (to be expanded on in the near future when the craziness dies down):
1) partying with melissa, alex, kristy, stephen, etc
2) when tech wins!
3) many others...

Random Thoughts

Many thoughts have been crossing my mind this week. I think I have reached my usual mid/late semester funk, where I am completely burnt out and uninspired. This time I have to keep pushing, although thankfully for not that much longer. Doesn't help that it's the time that I should get another sinus infection, although this time it seems to be going straight to my lungs...

The number of pet peeves that I have with the current government grows by leaps and bounds each year (or, more recently, each week). I suppose I should save my thoughts for a specific political entry, but the things that have disgusted and frustrated me recently are the torture thing, attempting to dodge questions, condemning people who disagree with you and many many others. The Daily Show this coming up Monday should be good, I wonder what they'll say about O'Reilly and Pat Robertson's comments.

I generally dislike the direction that this country is headed... the one where the rich are only concerned with staying rich, becoming richer and getting their friends in higher places; where people are more concerned with what they are wearing than the lives of others (great example you set, Brownie); where those who preach religion live the lives they condemn; and finally the in general feeling that many are out of touch, won't think for themselves and aren't slightly concerned about the politics of this nation or where it's headed. I believe that it is a citizen's responsibility to keep its government accountable. You can't do it if you don't know who the president is.

I love talking with my roomies, especially Melissa. Never have I met a girl on the same brain wave as me :-) You and I should move to Europe!

I've decided that I am not as mature as I would like to think I am. In fact, I'm kind of evil :-p I guess it's human nature though... I know many people who don't know who they are and don't understand that they control their own happiness and the power to change their circumstance lies solely within themselves. As I interact more and more, I realize how much I have grown in the past few years, especially in the knowing who I am and what I want department.

I'm extremely blessed to know and have Will in my life. :-)

I love the ASDL. Doc says I should be receiving my acceptance any day (they sent over the ASDL secretary to bully the AE secretaries and Dr. Jagoda into getting a move on accepting me). I love that the ASDL has the perspective it has about education, what kind of student is valuable, and the fact that it basically funds the whole AE department (eat that Dewey Hodges). I sit in my class and I realize that that's where I should be to learn what I need to learn in order to go where I want to go.

I'm extremely excited about graduating, specifically the part where my brother throws me a huge party at his awesome apartment. It will be a night to remember... or forget. :-)

Ok, I admit it!

I'm immature. I WANT to stoop! And be just like them. The thoughts always pop into my mind.

Can't I get bonus points just for being able to keep myself from doing that kinda stuff? Doesn't that separate me from them?

I hope so.

TGIF and Halloween 2005

Thank God this week is over! I try not to wish my time away, but I am glad to have a few minutes to just sit and breathe. The week still unded up being crazy , although things were shuffled around a little.

Thursday we had our Primer review with Doc. My group volunteered me to be one of the presenters, which added to the stress. Normally I don't sweat presentations (I used to when I first had to start giving them in Spanish but now that I am accustomed to it, the ones in English are no big deal), but Doc is extremely intimidating, especially since I still feel like I am validating myself. The presentation went well, and we didn't really get "nailed" as Doc likes to do, so I think we feel that it went well, although we could have added more detail to the content.

At least I had a blast last weekend before the stressful week. Friday night I babysat for awhile, then headed back here for our Circle of Death rematch. We actually made it to midnight this time! It was lots of fun (hey Melissa... any fun pictures to illustrate?)

Saturday my Mom brought Becky, Alden and Kaya down here to go to all the fun stuff before the game. It was so cute, they were so excited to be in "Buzz land" and to actually meet Buzz. Then instead of going to the game I went out with Alex. We battled Altantic Station to go to Old Navy, then I decided I wanted to go the the Halloween party so we went looking for costumes. Alex went as Britney, Will as some Crunk sort of person, and me as a Cat. Not really original, I know, but I had like 1 hour to shop. Then Will and I went out to dinner and the ballet and when we got back headed to party at Delta Chi with Melissa and Stephen. It was awesome (as all events with Melissa and Stephen and their friends are) and we stayed out pretty late.


Will, me and Alex

My Other Life

Saturday morning I returned to an email from Dr. Hodges post-poning the Aeroelasticity test until Friday, which means I can sorta breathe about this week now... and write in my blog!

Will agreed to go with me to see the Atlanta Ballet's production of Carmina Burana, which is one of my favorite ballets ever. We went last night (tickets were about as cheap as going to a movie!)
For those who don't know, from a very young age up until around the time I was 13 I was set on being a ballerina. That was my dream, my everything that I lived for. It started in Florida with a tap class. We moved to Georgia and I spent 1 year taking classes at a small dance studio in Dunwoody, after which a teacher sent me to try out for the Atlanta Ballet's Pre-Professional program. I made it and my ballet-filled life began. I trained hard, year round, all the time. Every afternoon my mom drove me downtown for class. I would get home late, eat, do some homework, go to bed, rinse repeat. I had no summers off. Instead of being a school during the summer, I went to ballet school. Dancing almost straight from 8-4pm, go home to soak my feet, get up the next day, rinse, repeat.

I adored it. There's just something about having complete command of your body, of pushing it to the limits, of expressing a million things through movement.

Carmina Burana was not the first performance I had been to since I stopped, but seeing my favorite made me yearn for my life (why... it was harder than this life I lead at Tech?) What hit me the most was seeing this guy... my 10 year old crush, a boy in my level at the program, he is now a soloist with the company. I couldn't help but think... if I hadn't stopped, could I have made it?

Two severe blows are what led to me stopping ballet. The first was not being graduated to the next level. The program had 4 levels. My plan was to spend 1 year in levels 1 and 2, then 2 years in level 3 and who cares how many in level 4. At the end of each summer there were evaluations. I was being evaluated at the end of my 1st year in level 2, I had an awful day. I was nervous, nothing would go where I told it to. I didn't get promoted.

Right around that time the company experienced a big change. Robert Barnett, the director for so, so many years retired... taking with him the rights to all the classical ballets (including The Nutcracker) that I hold so dear. The new director, John McFall, brought his own versions of everything. I was disappointed to not be doing Balanchine's Nutcracker because I knew (as a 2 year veteran of the production) that I would be up for a good part (quite possibly the part of Mary). They held auditions for the 'new' Nutcracker. This director didn't like my dancing, I was cut in the first round.

Not liking the direction that the company was heading in, I auditioned at many other places around Atlanta. Rotaru, several others. All placed me at almost the highest levels within their training programs. I knew I would outgrow those places in just several years; they weren't developed or challenging enough in my opinion.

It was dark that night, in the car on the way home. My Mom was asking me about what I wanted to do. I didn't want to join any of those other programs, they weren't good enough. But I didn't want to return to the Atlanta Ballet. Just like that, my dream was over. All the years of work, all the time, the thousands my parents paid for my training... all gone.

It was a quick moment, I remember my heart stopping when I said it. It made me incredibly sad. As I though more I decided it was a good decision. I, at the time, thought I probably had no chance of having a real career in dance (so few do) and I was lacking that natural talent. I could spend my time on school work, get good grades, make some friends, try something else.

So my next life began. I struggled with weight. Not having to watch what I ate anymore and lacking 4 hours of exercise a day will make you blow up like a balloon. I played on a soccer team. I tested into the accelerated track at my school. I did teenager things on Friday nights, I didn't go see the new production of the Nutcracker. Middle school turned to high school, high school turned to college and all of a sudden I'm graduating as an aerospace engineer from Georgia Tech... who would've known the little girl who had to have ballerinas all over everything would end up in something so removed from ballet.

As I watched my first crush dance, I wondered. His face and hair are exactly the same. He wasn't blessed with natural talent either, although he was better than others at the school. Today he is turning into a great dancer. Big jumps, fast turns, high lifts... they certainly did groom him well. I wonder, could they have done that for me? Would I be there, him lifting me, if it hadn't been for that late night so many years ago? If I had decided to stick with it, realized (as I do now) that spending two years in level 2 was perfectly normal...

... but then I wouldn't have my life that I have now. Time to spend with my family, Friday nights with an amazing man, great roomies, football games, a chance to participate in important studies that lead to legislation and decide how millions of dollars are spent...

I try not to regret my choices because every experience you have makes you the person you are today. I like who I am today, so changing any one moment would change me... who knows if for the better or worse. And I certainly don't regret my life now. I just wonder, could that have been me up there last night...

I think in the spring I will take a ballet class.

Checking out for awhile

Today the anxiety about next week sets in, so I'll be busy until next thursday at 6pm.

How come when it rains, it pours?

Our Primer for Graduate design is due thursday... we have no idea what to do with our open-ended project.
Probably a millions CatS2 (the name of our project) meetings...
I have a spanish presentation on tuesday
Fluids lab report due Wednesday
Aeroelasticity test on Wednesday
Two long spanish readings due Thursday

And of course work is crazy. There is a workshop next week plus the manhattan project plus a billion other things so Michelle had me running around doing random stuff today. Oh well, I guess that's what I get for wanting to be "essential." I bet the beginning of the week before the workshop will be nuts so I'm not going to even go in on Monday cause I only work 2 hours and I'm sure one of my many assignments would appreciate that time instead...

Thank God there is not structures 2 hw due this Wednesday. So basically I will be working non-stop til then... except with a little fun in between (like at our circle of death rematch tonight);-)

Random Thoughts

I think it would be better if for this semester the weekends would fall on Thursday and Friday... simply because I'm busiest up til Wednesday then it slows down. And usually too burned out to get much accomplished Thursday and Friday (although I try!)

Yesterday my mom brought my little cousins down here to see the "Buzz Store" (book store). I definitely have brainwashed those kids. They ran around excited singing their interpretations of the "Buzz song" It was too cute! I live for the time I spend with those kids...

This morning I overslept and missed spinning for the first time in a few weeks. I'm mad at myself, although I didn't do it on purpose. I think I may be coming down with something...

Dr. Jagoda sucks because I'm fairly certain he hasn't even looked at my application (much less given it to Doc) and I already had to tell them that I wanted to extend my housing contract. What is the problem! I busted my ass to get that thing turned in by the end of August and he hasn't so much as looked at it months later. If you're too busy to be the graduate admissions person, here's a thought: don't be the graduate admissions person! I hope it all works out...

Yesterday Dr. Doug Stanley, who is a Tech research engineer but works at the NIA, presented the ESAS (aka what I poured my life into this summer). He was the head of the study, which makes me wonder why we never heard from him before today. You'd think he would've been a little more involved...

He didn't have anything to spectacular to present. In fact, what he focused on, which is the architecture they decided on, we knew about in May. I was a little astonished that he would stand up there and lie about stuff in front of a ton of people... but then again, I guess I shouldn't be surprised at that. Dr. Kirby told us we weren't allowed to say anything or ask questions (cause we are all bitter and pissed) but a guy from the SSDL asked my question. Knowing that they had thrown all the decision-making techniques and capabilities we provided them out the window, I wanted to ask how they reached the decisions they made. Dr. Stanley said "we did trade studies and used matrices" by which I assume he meant someone other than him pulled something out of their ass and now the government will spend millions of dollars creating this stuff that isn't optimized while pertinent scientific research gets cut.

Yeah, Doug Stanely, your study was a real success.

Among all this I have learned something very important. None of my friends and co-workers will be truly successful in the AE industry, at least not the space side. Why? We aren't nearly ugly enough. What is it with those who work at headquarters having pony tails?

He ended his presentation by saying that many of us will get to work on ESAS in the future... to which I say I already did and I'm not exactly jumping at the chance to do it again.

In other work news the other thing that I've been working on is now turning into "The Manhattan Project" as Michelle calls it. During a meeting today she identified me as one of her 3 key people, and that made me glad. I like working hard and getting more responsibility.

Monday in Fluids lab Dr. Seitzman was quizzing everyone (as he does, since he loves the Socratic method). We were going down the rows talking about a turbine (something you should, at the bare minimum, be able to do after having jet pro). He reaches one Amanda Lowry and instead of venturing a guess she says "I just want to be a housewife." Crazy. While I think being a housewife is a difficult and respectable job, if that is all I wanted to do I certainly wouldn't be an AE major. And even if I really wanted to be an AE or engineering major, I'd put some time into it and learn stuff so that I could apply it elsewhere and not completely waste my time. In my opinion there are still valuable things to learn regardless if you care about how a turbine engine works or not.

So, while I'm on my soapbox...

if you don't like a situation, change it. Or, give changing it your best try. I think that is one of the things that separates children and adults. Children are helpless and can only become upset and whine about stuff. Adults have the power to understand the situation and alter it.

The end.

Fall Break 2005

It had been some time since Will and I had gone somewhere alone (Spring Break 2004, to be exact) and some time since we'd spent a good amount of quality time together. Fall Break was a perfect opportunity, so last week we booked a great hotel in Chattanooga with a package to visit the Tennessee Aquarium together. It was somewhere neither of us had ever been so we were really excited.

The weekend started with the (somewhat) annual party at my old work. Except this time I got to take Will with me, which was great. It was nice to catch up with everyone, especially my favorite Heather. Except I learned that you should never eat only tiramisu for dinner then drink two margaritas with a beer in between. Bad news. I wasn't really drunk, but my stomach wasn't happy.

We left early Saturday morning and got to Chattanooga around 1030am (after a really yummy breakfast at Cracker Barrel... the first time I had eaten at one.) We checked into the hotel (which was so fancy we 'checked' our bags til the afternoon) and headed on the electric shuttle down to the Aquarium. Turns out the tickets that came with the hotel package were "VIP" so we got to skip the long line and go straight in. The aquarium was really neat and the area of Chattanooga along the Tennessee River is beautiful. We headed back to the hotel in the afternoon, and after a nap we headed to a famous barbeque place where we had a great meal. We then headed back to the hotel, watched some movies and looked forward to a morning without an alarm...

...except that the hotel fire alarm went of at 915am. For a minute I thought I was back in my bed and the alarm was going off for 630am spinning. We headed outside where Will stood on the cold grass barefoot until the fire department came (yep, it was an actual fire). After they let everyone back in we headed to breakfast (also included in the deal) at the hotel's 4 star restaurant. It was possibly the best breakfast I've ever had.

We then checked out and headed to Lookout Mountain to ride the Incline Railway. I was pleasantly surprised by everything at the top of the mountain, including the Military Park that we spent a good amount of time in. After spending some time there and taking a quick drive to see Rock City we headed back home. We finished off the weekend by seeing Elizabethtown with Alex and Kristy.

It was a great trip and we promised each other to make taking a trip together someplace new a priority every year.

And now for pictures...

The Tennesse Aquarium

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Originally uploaded by aepilota.

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Originally uploaded by aepilota.

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Originally uploaded by aepilota.

Will with the Tennesse Aquarium in the background

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Originally uploaded by aepilota.

The Incline Railway (goes 1 mile, 72% grade at times)

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Originally uploaded by aepilota.

A view down the Incline Railway

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Originally uploaded by aepilota.

The entrance to the Military Park on top of Lookout Mountain

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Originally uploaded by aepilota.

My cutie on top of Lookout Mountain

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Originally uploaded by aepilota.

Us with the Tennesse River Valley and Chattanooga in the background

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Originally uploaded by aepilota.

New York Civil War Memorial

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Originally uploaded by aepilota.

I think if there were AE jobs in Chattanooga I would move there... there are bike paths everywhere!

I knew that already.

Pure Nerd
73 % Nerd, 21% Geek, 13% Dork
For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.

The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.

Congratulations!

Melissa would be proud!

You are a Social Liberal (70% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (20% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Next try:

You are a Social Liberal (68% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (21% permissive) You are best described as a: Strong Democrat Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

My Pet Peeves...

Hey Melissa, can you add this one to the list?

Boys (anyone) who complain about not being able to meet people... but they never go out. How exactly are you supposed to meet someone if you sit in your room all the time? Expect to run into the girl of your dreams wandering the halls? The internet? Yeah, right.

Oh, and if you do ever run into a girl... don't be surprised if she's umimpressed by you. There are a lot of smart, well-rounded, outgoing people here... how exactly does someone whose life consists of their dorm room expect to hold a conversation with a girl? I don't forsee her wanting to talk about video games/star trek/comic books/*insert Technie hobbie* here...

I know some great girls. It's a shame there aren't great guys to introduce them to!

For the Ignorant (That means you, John Loesel)

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/06/politics/06cnd-detain.html

"Defying the White House, the Senate overwhelmingly agreed Wednesday to regulate the detention, interrogation and treatment of prisoners held by the American military."

"More than two dozen retired senior military officers, including Colin L. Powell and John M. Shalikashvili, two former chairmen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, endorsed the amendment, which would ban use of "cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment" against anyone in United States government custody.It would also require all American troops to use only interrogation techniques authorized in a new Army field manual. It would not cover techniques used by the Central Intelligence Agency."

"Mr. McCain, who was a prisoner of war in the Vietnam War, added in closing Wednesday night: 'Many of my comrades were subjected to very cruel, very inhumane and degrading treatment, a few of them even unto death. But every one of us - every single one of us - knew and took great strength from the belief that we were different from our enemies.'"

That's right, that is what separates the good from the bad. It is about time they pass something like this. This is the United States, a country who should respect human rights.

To those who feel it is acceptable to mistreat other human beings: I think you should re-think your morals and values, because you are lacking some.

To the Football Team

Dear Yellow Jacket Football Team,

I have been a loyal fan since before I was a student. I have stayed up late and put off homework to cheer for you. I've rooted for you when you were behind, I've never been a fairweather fan...

... but now I am considering it. Last game you had an excuse, you were missing your center. There was no excuse this time. They didn't win because they were better, they won because of stupid mistakes and bad decisions. Two awful kicks and one horrible decision cost the game. You play in the ACC now, it is time to leave the mistakes and bad decisions behind.

Do you know how heartwrenching it is to be a fan? It is a rollercoaster. I no longer wonder at those who stay away or leave at half time. I thought it was disrespectful, but now I know they were saving themselves the disappointment.

I know that it is all mental and that you depend on the support of your fans, but now I am weary. I have supported you through thick and thin, and you have yet to show me the results. We cheered for you tonight until we couldn't speak anymore, and you let us down in the last 30 seconds.

I sincerly hope you can pull yourselves out of this rut. I am skeptical, you haven't been able to do this before. I hope this will still be a winning season...

You are all talented (except for the kicker). Over the years that I have been here I have seen you mature, especially Reggie. Now I want to see the results. I want to see you be strong, pick yourselves up, and play like I know that you can.

Your (frustrated) fan
Livia

P.S. I wouldn't mind a great coach who could rally you guys to win. Cause Chan Gailey isn't hacking it.

Fluids Frustration

Fluids lab is SO frustrating! Not the actual course or the material... I actually enjoy the subject, I think the labs are cool and the reports aren't as bad as I thought.

HOWEVER, my group sucks. Claire is in it, which is good. So is this kid from LCC this summer, who has actually turned out to be great in the lab (although he does have slacker tendencies). And that's the end of the useful/smart/cool people in the group. There are two guys that I know from work. Both waste time with stupid questions (things they would've known had they bothered to read the manual). One is never on time and has no clue what's going on. The other has no clue and likes to slow everyone down. The other is a jackass and on top of that he always messes up whatever he is doing.

It's irritating to know that people like that get by and will end up with the same degree as me. It's also not great that someday they will be out in the working world representing not only Georgia Tech but the program that I received my degree from. I find that personally insulting.

Thankfully we write reports individually. And, it's only once a week and 1.5 hours (usually). And almost halfway over!