To Prove My Theory

I believe I mentioned the other day the tendency for people here to not want to take responsibility for their actions. No one wants to be wrong, of course, but a large part of character is being able to own up to the times when you mess up.

I think particularly people our age and younger are not taught to consider the consequences of their actions. I believe that the growing numbers of lawsuits helps prove the point - people just don't want to own up to what they've done (and, they are sleazy enough to want to make money off of it)

Take a look at this: http://www.ksat.com/news/4246904/detail.html

Who's fault is it? Ford, or the idiots who decided to drink and drive? Or, do they get an excuse for their actions because they were drunk and didn't know any better?

The way I was raised, if you can't "know any better" when you're drunk you're way too immature to have a drink.

The end.

Why Birthdays are not my favorite....

Already there has been a ton of drama surrounding my birthday plans. John suggested a place last night that I've been wanting to go to for some time. But, more than that, I just wanted to go where I can hang out with the 20-25 people I want to invite. Some people would prefer to go other places.

My question is this: Why can't I just do what I want to do and have who I want there and it not cause such problems?

First there is the whole if I invite one person I have to invite another that's connected to them which means some other people won't like it etc etc. You know what? It's my one day of the year to be selfish (note: in the past year I have planned 5 bdays for people, and here I am planning my own) so I'd like to have everyone that I want there. Of course, there are exceptions. Last year Will got in at about 1am from a race. This year Alex has a meet.

The other thing is people trying to push me into what they want to do. Seriously, I let everyone push me around the entire rest of the year! Can't one day be saved for what I want to do? I understand that you prefer to do other things, but I am not going to spend my birthday like I did the past few years, with people that I don't like at a place that I didn't want to go to anyway. So, if you can't put off what you want to do for one day to come and celebrate with me, then I'm not exactly sure why I would invite you anyway.

So, my memory has been refreshed. Maybe I'll opt for a smaller group or just a "boring" evening with Will.

March Birthdays...

Why is it that so many people are born in March? I have always known a ton of people with March birthdays and many people who share my birthday also!

Anyway, I just realized that it's next weekend! That means I get to do birthday things (maybe :-p) They past few years were pretty sad... due to a combination of it being near/during spring break and some not thoughtful people to spend it with.

Anyways, I'd like to make this one super fun, so if you have a good suggestion of what to do please let me know!

March Madness

Getting ready for the midterm briefing was crazy... but everything went so smoothly! I am so proud of my team, they all presented really well and we had it really together. We also earned several "very nice presentation"s at the end, which was really cool.

Now I'm super excited because I can focus on catching up and anticipating the craziness that is to come... our design needs to be frozen in 2 weeks! Yikes!


I have been noticing some people lately and I wonder how to best handle them. To the outside world, they are clearly headed for a train wreck. But, they see none of the red flags in their behavior. So, do you stick around and try to catch their attention... or do you just give up because you realize that they are completely uninterested in learning from you? They have such apparent issues and handle them in such negative/unhealthy ways, but you can't seem to get them to see it. Quite the predicament... I guess the whole "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" applies here. Boy does that saying fit a lot of things. I know many people who try to force the horse and it gets them nowhere.

Anyway... what to do for spring break. Some friends of mine (Steve, Pokie, etc) invited us to go skiing in Vermont. Sounds totally awesome but very expensive, so that's unfortunately not an option. The second is to go hang with Alex and Brian in Daytona. The third is to go spend some time sailing with John... but we would leave from Daytona, so these two could be combined. The fourth would be going on what Will calls "Adventures" everyday, which would be really cool too. So many awesome options, we'll have to see.

John cracked me up on the phone today, he says "Wait, Daytona is a big Spring Break place, right? Like that one.. Pam or Palm City or something..." He meant Panama City. That's hilarious to me. Some concerns about 17 year old puke on his boat were mentioned. Sorry that you'll have to dodge that on your runs, Rebecca ;-) I'm sure you'll be fine! And, if we're sailing in the area, you could come with!

I'm very excited cause this weekend we are going hiking with Jason and Apryl. I think we'll all have a lot of fun. And I got the cutest phone call from Jason, asking what he and Apryl needed to get. Perhaps we'll even camp one weekend.

I am LOVING spinning. And missing going out on my bike. But now it's fixed and hopefully I'll get to see what I can do later this week. And Jen Schur cracks me up when we're stretching in class! Rebecca - you gotta try one!

To drop or not to drop...

...that is the question. First, I was very torn between whether to drop Avionics or Aeroelasticity. Avionics turned out to be a pain in the butt for an elective (thank you Dr. Johnson), but on the other hand, I have had zero time to spend on Aeroelasticity, so although it doesn't seem to be too hard, I am still getting poor grades (lack of time bad grades.) After much debating I decided to just suck it up and stick with aeroelasticity...

...until tonight. Tuesday is our senior design Midterm Briefing. My plan was to have the aero homework done by now, but I've been very sick since last Thursday, so I was basically useless. Now not only do I not have the homework done, but I am also behind on my senior design stuff.

I hesitate to drop Aeroelasticity for two reasons. The first is that I will only have 9 hours this semester (... is that a bad thing?) and the second is that I *might* end up not graduating until the Spring of 2006. I have talked a lot to my parents about this, and brought up both the "I'm so old" and "I have no money" arguments against it. My Mom asked me what the big hurry was and reminded me that in the grand scheme of things, it's not that much money. I love that I have super supportive parents that come from a different culture where people aren't always trying to hurry through life and don't worry so much about things.

I would really, really hate for my other grades to suffer because of this one (and in my opinion, stupid and utterly useless) class.

Anyway, so basically I have pretty much decided to drop another class... but I guess I am still having doubts. Opinions, anyone?

Time Flies

Was it a weird week or what? Hey Katy, there was a full moon!

I've been meaning to post, but this week flew by just like all the others. It was a lab reports week, which means I had reports due in both Controls and Structures. Both Monday and Tuesday I left my room in the morning only to return at around 11 or 12.

I went to Krispy Kreme for the first time! It was yummy :-)

I think my body has been trying to get sick for some time and on Wednesday night/Thursday morning it succeeded. Since then I have not been feeling my best, hopefully it will go away before the end of the weekend (busy week this week... as usual) I haven't been able to go workout because of being sick, which makes me sad because I missed the good spinning class for the 3rd time in a row!!! Oh well... Will had also agreed to take me on a ride that he does frequently (I'm excited to see what I can do) but that was supposed to be this morning and I'm not well enough yet. I am definitely plannning on spinning tomorrow afternoon, though.

Next weekend we're planning a hiking trip with Jason and Apryl. I got to talk to her some at the Lair party and she's really cool! Speaking to her was refreshing, I feel like she is more like me than everyone else we know. We definitely have several things in common, including how much we like kids.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the whole Karma thing. I have been seeing lately that you definitely get back what you put out in the world. That makes me want to be very careful and only put out "positive" energy. That doesn't mean that bad things don't happen to good people, though. Maybe it is more of a "you reap what you sow" sort of deal. I just want to make sure I'm planting and investing in the right places.

I finally broke down and decided to get the tablet pc. Already it has been super useful. I was in the student center commons on friday trying to configure it and I ran into Little Adam (pokie) for the first time in a long time. It was good to see him, reminded me of several years ago. He invited me and Will to go skiing in Vermont for spring break, which would be awesome but sounds super expensive. I think I prefer the beach anyway (and Will agrees.)

Even though I was sick Will and I went out on a date last night. I think it had been a while since we'd been out alone, since we've been double dating and doing parties a lot recently. It was a lot of fun, it reminded me of what a good thing we have. We went out to dinner and saw Hitch, which was really good! We had a great time together... which is usually the case :-)

I definitely take him for granted a lot. He is so, so, so patient with me. This week when I was sick he was always there to take care of me. He brought me medicine and made sure I ate and tucked me in. I know no one else that takes such good care of me! I am a lucky, lucky girl. I often wonder how I was fortunate enough to end up with someone like him. Particularly since he doesn't mind that I am so 'old' (in fact, he prefers it) Maybe it's that whole karma thing coming around? If so, I must've done something really good! :-p

Several big decisions have come up recently. Or, maybe not so big. Anyway, decisions are always difficult for someone like me. The first was to decide which class to drop. I finally settled on Avionics, but I may end up dropping aeroelasticity as well (since life hasn't slowed down any, despite my having 1 less class). The next is regarding the Ovarian Cycle... the "century" ride is the same day as the Brasstown Bald stage of the Tour de Georgia. I asked Will awhile ago to take me to see it. I'm really disappointed that I have to choose between them. On one hand, it is something that I will (have been) training a long time for. On the other hand, how many times do you get to see Lance Armstrong race? Plus, would I rather ride indoor for 6 hours or up a mountain? Ugh... The third decision I can't write about, but I think I have settled on something that is healthy.

I can't believe it's March already!

The Learning Kind

I am not sure about everyone else, but I believe that college is not only a place to get a degree. I have a different idea of what the "college experience" should be (surprise, surprise.) I don't think that we should only learn from books. We should learn from each other, learn from situations and use these experiences to push the boundaries of ourselves in order to build character and self-esteem.

My question to you is: have you pushed yourself? Are you a better and stronger person than you were yesterday? Have you grown? Do those around you challenge you? If not, why not?

This this "senior" year I have learned more about myself than perhaps any other year before. I am so grateful to those around me because they continue to teach me invaluable lessons day by day. I think these lessons have helped build my character. I am "ok" with where I am today. I think it's very important to have strong self-esteem before heading out to the "real world" because as tough as things are now, they'll only get tougher. It's important that it's built on who you are and not what you do, because the day will come when we all fail at something. The question is: how will you handle it?

One of the things that I have been very challenged by this year is my "co-dependency." The definition is slightly misleading. Think of it as a "pleasing personality" - I like to make others happy, but often get walked all over during the process. I am a doormat, but this year I have been working on setting boundaries and respecting myself more. I believe that I have come a long way, although I know several people who would prefer it if I stayed the way I was. One example is the flying club. Boy, wouldn't they love it if I kept taking care of everything for everyone. But, I realize that this isn't helpful. I just feel over-run and the club doesn't really get a benefit, because I won't be around forever.

As a person with a pleasing personality, it is very difficult for me to have appropriate friendships. I have been reading a very helpful book (yep, I read self help books :-p) and it helps outline some qualities of a good friendship. According to this author, they are:

1. Confidentiality - what we say cannot be misconstrued or used against us
2. Purpose
3. Listening - it is important to be listened to
4. Without Judgement - being able to share fears without being criticized
5. A safe environment - a place to explore issues
6. Giving advice sparingly - offering advice is generally detrimental
7. Shared experience
8. Humor
9. Encouragement, not caretaking - ability to empathize but not become enmeshed
10. Challenging - they cannot tell us what to do or judge our actions but must find ways to measure challenges for us

I think these are great guidelines. How many people get this type of friendship from you? How many give you this type of friendship? I can think of maybe one person that I get it from, and maybe partly give to one also. Wouldn't it be great if all of our friendships were based on this? They would open up a whole new world.

I'm interested, are you?

Memories...

I heard that some people called my relationship with Will "miserable" and asserted that we must have no social life.

I have a couple of issues with that. First of all, I don't judge other's relationships. Also, I have always known that I enjoy different things for fun, and never have put down what other people do. I've just said that it's not for me. Saying
things of that nature reminds me of high school... and I expected us all to act like "adults" and handle things better!

So, back to the point. I was reminiscing with Will last night, we were trying to decide what makes us miserable and boring. Our first official date was flying an airplane to Athens, GA and throughout the past year and a half we have...

- climbed 4 moutains
- seen 1 gorge
- been to two different beaches
- 4 different airplane museums
- 1 airshow
- travelled to 4 different cities
- I learned to fly a stunt kite and will's airplane
- been to the symphony
- been to the fox theatre
- have eaten a ton of meat at a churrascaria
- 2 new years eves together
- bike ride dates to piedmont park in the morning :-)
- been to the north georgia mountains
- 1 backpacking/camping trip (my first!)

...and countless other good memories. Now, I realize that not everyone may enjoy these things, but I've gotten to try countless new things with him and broaden my horizons. I know some people may feel like college is the time to live it up because they'll never get the chance again, and this is true. They won't have a chance. But, I'm going to have even more fun when there's not schoolwork to hold me back!

Never Been Kissed

I was thinking about a line from the movie, where Molly Shannon is in the sex-ed class and is saying how her mother used to tell her

"No one will want to buy the whole ice cream truck if you're handing out popsicles for free."

This subject is one that is always on my mind. Throughout high school and college I've been called a "prude" a lot. This used to bother me. (Although, I just looked up the word - to check the spelling no less - and I think it's a little extreme to me but who knows what other people think.) Anyway, the moral is that it doesn't bother me anymore.
I suppose I always felt like it's a bad thing and that I should fit in more. Lately (over the past year or so) however I'm becoming more comfortable and even proud of my differences (I don't think I'm that different, I just don't know where all the others like me are!) I like how I was raised and I like convictions and my standards. I think it gives me the one-up on the whole self-esteem race.

Anyway, what is also important, is that it makes proud that I never have things to tell to Will that would disappoint him. And that each thing that we share is that much more valuable. Isn't that cool? It's the easiest way to invest ever!

Anyway, that's my opinion.

Valentine's Day

This year was by far my favorite Valentine's Day (it wins over last year because Will was actually here for it!)

Mondays are really busy days for both of us (I'm in class til 6, he's in class 7-10) so when I was asked to watch Colin and Maddy I agreed. We decided to have some dessert when I got back. So, I receive a text message asking if I'd had dinner, which I hadn't because Mondays are so crazy! Anyway, I head back after babysitting to be surprised by this:

Table for two please!

An AE dork's dream date

It was perfect! A yummy dinner (notice the airplane napkins!) and one of the best chocolate desserts ever - ice cream!

I know a lot of people speculate - there were no flowers, no stuffed things (except for me - haha!), no expensive gifts, but I like that it had Will's "flavor" to it. He definitely does things differently, and hey, that's alright with me! Different is really good!

Using my legs for the greater good

There are so many things that I have wanted to post but I've had no time. I think I'm going to make time, because like Jen said, I don't want to lose my words.

My first catch-up post will be about the thing that I am most excited about at the moment. Saturday Biff forwarded me an email about something called the Ovarian Cycle. It is a 10 week indoor cycling program culminating in a Century ride (100 miles) to raise money for Ovarian Cancer. I signed up right away.

I am very, very excited. Cycling is something that I grow to like more day by day, and I'm thrilled to use it to help those with cancer or even to prevent cancer. I'm also really excited because Jen is doing it also, so I've been getting to spend more time with her(which is lots of fun!) Registering for the Ovarian Cycle means that I get to attend the CRC's Spinning Classes, so Jen and I have been waking each other up at the butt crack of dawn to go to them. Good times!

I was a little worried at first because to participate you have to raise at least $400 dollars. This instantly brought memories of my mission trip to Jamaica back. But, I learned huge lessons about that back then, so I decided to try it out (plus, I know a lot more people with real jobs now!) I am always really pleasantly surprised and touched by how generous people are. My Mom's boss, whom I've met only twice, donated $100. My old friend from church J.T. (more my brother's friend... I haven't seen him recently) donated $50 last night. My sister gave $50 (bless her poor little heart.) And the list goes on and on... to where I've raised $300 in either pledges or direct donations in less than a week.

Makes you believe a little more that people are truly good, doesn't it?

The weather outside is frightful...

This past Saturday we got some "bad" weather. We woke up to this Saturday morning...




Biff Ice Skating

Smelly and Biff - Pairs skating

Opposites Attract

They closed the campus, but I figure it is only because it's Saturday and there aren't any classes anyway. I wish this would happen during the week, but realistically they probably would still make us go to class. It was very challenging walking around. It took me, Biff, Smelly and Jen a long time to walk to CRC! But, I think I would enjoy living in a place with real winter.

Hi, my name is Livia, and I'm a codependent.

I slept through my alarm today. Actually, I don't even know if it went off. I went to bed with a massive headache last night. Maybe my head was hurting too much to turn my alarm on properly. Anyway, I thought Biff and I had a deal to call each other if we hadn't talked on im by like 7:15 (I could've sworn that we said something like that last week - but then again, I could've sworn that I turned on my alarm! :-p) Anyway, she called me at 7:50, and since there was no way I could get ready in time, here I am. It's the first time I've missed class in quite a while. Anyway, now I have a new deal with Will, so it's all good! :-)

I've been reading this book about codpendent personalities. Apparently I have one of these (but I am getting better.) Somewhere rolled up in this personality is the inability to say no to people. This is something that I'm really trying to work on, because it has gotten me into some pretty bad situations. Some were very bad emotionally, some were just not fun. For example: Since I can't say no, I told my friend John that I would go with him and Guillermo to Wilmington this summer. Now, I love to travel, but I'd much rather go somewhere (or stay here) with Will. Anyway, the trip approached and I felt really bad about backing out, so I went. It was an ok trip. But I ended up spending hundreds of dollars, lost my pocket pc, got chigger bites, and delayed by thunderstorms just because I couldn't say no.

So anyway, now I try to be a little more assertiveand people aren't really appreciative. Maybe everyone is so used to getting whatever they want from me. Anyway.

So I know it may make planning things a little more difficult, but I don't want to end up somewhere I don't like, spending lots of my money (cause I don't have a lot and I work really hard for what I do have) just because "I said I would go." So before I sign my name on the dotted line, I'm going to make sure that's it's something that I would enjoy. And I'm pretty sure dodging drunk people on a beach at 11am is not in my definition of fun.

It's not, you ask? Nope. I guess we're weird. Will and I have discussed this quite a bit. We just enjoy different things from people our age. Not to say that going out for drinks with friends isn't enjoyable. I think all my friends in high school were right. I'm just not a party girl. I would choose a place with bike paths, museums, things to sight see or hike or anything like that over a place with bars and clubs any day. But that's just me (and Will.)

So the moral of the story is I really do feel bad about being "difficult," but I'd rather do that now and save myself hundreds of dollars and a lot of resentment. And, Will and I are pretty well matched. :-)

The end!

This Semester.

Ok, I think I may have posted about this before, but here goes again. I know a lot of people have "easy" semesters this semester. That's fortunate for them, I'm very envious. I am not one of these people. I am taking six classes, two of which are labs. One is senior design and I am the program manager of my team. One is aeroelasticity, arguably the hardest AE class there is. I also am researching approximately 10 hours per week. And I am the secretary of the flying club (there goes Tuesday nights) until Spring Break. I am a tour guide. I like to workout 4-5 times a week. I babysit at least twice a week.

So, what does all fo this mean? Unfortunately, it means from now on that whenever there are people going out on school nights, I won't be going with them. It means that I will probably have to spend a good part of Saturday and Sunday doing work. It means that I'll miss out on some fun.

Those of you who know me know that I'm not one to advocate missing out on fun for school. But, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. I'm not saying that I will even remotely try to be an over-achiever this semester. If I ever feel like I am on top of things, that I most certainly will go out on those school nights, etc. But, I have a feeling that I will be struggling just to keep up.

Rebecca, looks like me and you will be study buddies this semester :-)

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus... but Livia is from Saturn

You Are From Saturn

You're steady, organized, and determined to achieve your dreams. You tend to play it conservative, going by the rules (at least the practical ones). You'll likely reach the top. And when you do, you'll be honorable and responsible. Focus on happiness. Don't let your goals distract you from fun! Don't be too set in your ways, and you'll be more of a success than you ever dreamed of.

What Planet Are You From?

3 out of 4 isn't bad, right?

Alex said this to me yesterday regarding the roomie we don't like. She has bothered me for a long (probably because I'm the one next to her and get to bear the brunt of her inconsideration,) but I think her attitude has started to bother Alex. We are fortunate that Jen, Alex and I get along pretty well. We hang out occasionally also (it really helps to have mutual friends.) Not only does Carol not get along with us, she's never tried. I guess she's not interested in making more friends. Which is fine, she may be blessed enough to have as many as she wants/needs. But, in my opinion, this does not mean that you can be rude to your roommates!!! I think she's in denial about having any roommates. If we are around, she will duck her head down and look the other way to avoid contact with us. I don't think this is any way to treat people that you live with. Granted, she may be a little ticked at the email I sent her over Christmas break, but nothing in it was particularly mean I think (she was bothering even the people across the hall with her music.)

Anyway, I've been thinking. Who raises their children to be so rude and inconsiderate?!?! That makes me nervous for the future of this society... maybe she just suffers from Techie syndrome. Not socially adept. I don't think we should have to put up with that, but I'm also not one for confrontations. Oh well... like Alex said, less than 1 semester left!

Ah! I'm getting old!

You Are 30 Years Old

30 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

And so it begins

Here we are, back for another semester. The first two days were good, but long. Mondays are especially long with avionics, senior design, controls lab lecture and 3 hours of spanish. But, the time in Spanish flies by because it enjoyable. It is hard to tell how busy/tiring my days will be since there are no labs this first week.

I decided to throw myself in for the vote to be Program Manager for my Senior Design group, and I got it. I know I can be very organized and on top of things, so I guess it was a matter of not trusting anyone else to do the job properly. Will wanted to be Chief Engineer, but Juan Leon won the vote. It was a very difficult decision for all of us, since we know they both will do an excellent job. Being Program Manager will really be a test of my patience, but also will be interesting due to my "pleasing" personality. We shall see how I apply what I have learned recently (from the book When Pleasing Others is Hurting You.)

I went to visit Will in Columbus for the first time since March last week. It was a lot of fun, but that story is for another entry.

I will close with something that I have been thinking about, which Biff also brought up. First, I don't think Biff was very bad to her friends when she was dating Joey. Sure, she didn't see others as much, but that happens as we meet different people in different social circles. I have, however, been dealing with people who are never seen without their "other half." I find this very irritating, because usually people are dishonest about it. It also prevents my relationship with them from growing.

For example: My best friend of many years (since we were 8 years old) starting dating someone. Even though I was not a fan of this someone, I never mentioned that I did not like spending time with him. Anyway, we were to go to a banquet for our high school orchestra teacher and arranged to drive there together. I got a call from her (she was already late to pick me up) that said she would just meet me there. Since I found out that she was nearby, I convinced her to stop by anyway (thinking this would be a great time for us to catch up.) Imagine my surprise when I find this guy with her (which is interesting, since he didn't attend our high school.) Anyway, that basically was the end of us spending time together, which is sad because we had been friends for so long.

So, anyway, I hope that I don't do that to my friends. I know that when I was younger I would, but now I realize that part of a healthy, happy relationship is being able to still be an independent person. My wish is never to be perceived as one half to go with my "other half." So, if I start to do this, please warn me!

Back to school blues...

I am really dreading the start of the semester next week. Spring semesters are always bad for me for some reason. This one will be especially rough, with two labs, senior design, aeroelasticity, spanish, avionics, research, bike riding, gre stuff and grad school apps and trying to finish my pilot's license.

It has been so nice to sleep and watch tv the past few weeks. I have come to realize that Tech really takes it out of you. I have been in a much better mood these past few weeks. Spending time with Will outside of school has been awesome as well. I've discovered that I'm in a healthy, happy relationship! School makes it so easy to forget that. Between all the stress of classes and our hectic schedules, it is really hard to get some quality time together. I almost prefer the semester where he was in Greenville. Although I only saw him on the weekends, we had that time set aside and didn't really have to be anywhere at any time unless we wanted to. It was so nice then, and this break also, to just be able to sit around and enjoy each other's company. I feel like we got a great chance to remember our chemistry and how much fun we have together.

Just in time, too, because this semester will be rough on our relationship. Soon he will be racing and will be gone on the weekends. It will be tough to get time together during the week. I, however, am going to try my best to remember how much fun we have together and just go with it. I think I did ok last year, but I want to be even better about not pressuring him regarding how much time he has to spend with me (although it is very important to the health of a relationship.) It is only 3 months and I know it will fly by. I will try not to wish the time away, though, because I know that at some point in my life I will want that time back. So,

Ready or not, here it comes.

Goals for 2005

I'm not going to make resolutions, because everyone knows how difficult those are to keep. Instead, I will set goals for myself. They are, in no particular order

• finally finish my pilot's license
• get an internship
• ride my bike a lot (get in shape)
• read my bible/pray more often
• be better about getting work done early
• stretch at least once a day

Those are it for now, although I know I will add more as the year goes on...