And Then There Were Three...

My kitty Piper has been missing for three days now. Although she is naughty and doesn't like to come in when she's supposed to, this isn't like her. She was wearing her tags and searches for her have come up with nothing. Due to the proliferation of coyotes in the area, I have to think the worst.

I'm very sad. She was my kitty. When she was a kitten, her nose started turning black. Except it never finished, so she just had a dot on it. And one in the roof of her mouth. When I lived at home, she would wait at the door for me in the evenings. I would walk upstairs to drop my bags off and she would follow me. She'd sit on my lap while I sat at my desk working on homework. The opening and closing of the cd drive fascinated her to no end. She loved her little rubber ducky and would steal the stuff dinosaur from me when I made it squeal. She loved sitting inside of things: bags, boxes, drawers, her little kitty tent. She hated the kids and would hide from them. She liked to get dirty outside and often came in orange as opposed to black and white.
I'm going to miss her a lot. I wish we could find her tiny body so that we could put her next to Ringo and Einstein.
Now there's just Cougar, Sabrina and Sam. And Cougar's time, since he is 20 years old, will soon also come to an end.

Conflict

Why is it that friends are always at their busiest and most stressed when you need them the most? Is this another one of life's little cruel tests? Where is the line between asking a friend to be there and asking too much? Is counting on them a sign of trust, or a sign of being too selfish and demanding?

Is it fair to ask one friend to cancel on plans because you "need" them? What if the person they are cancelling on also needs them? How do you decide? What about asking someone to skip something they enjoy to keep you company? It doesn't seem like a huge sacrifice... or is it?

This week, these past two days in particular, have been difficult.

And lonely.

Blessed.

I am one very lucky girl. Here's hoping I can always remember that.

Weekend

Friday: Partying in Dalton, a night of several firsts (but I missed my party buddy)
Saturday: Pirates and dinner with some of my oldest, best friends
Sunday: Cookout, Indy and Nascar watching, tennis and pool time
Monday: Ultimate, cookout, beach volleyball, waterslide time

At this point last year I wouldn't have been able to play as well (not that I played well anyway) because I wasn't in good shape. However, I did struggle with endurance. I suppose being a sloth for the past few weeks and having lower energy than usual didn't help.

These are the kind of weekends I live for. And yet, it was still bittersweet. Not everyone who should've been there was there, and their absence was noticed by many.

Breakthrough

Today, I made a breakthrough. I had fun. Mountain biking. Yep, me. The one who doesn't like mountain biking.

Previously, mountain biking was really tough on me. I wasn't comfortable on it. It was really tough aerobically. My inability to get enough oxygen made me feel dizzy. All the exertion made me feel sick to my stomach.

This was my third attempt to get out there in two weeks. The previous two attempts ended up in me sitting on my butt in front of the tv. But today, I felt a little like myself when I woke up (despite waking up extremely late) so I decided to take advantage and get out there.

I took it easy at first. I thought it was an enormous step for me to just be out there in the first place, especially mountain biking. It's something that even at my best I don't ever really feel like doing. But everything lined up today and I had a good time. My mission was to complete the easy loop in 6 minutes. At first I just told myself that it was a big enough deal for me to be out there and that I didn't have to push if I didn't feel like it. But on my next turn out, I looked down and saw the time and all of a sudden the competitive part of me that had been sleeping for a few weeks woke up and pushed. I ended up finishing that loop in 6:27, the next in 5:48 and the last in 5:19.

I'm really proud of myself, to the point of being ecstatic. And even more excited to feel a little like myself. I'm going to try to grab on to that feeling and not let go. Part of me wonders if it's the new medicine.

To my mountain biking mentor: Your patience and advice helped me to have fun for the first time since I made the semi-large investment in mountain biking. I'm excited that my better fitness, ability to breath and effort have begun to pay off. But more than that, you gave me a glimpse at what I am capable of, at who I really am, and at this time in my life that is invaluable. I look forward to giving some back when I am better.

Update

The first medicine I tried made me worse. When I mentioned this to friends, they said it was obvious. It was not so obvious to me. I suppose I've gotten so used to not feeling like myself that feeling worse isn't really that noticeable.

In the past couple of days I have been able to get things rolling again, at least sort of. Instead of sleeping all day, I've managed to clean my entire apartment and organize everything for my upcoming move. I even went grocery shopping, which was a large task since it requires 1) leaving the apartment and 2) pretending like I have an appetite.

On the bright side, this is quite possibly the best diet ever. I'm an emotional eater, usually of the overeating type. Lately, even when I'm hungry, I don't feel like eating. And, if I wait long enough, I usually become upset by something else, which takes my appetite away. So now I'm probably eating normal amounts. Once again, the past couple of days I thought were getting better because I craved junk food and I way overspent when I went shopping because everything looked so good.

I can't wait to feel like myself again. I hate wasting the beautiful days, not making progress on my cycling goals, not being able to get up when my alarm goes off, not wanting to be social and go out (despite having friends who are social for the first time ever) and a zillion other things. I feel like almost everything that is me is different, even my neatness standards. It's like a haze of laziness has settled in.

It'll be another week before I can really tell whether this medicine is working, but I'm hoping that having the energy to clean is a good sign. I also continue with my new counselor next week, who I also believe is very promising.

Here's hoping.

Fingers Crossed

I interviewed at Delta yesterday for a fuel systems engineer position. I hope I get it. Everyone there seems very enthusiastic and happy with their jobs, despite it being a semi-high stress environment.

My theory is playing with airplanes every day makes people happy.

Benadryl

I had a dream. In this dream, I dreamt that our old, awesome kitty Cougar had died. When I woke up in my dream, my sister told me he was still alive. Then when I woke up for real, he was still alive.

When I told my parents this story, my dad asked if I am on something. Yes, actually. This is a direct result of the grass pollen and the fact that I am practically made of benadryl now.

I heart NIN

Though it comes as a surprise to some, Nine Inch Nails is one of my most favorite bands and has been since I've been about 13 years old. I always liked the attempt to innovate and go against the establishment.

But now they've gone above and beyond. The new album, Year Zero, is extremely political in nature. It tackles the scenario of a 2022 America without any freedom. And I love it.

Finally they've taken the next step. Finally all that energy goes into more than just being depressed (not that it was wasted on me). Now I remember why I've been a fan for so long. Not to mention that the album is awesome, message aside.

Read about it here.

Done.

My semester is over. I can't say that it ended well (my gpa will probably plummet), but I also can't say that I tried really hard. And this semester was rough on me and my motivation just wasn't there. So I'm just glad it's over. All that stands between me and my masters degree now is my special topics report and presentation.

Now hopefully I'll have time to catch up. Pay my bills. Upload the hundreds of pictures I've taken at all the cool things I've been doing. And, to write about them. There was Al Gore's speech, the Tour of Georgia, and Talladega this past weekend.

Today marked the beginning of Summer of Speed Part 2. It began better than Part 1 ended in the sense that I went on a group ride that I couldn't finish last summer and completed it. The bad news is I wouldn't have been able to without the help of others to pull me back up there. And that I thought I was going to pass out from riding at a heart rate of 190-195 for so long (my max is 198). It was discouraging because it is a "recovery" ride, but it is faster than any race I've participated in. We'll see how it goes next week.

Now it's time to go wash everything I took to Talladega and rehydrate.

Yesterday

Yesterday was the first completely good (bordering on great) day I've had in a while. Not many ups and downs, no crying spells. Man it felt good. Who knows if it's the medicine or my increased attention to my situation or both.

I'm shooting for 2 in a row.

Now Accepting Applications

"I think it makes a big a difference knowing there's at least one person in the world who has your back, no matter what. It doesn't have to be the same person for your
entire life, but everyone deserves at least one someone."
Everwood

I am now accepting applications for someone who is willing and able to fit this description, with an emphasis on the no matter what.

So far, I've been mostly disappointed by the people who surround me. Many have judged, belittled, made fun of me or have just been plain insensitive. Few have been understanding, patient, and accepting. This has been surprising, especially because of those who I expected more out of.

It'll be a long and hard road, but I have to believe that the ups will be better and more frequent than the downs. It just takes a little faith, some patience, and a lot of love.

Diagnosis

After trying since the beginning of this semester to see a counselor in the GT Counseling center, I finally had my first appointment this past Thursday. Diagnosis? Moderate depression.

There are many things going through my head right now. Why couldn't I have had an appointment sooner? So much would be better right now if I had. I am so full of regret and anger.

The diagnosis in ways has been good and in ways has been bad. Thank god this isn't because I'm a terrible person, thank god I'm not as weak as some think I am. But, on the other hand, I am that weak. And now this will require work for the rest of my life.

Most of my "friends" that I have told have made fun of me in one way or another. I can't blame them, because they don't see the symptoms. I don't show everyone the symptoms, because this will break the illusion of me being tough and strong. At the same time, though, it sucks. They don't understand or don't seem to be sensitive, which makes me feel lonely. And right now, I don't want to be alone.

They think I'm using this to get out of doing my work. Maybe I am, but at the same time motivating myself for every day is extremely difficult right now.

The one who does understand, doesn't want to sacrifice a little right now for better things in the future. That sucks too, but can I blame them? No. How much is too much? Well, I guess I am currently too much. Which helps the process right along.

Tuesday I go to the doctor to get my thyroid checked and to look into potential medication. I'm crossing my fingers about the thyroid, although according to a friend whose sister has similar problems, regulating the thyroid helped but still didn't fix it.

From what I've read, cycles can last for as long as two years. I don't think I've had major bouts that last for more than a few months, and even right now seems mild compared to the middle of Fall semester.

I'm tired and I want the easy solution.

Moral of the Story

I suck.

That is all.

Reasons I'm not a Pro Cyclist...

...and why I'm not sad about it.

Earlier this week I was planning a very long ride on the Silver Comet, perhaps the longest ever. This was a reflection of how much I've been enjoying the time on my bicycle lately and the desire to test my new abilities. Yesterday I canceled the ride because of the forecast weather... below freezing and gusting winds.

Now I'm sitting here inside, nice and warm, watching the coverage on NBC of the inagural US Open Championships. Those guys are riding in the snow today.

As much as I love riding my bike, I'm glad on days like today that I can opt out. Maybe that would change if I were getting paid for it... or maybe not. Hopefully that's not a reflection of my motivation, but a reflection of my desire not to suffer more than I have to.

Not to mention that I'm not nearly fast enough, but hey, that's just a technicality.

My Happiness Project

I have a new favorite website. Some of those articles sound like they could have been written by me. Anyway, after months of being down because of work and life in general, I feel like I'm finally starting to turn the page to a new chapter. Hopefully with the tips from that awesome site, not to mention other sources of help, I'll be able to make things stick.

Here's to my own happiness project.

Update

Back to Reality

Tomorrow morning I return to reality. I haven't been to the lab to work in almost two weeks (although, I did work on travel) and I can't say that I've missed it. In fact, returning from Colorado I was actually really sad and am even moreso now that I have to return to reality. Maybe it'll always be this way in life, or maybe it really says something about how unhappy I am with the status quo. April, however, should mark some changes or at least a slow down with contract work so hopefully I won't be too overloaded.

Past few weeks recap: fun birthday times, unfun trip to DC for work again, fun St Patty's day (although I regret not racing that day), and then one of the best trips ever out to Colorado for some skiing (more details about that later), and winning the beerfest beer pong tournament for Will's birthday. Good times.

24

This year I feel really loved. Best birthday (so far!) in a long time. Many thanks to all those who make me feel loved.

Chick Flicks

I just got back from watching Music and Lyrics. While the movie wasn't that good, like every other chick flick, it gave me the warm and fuzzies. This is why I think guys should want to go with their girls to these kinds of movies. I don't know about other girls, but they put me in a good lovey-dovey mood, and it'd be good to have boy around to lavish some affection on.

Since this isn't the case, the past few I've gone to have been with my good girl friends. And reaching over to hold hands with them isn't exactly the same thing. Will says that while my theory is good, it never worked with me. I maintain that it's because he always complained about them. No, she's not going to feel like snuggling if you're inspecting the theater for spider webs (this actually happened - just not to me).

I think I'll go snuggle with my bear now.

Uncharted Territory: I can beat people now*

So, this past weekend I went with the cycling team to Georgia Southern in good old Statesboro to do some racing. Racing for me has never gone well and previously my record is finishing next to last in 1 crit, next to last in 1 time trial, dead last in one road race and dropping out of a couple of other road races and crits.

I struggled with whether to go or not this past weekend and Friday night it seemed like I might have made a bad decision. I wanted to prove to myself that I cycle because I like it (and not for other past reasons), but traveling with a bunch of bitchy and disorganized boys tests my patience. But, my new mellowed out self decided to wait til the end of Saturday to decide whether it was a waste.

Saturday morning was the road race. 8 girls, including my new teammate Jenn. The 8 of us rode ttt style almost the entire time. My strategy was not to get dropped by the group. I was thrilled when I hit 10 miles and was still with the group (last year on the same course I had been dropped long before then, then I flatted). Not only that, but I could tell that I was stronger than some of them because my pulls were faster and also a little longer. By the time we turned for the last 10 miles it dawned on me that I was going to get to be a part of a sprint finish and I got really excited. I started thinking about where I wanted to be position wise and how I'd be able to make sure I hadn't just pulled so I would be fresh. We passed a guy who said the finish was a ways down and everyone just took off. I had fortunately placed myself in a good position, which managed to open me up and box in another girl. This paid off, and my new sprinting abilities helped me take third place (and I beat the much stronger UF girl, which was awesome)!!! I can't describe the feeling I had, but I can say it included an enormous goofy smile and a lot of emotions. This was a huge moment for me since I've always struggled when it comes to being athletic. It almost made all the crap that happens worth it.

Later that afternoon my new teammate and I did the team time trial, a first for the GT Cycling team. I really didn't want to ride it since I was pretty tired, but we did it for the team. I gotta say, I was pretty bored of the TTT by then, since that's all the road race was. Not only that, but Jenn died towards the end and I basically had to haul her back in. Regardless, we got a good time, almost the same as the A Vandy women, and I was impressed with how strong I am. I was irritated, however, that we had to ride almost 6 miles back to where we were parked. The boys went to go pick us up, but missed us so we ended up riding the entire way back. Very slowly.

The next morning was the crit, which I am not a fan of since they run all the women together. This pisses me off, but oh well. Our strategy was get lapped enough so that we get pulled (so that we could still get points), but then we discovered that they weren't pulling people. I was retarded and wasted a bunch of energy bridging a gap with the florida girl to get to the A women, which was futile since I can't keep up with them anyway. I stuck with the Brevard girl for a while, but then got dropped and grouped up with Jenn. Then we went back to the TTT practice, alternating pulls on each lap. My goal was to stay away from the slow Auburn girl, but that didn't happen and soon it was me and Auburn with Jenn out the back. Anyway, I did the bitchy thing and rode Auburn's wheel until the last turn after which I left her ass and beat her by a lot.

The rest of the team had a great showing also, which was really good. I really enjoyed actually getting to race, which was a first for me, although I know I will struggle on the hillier course this weekend. I am surprised and ecstatic at my own strength though, especially since usually after absences I struggle a lot. After this past absence, though, I've put in 5 really good rides, so here's hoping I can keep the momentum going. I think my body is finally adapting, as well as starting to look like it's adapting, so that makes me excited. I'm more motivated now to ride, but still unsure of whether I can commit like I did last summer. But it's good to know my Summer of Speed didn't go to waste, because it was rough and took a lot of dedication and determination.

Here's to not getting dropped this weekend and getting to sprint to a finish again... this time with spectators hopefully.

*Will's suggestion for a title, after being asked what I should call the entry about this past weekend racing. Other suggestions included but are not limited to: Going Slow as Fast as I can, Renovating my cottage of wattage and Using my cottage

Space Cadet

I don't know what is wrong with me lately, but I have been so forgetful. And I'm usually not. I usually pride myself for having a mind like a steel trap (not necessarily a virtue, as I have been told).

Today I realized I forgot to pay rent. Last week I forgot to go to a doctor's appointment. The week before it was homework.

This can only mean one thing: Either I've been killing too many brain cells or I'm in desperate need of a vacation.

Yay Again!

On Notice!

This is awesome.



I will probably continuously update as things piss me off.

Craziness

The craziness that is my life in the next few weeks.

Mar 3-4: Georgia Southern Cycling race
Mar 10-11: GT Cycling race (Newnan, GA)
Mar 13-15: Back to D.C. for work
Mar 17: UGA Race
Mar 18-23: Skiing in Denver!!!
Mar 31-April 1: Auburn Race

This doesn't include homework, tests, tutoring, fun, and my good friend Sarah coming for a visit.

History!

Let it be stated for the record books that today I, Livia Carneiro, beat one Will Evans, master of all things bicycle, up a hill. Strike that... up a few.

I made that hill my bitch.

The end.

Back in the Saddle... Again

This weekend was the first time I rode a bike in a few weeks and my first time outside on The Stig in over a month and a half. And, even though I suffered during and after, I must say, it felt good. I felt comfortable and at home and what's best of all, not too slow.

Makes me even contemplate giving up the fun lifestyle to work hard and be super motivated like I once was. For now, though, I'll just look to strike a happy medium. Which includes heading to Georgia Southern for a race this weekend, even though I probably shouldn't. This way, though, I know I'll actually get up and work out, as opposed to being distracted or lazy.

Stay in School!

It's nights like Friday that make me glad I stayed in school to make up for my previous lack of fun. The evening included drinks at Taco Mac, the Cheetah, and Waffle House. I'll probably never forget my first time in a strip club: girls dancing to nine inch nails, creepy old guys, and running into a guy I know. Even though I was DD (by choice... and I did a good job this time!) I still had an awesome time.

Por que?

I usually only listen to All Things Considered when I'm in the car, which hasn't been that often lately. But today I had the chance, and it was one of those days where they had a story that really moved me (almost to tears, which is bad in traffic).

Read about it here.

It begs the question: These teenagers are suffering... for what?

Spring Break

I just bought plane tickets out to Denver for the week of Spring Break. I'll be visiting an old friend in Breckenridge and doing some skiing on real mountains.

It won't be a traditional spring break type trip, cause we had a hard time finding people who wanted and/or could afford to go. I'm sure we could've gotten a group for a cruise, which is much cheaper, but my thoughts were been there done that.

I'm excited, it's my first time out west!

Home sweet home

I am glad to be home. I missed my own bed...

I think I would've been glad to come back thursday night. Not that I didn't have fun, just that there's incentive in coming back.

And I kinda like that.

Ice Ice Baby

The lovely person I am sitting next to just informed me that I haven't updated. So there.

D.C. so far: very icy and too much working but now yeungling, should've brought my snow boots, cold!, yay for watching the daily show, boo for watching grey's anatomy

upcoming: shopping, sightseeing, partying

Leaving... Again

Tomorrow marks the beginning of some more traveling for me. This weekend I'm headed to Sugar Mountain in North Carolina to do some skiing. It was a last minute thing, but I'm really excited and really glad I found some people who were willing to take a little trip!

Tuesday evening I leave for Washington D.C. I will be in Triangle, VA Wednesday and Thursday helping at a workshop for ONR Logistics. The rest of the team is set to return Thursday evening. I booked my return trip for Saturday afternoon, so as of Thursday evening I will be enjoying all D.C. has to offer with my soulmate Melissa and my good friend Cameron (who happens to be throwing a large party that Friday night!)

I won't return to work until Tuesday, Feb 20 because I've been invited to participate in Lockheed's Engineers Week Girl Scout workshop by the woman that I did some contract work for last fall. I'm excited, it's slightly reminiscent of the recruiting I used to do at Tech for girls.

Hopefully this little "break," even though it includes hard work, will help deal with the severe burnout I'm feeling at work lately.

Oh, yeah. And Valentine's Day is somewhere in the middle. :-)

Younger!

I was reminiscing (aka reading old posts) and came across this quiz so I decided to re-take it. Last time I got 30! I'm younger, yay!

Before I really liked being "more mature" than everyone, but I'm definitely digging the mid-twenties right now.

You Are 26 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Something New

I have a ticket to this year's Nascar race at Talladega. I'm really excited... it's been described to me (and confirmed by pictures) as a "Redneck Mardi Gras." I've never been to Mardi Gras, or a redneck event for that matter, so it should be interesting.

It's time like these when I see how much I've changed over the past few years. Or, at least my perspective of things has.

Lonely

"I think it makes a big a difference knowing there's at least one person in the world who has your back, no matter what. It doesn't have to be the same person for your
entire life, but everyone deserves at least one someone."
Everwood

My someones have often turned out to be no-ones, and that really sucks. The bright side is that I'm used to being "independent" and being able to take care of myself. That's a good thing, right?

Recap

Thursday: Flight to CT delayed for 3 hours, but there's snow on the ground when we land! I am astounded by my own patience. Not everyone was content to be sitting in the airport and waiting for so long. I enjoyed the time to myself.

Friday: The North... there are yankees and no sweet tea but this seems balanced by the abundance of microbrewerys. Everytime we pass a bar or pub we yell out "beer!" It's good to spend time with people who really know you. Successul outlet shopping excursion, quick view of Long Island Sound, beer and Pride and Prejudice round out a great day.

Saturday: Cold like I've never been cold before. The Mohegan Sun casino... the most extravagant place I've seen besides Atlantis in the Bahamas. Sad that I am too poor and too scared to play the table games, but probably good since I already lost so much at the slot machines. Casino buffets really are that good.

Sunday: Skiing! I was surprised that I was able to still do it... sorta. Still needs some brushing up. I can't wait to go again. Seeing 3 female engineers trying to learn to ski was possibly one of the funniest experiences of my life. Wish I had time to take a shower before my flight back. Saying goodbye was sadder than I thought. Back around 930... still no on-time flight.

Monday: Slept from 1-330am (ok, so the late bedtime was my own fault, but totally worth it). Back to the airport at 5 for my 630am flight to D.C. This flight is also late... because of snow in D.C.! Beautiful landing at Reagan with a view of the Capitol. The cold doesn't seem so cold after Hartford. All day meeting, then too many beers at the bar with the boss lady and a tipsy ride back to Atlanta. Sad to be so close to seeing my soulmate yet so far! Back at 8pm, the first of my 4 delta flights that is close to being on time... I should go to bed, but I go watch indoor soccer instead.

Tuesday: After doubling the amount of sleep I've gotten since Saturday night (but still only getting not even 6 hours), I can't remember for the life of me why I've set my alarm for 5:45am. Oh yeah... I have a 7am meeting. This new leadership role seems like it's going well. First I make coffee, then get donuts, then make more coffee, then find I'm paid less than a person who is now technically lower on the totem pole. I remember why I don't want to stay there.

I'm glad to be home.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Tonight I fly to Hartford, Connecticut to visit one of my best, longest friends from undergrad, Sarah. It will be my first trip on a jet since 2004 and my first trip alone in quite some time.

I'm excited to see her and to travel. I'm hoping to get to go skiing, to the casino and definitely hoping for snow! I'm a little sad to miss the weekend here but I know I'll feel better when I get up there.

Last Semester?

And so another semester has begun. This one, like the majority of my other grad school ones, should be easy. I have three classes: Human Decision Making (an IE elective), design and analysis of experiments (an IE course to satisfy a math credit... but I already learned this stuff) and special problems, which has to do with the decision making and my contract work. All in all, I have class from 3-6 on Monday and 3-430 on Tues/Thurs. By far the easiest schedule yet.

Whether this is my last semester of taking classes is still up in the air. Each day I go back and forth on the PhD thing. I aim to land on no PhD. Seriously, spending all of my 20s in school doesn't seem that appealing. Being compensated accordingly for my work does. Leaving all my work from the past 3 years doesn't. I intend on using the theory I learn in my decision making class to help with this one.

I leave on Thursday of next week to visit my good friend Sarah in Hartford, CT. This is the first trip I've taken on my own in a while. I'm excited to go see her, but a little sad to miss out on all the fun I've been having here. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to make the most of my upcoming fun here :-)

YAY!

That was an awesome game to be at.

Ringing in the New Year

With a ringing headache and a hangover. In a break from the past few years, I went out to a cocktail party at a friend's house. It was a great time, although I had way too much to drink and ended up being sick for the first time ever. In the middle of the street. Good times.

I did spend today how I intended. Hungover and watching football. Started with the Outback Bowl, then the Gator Bowl, then the Rose Bowl. Only the Rose Bowl ended up the way I wanted. And, even though Tech lost, I thought they played extremely well, especially when compared to the past few games. I heart Taylor Bennett and I'm looking forward to seeing him play more!

Tomorrow it's back to work... boo.

2006: Year in Review

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
Went on a cruise, road tripped to a football game, partied a lot, travelled with the cycling team

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I can't find this year's resolutions anywhere, although I'm certain that riding more and losing weight were included, and if that's the case then I was mostly successful!

This year: stress less, lose the last 10-12 pounds, put myself first, do all those things I've always wanted to

3. Did someone close to you give birth?
Nope!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Does my kitty Ringo count?

5. What countries did you visit?
Bahamas

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2006?
Better friends.

7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
hmmm... none really stand out right now

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
2 semesters of straight As? Got my first car all on my own!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Letting it all get to me again. Not being happier.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I sprained my ankle on the cruise and had surgery on my sinuses.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
2 new bikes, a bike rack for my car, a new digital camera, miscellaneous other bike stuff (to total an exorbitant amount of money)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Will, as usual. He is the best person I know.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Princess Yak and my dear roommate Alex Kennedy the girl

14. Where did most of your money go?
cycling, drinking, going out

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
meeting all the newbies, going out a lot, New Years (ok, hasn't happened yet, but I'm excited!)

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
Luda's Money Maker, Lostprophets' We Still Kill the Old Way

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or hardened? happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? 15 pounds thinner!!
iii. richer or poorer? richer!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
sleep, ride my bike, party, enjoy life

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
stress out, work

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
family and friends

22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
No.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Top Gear, Colbert Report, Daily Show, Ugly Betty

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
hate is a strong word, and I don't know if anyone affected me enough to merit that

26. What was the best book you read?
The Devil Wears Prada. I didn't read that much this year. Currently in the middle of Life of Pi

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Lostprophets, more hip hop

28. What did you want and get?
new bicycle, new earrings, a racquetball racquet

29. What did you want and not get?
One of those ipod alarm clock things, extension cord thing for the ibook... I was very fortunate this year

30. Favorite film of this year?
V for Vendetta

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 23on March 13. Went out to Cheesecake factory with various people. Jocelyn surprised me at the Tech race with brownies. Hoping to have something not as low key this year.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Reaching the point I'm at now much earlier in the year

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
More effort!

34. What kept you sane?
Will. Coffee.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
George Hincapie (ok, so no one knows who he is), Barack Obama

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Argh... again, there are too many to list. I'd say voting, the war in Iraq, the current state of the system here.

37. Who do you miss?
My soulmate Melissa, my friend Sarah

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I adore all the newbies who break the tech mold, especially the one from TN

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
To put myself first... I can't take care of anyone else if I'm not taking care of myself

So it continues...

Now that my hair is back to a normal-ish color (still a little dark, but the soft permanent will begin to wash out), I have a terrible hair cut.

I went the other day to Hair Cuttery, because I was trying to save money. I asked for shoulder length hair with long layers, and instead I got something somewhat resembling the whole Friends hair craze thing. I've had this haircut before... it's equally bad the second time around.

Conclusion: there are some things you shouldn't try to save money on... hair is one of them

We'll see whether going to a real salon and begging them to fix it will work, although I doubt they'll be able to do much since it's already so short.

Hair Fiasco

I was attempting to dye my hair close to its natural color (so that I could quit messing with dye) but the dye I used was bad and I ended up with almost black hair... and not uniformly so. Although, it wasn't too noticeable, but I didn't like it.

I am currently mid-second attempt at making myself a brunette again. The first time I tried to lighten it with permanent dye, that didn't work. Now I'm trying to "strip" the dark color, then use a soft permanent to give me a normal brown until my natural color grows back in.

Here's hoping it works and I can quit spending my hard earned money on hair products.

Time flies...

...when you're busy. And when you're having fun! So, the semester ended, not a moment too soon, and ended very well. I was able to pull off straight A's among all that contract work. Not an easy task, and I'm glad it's over with.

After my final Wednesday we went to Sweetwater to celebrate. And again Thursday. Even the Sweetwater people commented about us being alcoholics. Oh well. Friday I threw an end of semester party that was a lot of fun. Since then, it's been out and about basically every night to catch up on the fun until the end of this week, with a little work thrown in during the day.

Now I'm glad to be sitting still for the first time in a long time and to have a moment to myself with my thoughts. Although it's bittersweet, because I already miss people who are gone. I still have a lot on my to-do list for this break, although I doubt I'll accomplish much of it. Among other things, I need to clean out my car, upload a ton of pictures, get a haircut, finally get my spa sydell massage, organize a ton of paperwork, and do some fun and not-for-fun reading. I also want to do something active every day, whether it's cycling, running or playing racquetball. We'll see how it goes.

I can't wait for everyone to come back!

YAY!

Excellent game, even though the refs were crappy.

Finals Week

Hours at the Lab
Sunday: 10am-930pm
Monday : 730am -830pm

Coming up
Wednesday: ADM Final (must get extemely high grade), some contract meeting, Sweetwater!
Thursday: 6:30am meeting at Lockheed Marietta (that's going to be a fun one), but done!

Friday: end of boot camp celebration!

Lush

We hit up Buckhead Friday night.

Saturday morning I woke up and found my shoes in the kitchen sink.

I love my life.

Not Enough Hours in the Day

Too much going on, not enough time!!

1. FWD test Friday
2. Navy meeting stuff due Friday
3. ADM Report due Monday
4. Navy meeting Monday
5. IPPD Presentation Tuesday
6. Lockheed Thursday
7. IPPD Report Friday
   

Then done! Except for the fact that I have to work until Dec 21st. Joy.

Happy, though. :-)

Weekend

Awesome weekend. Despite the football team's suckage.

Flying (I miss it!), extremely shady hotel, and lots of alcohol... very memorable.

pictures. :-)

HOLY CRAP

I dropped the ball tonight, got in over my head and we got pulled over after moondogs. Thank god for Danny! He is my hero! He passed all the sobriety tests, including breathalyzer, with flying colors! Without him, we'd would have been screwed.

Not really sure how I'm going to make it up to him yet. Suggestions?

Definitely oa fun night, though!

Stress

Stress from everywhere. I am amazed by how one simple little thing can make me smile for so long, but turn everything upside down at the same time. I'm used to the emotional rollercoaster, but being high and low at the same time is weird.

I bought sleeping pills.

Thanksgiving in Review

I should be studying, so I suppose this is as good of a time as ever to update/outline Thanksgiving "break."

• Watched Tech bball
• Hosted 12 people at my parent's house for Thanksgiving (Mom is out of town)
• Watched lots of football
• Went to Circuit City to get a new camera at 5:30 am
• Was successful but I swear I'll never do that again
• Missed my entire first week of training (whoops )
• Went to my 5 year high school reunion
• which went better than I expected and
• was at C.J.'s Landing, which Kristy always wanted me to go to (but, sorry, Kristy... it was too smoky and not that great!)
• all the girls look awesome while
• all the guys look gross
• and high school would've been better if alcohol had been involved (well, at least on my part since I know most of those people were already involving alcohol, among other illegal activities)
• Watched the Georgia game at Melissa's house with her family (YAY!)
• Have another reason to detest Reggie Ball
• Went out afterwards, which was fun despite the fact that I was hoping for some more fun ;-)
• Got to see Alden and Kaya for the first time in a while

As far as my quarter life crisis is concerned, I actually was becoming more comfortable with some decisions earlier in the break until some people/circumstances made me once again second guess myself. I'm being purposefully vague, some because a lot of it isn't appropriate for here, and some because I have no idea what's going on in my mind. And that's the scary part.

Now it's back to the real world... two tests this week, with basketball before and Jax trip after. Hopefully Wednesday and Thursday will pass quickly! Now, if only I could motivate myself to study.

Opposite Land

I suddenly find myself in opposite land. I am second-guessing my second-guesses.

Things are so crazy I think I actually mentioned "my thesis" today. Weird, right?

Upcoming:
11/22: FWD Project due (I am almost done, I swear!)
11/29: ADM Test
11/30: IPPD Test
12/2: ACC CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!
12/4: ADM Presentation
12/8: FWD Final
12/11: IPPD Presentation
12/11: ADM Project due
12/12: IPPD Report due

Not only that, but I'm the point (wo)man on our Lockheed project and we have several deliverables coming up. And the bazillion other contract projects going on.

Looking forward to GT-UGA and seeing my soulmate Melissa!!! I'm hoping that our souls being in close proximity will help soothe mine.

???

Awesome night. Serves to confuse me even more.

Road Trip!

I got a ticket for the ACC Championship game in Jacksonville on Dec 2. I am so excited! I probably shouldn't go, since the week after all of my major projects for the semester are due, but I've decided to anyway. It's part of my quest to have normal college experiences, even though I'm technically not in college, at least according to Facebook.

I'm a little hesitant cause they don't usually win the big games that I go to. Or is it that I go to the big games that they don't win? Either way, most of my favorites are going, which means it should be a good time.

And it'll be my ray of light amidst the darkness that is the remainder of this semster.

The Dooce

Put better than I ever could myself.

Missing My Camera

I have misplaced my camera. I've never lost such an expensive item, so I'm a little distraught. I was in the market for a new one soon anyway, but I still would like to have that one back.

I last remember using it at the Malloy's house. I was taking pictures of Colin while he was doing his Science "Expo" experiment (alka-seltzer rockets) that I was helping him with.

But, mostly I miss it because I wish I could've take a picture of the tv screen last night. While flipping through Comshitstic's guide, I noticied showtime was playing The Passion of the Christ.

Immediately followed by what I'm sure is an oscar winning movie entitled Amy's Orgasm.

My Mom and I enjoyed a long laugh.

Results

The wonderful wonderful Mark Taylor will not be the next governor of Georgia. Instead, the citizens of Georgia have elected to keep as governor a man who has passed laws to make himself richer (quintessientially republican) while reducing Hope scholarship. I've said it once, I'll say it again. Don't mess with me and education, particularly paying for it. Without Hope me and a college education might not have happened. It would benefit Georgia to continue to attempt to educate the many young people of this state.

Fortunately, it seems like Georgia is an anomaly and most other places in the country are flipping. It begs the question, why is Georgia bucking the trend? Lucas believes it was rigged, and that is certainly a possibility. It probably is more likely due to the closed-mindedness, backwards, antiquated notions of many Georgians that I know (my father included). Can we say that this surprises us, from the state with a hunting and fishing amendment (which passed at 90%)? Seems like the little flag to get conservatives out to vote worked. Way to go, politics.

The only state in the nation. Wish I could say I am surprised. Way to go, Georgians.

I am so sad. But not nearly as sad as I was when Bush was re-elected.
Here's to the Senate going the same direction the House did (woohoo!)

Voting in my Household

I'm Satchel, my Dad is Bucky.

Suffrage for Livia

Today was a big day (see also: upcoming post on surgery post-op).

I voted for the first time ever. I became a citizen last year, and sure I could've voted in the primary (but I didn't/still haven't got my voter info and thought I wasn't registered!)

I was very emotional and excited. This was surprising, because even as recently as the beginning of college I was very apathetic about politics. I was apathetic because I disagreed with everything. Now everything I disagree with makes me so upset that I have no option but to get up and try to do something about it, be it trying to get people to vote, getting those who don't usually read up on news and politics to do so, or just getting out and voting myself.

I went to a church up the street (from my parent's house in Dunwoody, where I am registered, ) which is kinda funny because my neighbor across the street votes at the high school and my dad votes at another church because he never changed his address to our new one (even though we've lived here for almost 6 years.)

My dad has been bugging me about this election for a few weeks now. A Bill O'Reilly watching, Rush Limbaugh listening conservative republican, he and I don't generally see eye to eye when it comes to politics. This morning as I was leavning, he told me that if I voted Democrat then he would leave me out of his will. I did anyway. I think it's funny that he's thinks the way he does, because he's not a rich old white man and we came to America for all the "freedom" that you get here, which includes making up my own mind and voting for whoever I want. Plus, there's not much in his will anyway (it would probably be a little better if the whole republican thing were working out for him.)

I went in, there were no lines, it was relatively easy. I was a little bothered by the whole thing, though. The Diebold logo everywhere made me feel a little sick to my stomach, especially since there was no option to print out my result. I checked my answers over and over. Looked ok, but who knows what happens in those machines.

I put a lot of time reading into the candidates and issues and even printed up my cheat sheet including reasons why to take with me. I recommend the AJC's voters guide. In general I am no fan of the AJC, but I must say they did a great job presenting the necessary info in an easy to browse manner. Much better than opening each single candidate's webpage. At one point Firefox was tired of have 30 tabs open, so thanks AJC.

The offices I spent the most time on were secretary of state and school superintendent. I wanted someone who would guarantee a paper trail. The democrat did but the republican wouldn't come out and say it, although she championed herself for being the only one with a "plan" (that was incredibly vague and didn't have many action items) for voting procedures in Georgia. For school superintendent I went with the liberterian. I know, of course, that this splits the vote from the democrat and that the republican incumbent will most likely be re-elected, but he was the only one who had clear action items that I agreed with and also wanted to make the position appointed so that it could be bipartisan in the future. To run for an office and want to get rid of it? That takes balls. The governor was a no-duh for me. Not only does it seem that good ol' Sonny is a little dirty, he never really made points in debates versus Mark Taylor. Not only that, but he's always been reducing Hope scholarship. Funding for education is a big one with me. Reduce it and you're on my bad side (hear that, Dubya?) I actually did vote for one republican, for the office of labor commissioner. He had it way more together than the other guy, plus he was a Tech grad.

I also considered the constitutional amendments and referendums carefully. Except for the whole amend the constitution "to protect the traditions of fishing and hunting." Seriously? You know you live in Georgia when...

Jen Lee spoke of the election on her blog and mentioned that California recommends voting absentee so that you get a paper ballot. I've been told by others that while this is true, sometimes the absentee ballots don't get counted (although illegal) unless it's a close election. This wouldn't surprise me in this state. So, what does one do? Go the day of and leave the fates to Diebold, or, vote absentee and risk not being counted at all?

All in all, I suppose I'm excited to participate in the government of this country (that sentence was really hard for me to construct without being negative about the government or the direction of the country, by the way). I look forward to doing it in '08.

Except then my vote really won't count, thanks electoral college and red state.

Halloween

This year I got more into it. Thanks to a wig on loan from Will's mom, I went as Hillary Clinton . Will went as a NASA nerd from the 60s. It was a good costume, I stood next to a friend for about an hour before she realized it was me. And many people thought I should cut my hair short or go blonde... yeah, right.

One thing, though. Based on commentary I received, Hillary's got an uphill battle if she wants to be the next president. Many people weren't exactly fans... As one of my buttons stated, I like to think of it this way: Bill for First Lady '08!

Other costumes that I really enjoyed: our friends Kevin and Chris as K Fed and Britney Spears, Peter Barros as Muhammed (he has a big beard, wore a courduroy robe thing, had bottle rockets all over including in his beard and carried a rocket that he kept firing at people), some random people as Bob the Builder and Bob's female friend (I think her name is Wendy... not many people understood this one, I did because I watch kids a lot), Ryan as Indiana Jones, Chet as Richard Simmons, Reuben as Hulk Hogan, J.T. as Jesus (always a classic), Mario, David as the guy who stole his car, Hernando as a Colombian drug lord (who would've guessed?) and many, many others. Good times!

Surgery

Tuesday was my surgery. After a quick meeting that I was useless at at school (can't function when I haven't eaten... in this case, my last meal was the night before at 9pm), I met my mom at my house in Dunwoody. She drove me to the office (it was an office building within St. Joseph's). We did more paperwork, after which they took me back and got me started. It was a room with a leather reclining chair. I put on the gown (open to the back, of course... why do they do that?!?!), the booties, and the hair thing. Wish I had gotten a picture. They started my IV. The woman admitted she hadn't seen my vein. Everyone was extremely friendly. They kept asking me to repeat everything, including what procedure I was having. The let my mom in to get my stuff, then they led me (butt hanging out, IV trailing behind) to the surgery room.

They introduced me to everyone in the room. They made me get on the table, which was challenging since I was trying to not have all the clothing fall off. The anesthisiologist (sp?) was nice, he was talking to me about Tech football. He said he was a Tech fan, and I asked why, and he said because he's always lived in Atlanta. I thought about Melissa and commented how most Georgians root for Georgia, and he confirmed that he was a Tech fan and a Florida fan which makes him anti-Georgia. He said he was going to give me drugs that would feel good and tucked my Iv arm in next to me.

And that's the last thing I remember. Next I was waking up in another room with a window looking out on all of metro Atlanta from up above. Except my eyes were really blurry, not only from the lacking of glasses/contacts but from some stuff they had put in there. The nurse said the doctor had explained it to me, didn't I remember? Nope, after lack of food and a bad night's sleep the night before, I slept like a baby. Best nap ever.

They waited for me to be more or less coherent. I could feel pressure in my face and noticed that I couldn't breathe out of my nose. I drank a gatorade, changed, they put me in the wheel chair and sent me on my way (not my first time in a wheel chair, though.)

It hasn't been too painful. Mostly it just feels like bad sinus days, where I get awful headaches and have huge pain in my face. I've been able to eat semi-normally, although nothing hot. Lots of chapstick and saline have helped to make it all more comfortable. I think everyone, including myself, is surprised by how normal I look considering my face is full of stuffing. I can function semi-normally, except I become exhausted and light-headed after about 45 minutes of being upright. Might be something to do with the lack of oxygen.

Tomorrow I return to the doctor to get the packing removed. This won't be a happy time. I'll be on a double dose of pain killers, but awake for it all. Yummy yummy.

I've enjoyed the time to slow down and rest, but know that I will pay for it for the rest of the week. My friends have been great about checking in and making me feel loved, and I can't say that I'm surprised about who has contacted me or left well-wishes in some way and who hasn't.

Mostly I'm looking forward to re-joining the land of the living. See you all on Wednesday!

Vote!

And don't only vote... vote not Republican!
New Rule for Democrats..Bill Maher 11/03/06

Here goes nothing.

Tomorrow is my sinus surgery.

I guess the condition just crept up on me. First it was allergies, then sinus infections, then chronic sinus infections. I never really related the always being tired and just general crappy feeling to it, but evidently that's all caused by it.

Here's hoping that I'll be able to wake up in the morning and not feel tired, I'll be able to study longer, I won't get that dull pain between my eyes that makes me feel sleepy, I won't get debilitating headaches every day, I'll actually be able to get enough air when I'm exercising, and many many more related things. Like taking fewer drugs on a regular basis.

Update when I'm coherent enough.

Screwed Over and Pissed Off!

So, this year I joined the ASDL block for football tickets. Yes, a different experience from Delta Chi, but still a fun time.

They camped out for Notre Dame, we got a great section. Everything was going swimmingly. Until Homecoming, that is.

They camped out again. 15th in line. Turned the vouchers in just like all the other times. Except this time we got a call Wednesday saying they had "given out too many student tickets" and that our block wouldn't be honored.

Exucse me?!?! You're saying you ran out by the 15th person in line? Yeah, right... only if the other 14 were all 100+ people blocks. Oh wait, that's possible. I suppose the more likely possibility is the frats and sororities got priority and we got screwed over. Yep, that seems more likely.

So, we decided to take up a section where we had the most tickets. The season ticket holders in that section were none too pleases, but I wasn't in any mood to care. One guy was boozing it up with his kids (I told him it's a great idea to teach them while they're young.) I'm a firm believer that children don't belong at college football games. This other woman started explaining to me how her season tickets cost a lot.

Oh yeah, lady? I bet your season tickets don't even cost as much as my activity fee, let alone TUITION. So shut up. I understand that the alumni and season ticket holders are important because they bring money in. It still pisses me off that I get kicked out of my $500 parking spot and on top of that got screwed over for Homecoming. Doesn't attempting to create generous and giving alumni include NOT pissing off CURRENT students, who are in fact the future alumni?

We finally ended up in "row 23," a special row made up but actually on some of the tickets. It was just behind the guard rail. The Thugs kept bitching, but the ticket guy came over and told them to shut up cause we were legitimate. Aside from not actually having a seat (which would've been nice during the commercial breaks), it was actually a great spot because I could actually see!

Oh, and just because they won doesn't mean that I have changed my mind about Reggie Ball or Chan Gailey sucking. Cause they do. Immensely.

Goodbye October

I know pronounce the crazy month of October over (well, almost...) Let the celebrations begin!

The last of the tons of work finished today with a 3 hour test. Yeah, right, who am I kidding, Monday I'll be right back at it, beginning with a 5 hour meeting at Lockheed that starts at 730 am. Joy.

But, at least this weekend doesn't have to be spent doing work. The itinerary: party tonight, tailgate tomorrow, game, party, recover/get ready for surgery on Sunday.

I know I'll be swamped with stuff when I'm back at work/school from surgery, but I'm hoping just having it will help me feel better all the time and I'll be more productive since I won't feel like crap all the time. I hope.

15 days after the surgery I'm travelling with my research team to D.C. for a workshop/conference thing. It's at the national convention center, we're staying in Tyson's Square (I think). The good news is that I'll get a chance to attempt to visit my soulmate!! I don't care if it's the middle of the night. Melissa, you've been warned! Oh, and maybe my good friend Cameron too, but I forsee myself swamped with work.

What's even better is that not only do I get to share a room with my most favoritest co-worker, I now have discovered that we are expected to share a bed. According to my boss, this will work because "she's big and you're little." Yeah right, I don't understand how anyone else is expected to be able to fit on the bed. Two kind souls have already offered air mattresses... I'm going to take them up on it.

I wish this sore throat/earache thing would go away so I can party to the fullest of my abilities! I'm going as Hillary. Bill Clinton for First Lady '08!

Headline

This was the leading headline in the AJC today. Not that I subscribe to the AJC. I heard about it on the radio. They were commenting about how amazing it was that with all that's happening in the world, this is the most important. Maybe they were forgetting that a good chunk of the AJC is written by former UGA journalism majors.

I find it all amusing. What's the point if it's not a drunkfest? That's what these schools, and particularly this event, are known for. I know it wasn't the students or alumni pushing for that reputation. But, I guess that's what makes it news. Because it's so shocking!

One of those days...

I had my surgery pre-op this morning at the ENT. It's in Dunwoody. My appointment was at 9:20, same time as all my other appointments. I was usually back at work by 10:15.

Not today. First I sat there for forever, then at 10am they moved me to a room, then at 10:15 the doctor finally saw me (and really scared me about my condition following... ew.), and I was on my way by 10:30. Yep, that was great.

Then, since I was in the area, I decided to stop by Wal-mart. Bad idea when half of Ashford Dunwoody is closed. Then, just after 11 I headed back to campus for my 12pm class.

Except they decided to close 3 lanes of the highway right after 400 merges... for a good reason? Yeah, right. Because there was debris, specifically a wooden board, in the right-hand lane. What the crap?!?!!

I got back just in time for my class. I feel like the whole day was wasted. Well, except for my signing my life away in case something goes wrong in the surgery. :-p

Lostprophets

Sitting here in the lab on a Saturday morning, supposed to be working on my report but instead and going through the gazillion emails I haven't had a chance to get through in the past few days/weeks.

One is from ticketmaster for upcoming events, and there they are listed, Lostprophets, one of my favorites! Tickets are only $15.50... I'm getting excited.

Oh wait... it's on November 1st. I'll be bedridden. Wonderful.

Hopefully they'll make it back to the U.S. again soon...

Busy

No time, too busy! Grad school is kicking my butt lately... so much so that I'm keeping Melissa hours!

For real update sometime after I sleep, and get some down time... in November.

Surgery: Oct 31

Twisted Taco

Man, it was awesome to be at a bar full of Georgia people when Georgia lost so badly to Tennessee!!! And, then, to celebrate with lots of dancing!

Ok, I need to quit staying out so late. Especially on nights that I need to study or when I need to get up early the next day.

Oh well. Said I stayed in grad school for the fun, right? Can't remember the last time I went out, stayed out late, both nights of two weekends in a row (including Thursday... when I have an enormous test on Monday!)

Let's make it 3 in a row!

Melissa... how's that for your plan of remembering Sunday that I have a test the next day!

Oh, and way to go Jackets. You definitely are better this year. Last year you wouldn't have been able to come back. But, just for the heck of it, let's actually make the spread from now on and not leave things until the next minute.

Love,
Livia

P.S. I love Will Evans and Melissa Scholz

Observation

The other day I heard a story on All Things Considered about Donald Rumsfeld and how he refuses to resign. As of this December, his tenure as secretary of defense will be longer than Robert McNamara's. Is it just me, or is it a bad thing when people compare you with the "prime architect of the Vietnam War?"

Hmm... I've heard of several figures refusing to step down... Chavez comes to mind.

Just a thought.

Amusing Moment of the Day

One of my projects (both research and classes, they somewhat overlap) has to do with the FAA and planning/predicting future environmental impacts of aviation as well as what policy regulation will do to the aviation industry. Very with the times as far as environmental concerns go. Pretty neat stuff.

So today I'm in a class group meeting and my team leader informs that he doesn't believe in global warming. Not only that, but he recommended a (fictional) Michael Crichton book (State of Fear) as his evidence. Not so sure, but I'm not going to use fiction as my evidence. Perhaps instead of engineering my team leader should've looked into punditry.

Then, we're in a review with our Professor, who starts going on and on about the environment, how it will become increasingly more important in the future, and how not believing in global warming is, well... not smart.

Ah, the irony. The team leader of the environmental group doesn't "believe" in it. Doc lectures him on the evidence as to why he's wrong.

That's the only thing that made the impromptu-until-7pm-meetings today bearable.

Now it's time to go out and celebrate Marni's 4th anniversary of her 21st birthday!

Panic! At the Lab...

I guess there's a reason they call this semester boot camp. Most days lately I have this panicked feeling in my chest, the one where there's so much to do that you can't even remember it all and you're so worried you keep forgetting the little things and making stupid errors. Seems like it's a common ailment around the lab lately, but particularly for those of us in boot camp.

On top of boot camp, my RE is double dipping me so I am spread between 2 research areas, one of which has 6-7 different projects/deliverables going on. While the second one is what I like, it's just too much. My brain is full.

I'm in meetings all day, usually for research. While I'm in research meetings, I'm missing meetings for my 2 different group projects. And sometimes classes. 4 of them.

Coming up:
Oct 9: Advanced Design Methods test
Thank goodness I have the 2 fall break days and this week to catch up on everything!
Oct 19: AE Systems presentations (I have yet to make a meeting for this group... I bet they like me already)
Oct 20: Fixed Wing Design project due (haven't started)
Oct 20: Computers/Fortran code due
Oct 24: AE Systems Test
Oct 27: Fixed Wing Design Test

Not to mention the ongoing ADM project that I am behind on. And ONR workshops coming up, Lockheed meetings, a proposal to write and 2 people waiting on me for direction for my EDS work. Oh, yeah, and the trying to get my sinuses fixed which includes repetitive visits to the ENT, ct scans, and most likely surgery.

And I absolutely refuse to give up my life, which includes Will, fun, friends and exercising.

Is October over yet? I'm scheduling the massage that Kristy bought me almost a year ago for Nov 1.

Go Jackets!

Yesterday was a good day to be a Yellow Jacket. I'm bad luck, so I only watched the 4th quarter of the game against Va Tech (and interestingly enough things didn't go as well after I turned on the tv). Regardless, we upset. Which we do well... away. It'll be a challenge to upset Miami at home, but possible.

Go Jackets, keep up the good work!

Girl's Night Out: Success!

So, I was the orchestrator of Girl's Night Out, it took place last night. It was somewhat tough to plan... it's not exactly simple to coordinate 15 people's schedules. I was also getting irritated with some of them towards the end. I guess no matter how much you try to accomodate some people, at the end of the day they don't care and won't think twice about taking advantage of it. Or maybe I was just irritated because of PMS.

Ultimately, 9 of us ended up going (and, fitting in Melissa Young's blazer) and it was a blast! We started off (after I dropped by Heather's place to say happy birthday to my big brother) with dinner at The Spotted Dog. It was pretty good food and any place that has Newcastle on tap is a good place in my opinon. We then moved the fun (via the blazer) over to loca luna for drinks and dancing.

And we did drink. And dance. It was fun times. Except for a horrid Laura A (ghost from the past) sighting, but fortunately it was only once and then she disappeared. We wrapped it up at around 2 am.

It seemed to me like the other girls come from girl-rich environments, so I suppose they don't have to go out of there way to get an estrogen fix. And some of them don't like as much estrogen time. We explained how they more than doubled the amount of girls that I knew, both in undergrad and grad. But we agreed that our next outing would be to a "booty-shaking club" (as if we didn't do that at loca luna) and we'd bring the boys, too.

I think everyone had fun though, except that we lazy americans close up shop too early.

Verdict: success

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Disappointment

Tonight I went over to Yak's place to watch Gilmore Girls. I gotta say, I was more than a little disappointed. I only remembered that the show's original writers had left after a few minutes into it... something just didn't feel right. The pace wasn't there and the wit and humor were watered down at best. Last season I thought the characters were behaving very un-character like, and it seems as though this trend will continue. Makes me wish they had ended it on a high note.

Nevertheless, it's awesome to have fans/friends to watch it with! Perhaps eventually (not on a Wednesday) we will play the drinking game... drink once for a pop culture reference, drink twice if you don't understand it.

Past episodes would've put me under the table by the first or second commercial break. I guess with this one we'll all last longer.

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Done

Among the many things that I have had enough of/with lately, my living situation is one of them. Don't get me wrong, I love the apartment and may consider selling my soul to live here alone. If that could happen one hour from now it wouldn't be soon enough.

Is there a statute of limitations on how long you can tolerate a roommate, or is it just cause I attract the mentally/emotionally/responsibility challenged ones?

Yeah, I'm picky, and so I thought living with one who is "neat" (note that neat doesn't imply cleanliness or that there is a lack of smelliness) would make life easier, but as it turns out in this case it doesn't. Melissa, I'd take your messiness (all over, not just in your room!) and mental/emotional stability and the fact that you come with logic over neatness anyday.

I miss the Melissa days.

Due to my oh-so-considerate roommate's actions/mental problems, I'm out of a place to live in February. Yep, a whole 2.5 months before I'm done with grad school. Wonderful timing, isn't it?

Who wants a visitor?

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Thursday!!!

Melissa's coming to town!!!

Yay! Couldn't ask for a better pick me up!

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Ringo

I woke up to my phone ringing (vibrating) this morning, it was my dad. He asked what I was doing today, and I told him. I thought maybe he was calling like he does when my mom is out of town. A few minutes later my mom called. She said my kitty Ringo was dead, something bit him (most likely a dog).

I got Ringo on my 16th birthday. He was a tiny, fluffy, fuzz ball little kitty. He was abandoned, so he though me and my mom were his mommies. He was so small he couldn't jump up on the bed. He learned to give hugs and kisses. I would carry a string and he would follow me for hours. When I went out of town, he would get mad at me and hold a grudge. He had a little snake that he would carry around by the neck. Later on he found a big stuffed Hobbes and would make biscuits on it.


He was special. He drooled when he was really, really happy. He rang the doorbell when he wanted to come in. He preferred fresh running water from the sink and would sit in the bathroom every morning while I got ready. He didn't care for meat, so my dad gave him fresh vegetables to eat, usually in the morning. When he was younger he would sit on the sit of the bathtub while I took a shower. Once he got in the bubble bath. When we got Einstein, they became buddies and would always snuggle together. He liked to sit on top of my mom's car.



Ringo's hair would get matted so we would have him shaved. They would leave his head and the end of his tail so that he looked like a little lion. When Alden was a baby it would make him giggle. This winter he needed to wear a sweater, but he kept hiding them from my mom. He got so big and fat and he was moody. He liked to climb trees. One morning my dad asked me to come see something from the 2nd story landing. There was Ringo, eye level, in the trees.



I just got back from burying him with my dad and I don't much feel likegoing to the football game. We buried him next to Einstein, since theyalways used to be together when they were both alive. I buried him with his snake. That's one of the only times I've ever seen my Dad cry.

I'm going to miss him.

Balancing Act

There have been so many things (as usual) that I have wanted to write about, I just haven't had the time. And I've been running around like a crazy person. It's been difficult to settle back into this semester and my very precarious balancing act of school, work, cycling, boyfriend, and now friends (yay), not to mention the occasional babysitting job. These past few weeks have been very social and I've been making exceptions to many usual rules so that I oculd get to know my new classmates and it's been going well. The boyfriend thing is easy to deal with since he's not around very much, and the cycling thing wasn't a big factor lately because of bad weather for mountain biking and my inability to get back into the swing of things. I've been riding about half as much as the summer. It's hard to motivate myself to train hard again because riding without aching and tired legs is so much more fun than with them. I have been watching what I eat but not as closely. That has just happened because I liteally haven't had the time to fill out my food journal. Much less input it all online.

The weekends have been packed with fun. Last Friday I enjoyed an evening of dinner and movie watching with my new friends. Saturday was Tailgating and the game. Sunday some time with my favorite kids then some time with my favorite show (4 Gilmore Girls episodes) and my new girl friends. Monday was shopping and bbq time.

This weekend will be another crazy one. Friday I have tickets with 7 of the new girls to watch Beauty and the Beast at the Fox. We have class til 6pm on Fridays (sometimes 630) so it'll be a challenge to get dinner and get there on time (and we will, because tickets weren't cheap!) Saturday I have to be in 3 places at once: the GT Cycling hosted mountain bike race, the ASDL picnic and the GT-Samford football game. Right now I've committed to the mtn race, which will eat up 6am-6pm of both days, but I'm considering bailing due to extenuating circumstances. Ideally I'd like to be at all places... why is cloning a bad thing?

Hopefully I will get to sit at some point and share my thoughts on:

• Hillary's book ( I finally finished!!)
• The GT-Notre Dame Game/Stupid Tech boys
• Summer of Speed: Mission Accomplished?
• To PhD or not to PhD... that was the question (or perhaps still is)
• Renewed motivation and the high quality higher education I'm getting... NOT

Stay tuned.

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Ready

Thanks to my Mom's "Straight A" gift (it only took me 15 semesters!) I am now ready for football season.

Let the Tailgating commence!

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Money Makes the World Go Around

This past Friday I finally got around to watching Fahrenheit 9/11. It came in from Netflix about 3 weeks ago (after putting it off for 2 years... I guess I'm a bad liberal) and sat on the coffee table. I guess I knew it would be difficult to watch.

Sure, it's meant to sway you emotionally, and with that in thought everything that is presented must be taken with a grain of salt. Even so, the movie is incredibly moving. While mostly tastefully done and subtle, there were scenes from both 9/11 and the war that had me in tears.

I'm certainly not a fan of this administration and have done a lot of reading on the mistakes and corruption surrounding this administration, but some of the information in the movie shocked even me. Sure, Michael Moore spun some of it. But you can't spin numbers or the reactions of Congress people when asked if they would send their kids to war. It's easy to see the blundering military mistakes and how the U.S. is handling itself in an extremely insensitive manner, which only fuels the fire of hatred in the area of the world.

The take away story from the movie is that money is still what makes the world go 'round... and, absolute power corrupts absolutely. It's hard to stop those at the top, or even get a word in edgewise. The amount of corruption in politics now is astronomical and there are very few things unaltered by the current administration. Dishonesty abounds, from wiretapping to following bank accounts to altering Nasa's mission statement to not allowing the coffins of soldiers to be shown to ignoring the geneva convention to blocking investigations to accusing people of being unpatriotic for exercising their right to free speech, I wonder if anything will remain unscathed. Add to that a domestic agenda that cuts funding for educational programs while cutting estate taxes and a deficit that is out of control. In my opinion, 2008 won't get here soon enough.

It seems that "Dubya" has been surrounded by all of that so long he may actually believe the bs he promotes. I'd love to sit down with him and ask him how he sleeps at night, with the blood of thousands on his hands and the lives of many more ruined and altered, for the worse, permanently. But, I would congratulate him on his success in the war on the middle class.

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Joy!

There are a couple of "normal" girls in the new class. And by normal I really mean abnormal because they don't fit your typical aerospace engineering (ASDL) mold. Don't get me wrong, there are some that do, but some that don't. You know, those ones who can match and won't look the other way when you address them. And who like to be sociable.

We've been passing notes during class and girl-talking (ok, so it's gossip) outside of class. I can't begin to explain how starved I've been for some quality girl time. And in the past few weeks, I've been blessed enough to meet several women who I'm very excited to get to know better.

I've had some trouble with the female engineering types (what is it with them/us, anyway?) and my few good girl friends have since moved on to the next phases of their lives. While we still communicate by email (one in Hartford, one in D.C.), there's nothing like talking about shampoo and how to deal with the frizz and the crazy humidity. I'm hoping that I will have better luck with these girls, since they seem to be girlier (is that a word?) than the usual. In a good way.

I am overjoyed!

And so is Will. He's tired of hearing about my shampoo.

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New Additions to the Family

Ok, I'll be honest: I definitely covet when it comes to bikes. Probably every cyclist does. When I purchased my first bike, I wasn't sure what my commitment to the sport would be so I bought from a generic company to get a better deal on the components I wanted (I wasn't about to have any of this sore-thumb Sora stuff). It was a great first bike, even though I had some bad luck with the mechanicals. The components were awesome, and Will assured me that upgrading would only involve the frame and wheels.

So I did. Meet The Stig. Some say he can smell corners.

The Stig was purchased used for about half of what it goes for new. It features all of my old components, wheels, pedals, even handlebars. The Mercier got all the stuff that the Stig came with (mostly comparable quality) and was sold this past Saturday morning to a nice rich old lady. I thought I'd be sad to see my first baby go, but then again it's like the cars. The Stig is such a huge step up that I didn't think twice. Actually, that's not true. I spent about an hour deliberating about whether I should get it or not. I always intended to upgrade, but not before I was actually fast. After my Summer of Speed (recap to come), I've gained speed but am not exactly fast. But what better inspiration and motivation to train is there than an awesome bike. The frame is so much stiffer and stronger that I've effectively gained 2 gears, which is especially useful for a poor climber such as myself and have turned into a not so bad descender. I've gained a lot of confidence in my handling, which will certainly pay off in the future. So far it's just helped me have frequent "oh shit" moments and my first "real" crash.

I had to sell my first bike to make up the loses accumulated from buying two bikes in less than three months. Mid-May I bought a mountain bike.

Meet Jocelyn DaKontents.

With Jocelyn I again aimed for racing level components and my price range (which wasn't a lot, because I didn't think I would like moutain biking... I was right). Beyond that I didn't know what to get so Will recommend her. So far Jocelyn and I haven't gotten along so well, mostly because I feel like throwing up from all the jostling and I like to wreck her pretty frequently. Most recently I ended up in a tree. It wasn't her fault though, it's more operator error. But, the objective of learning to mountain bike was to become a better bike handler, and I can already feel some differences (coupled with the best frame ever) out on the road. As far as the mountain season goes, we'll see if I'm capable of not being a slow poke.

Those are my new kids. You're supposed to love your kids equally, but let's face it, everyone has a favorite. I'll give you one guess about which one I prefer.

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