To drop or not to drop...

...that is the question. First, I was very torn between whether to drop Avionics or Aeroelasticity. Avionics turned out to be a pain in the butt for an elective (thank you Dr. Johnson), but on the other hand, I have had zero time to spend on Aeroelasticity, so although it doesn't seem to be too hard, I am still getting poor grades (lack of time bad grades.) After much debating I decided to just suck it up and stick with aeroelasticity...

...until tonight. Tuesday is our senior design Midterm Briefing. My plan was to have the aero homework done by now, but I've been very sick since last Thursday, so I was basically useless. Now not only do I not have the homework done, but I am also behind on my senior design stuff.

I hesitate to drop Aeroelasticity for two reasons. The first is that I will only have 9 hours this semester (... is that a bad thing?) and the second is that I *might* end up not graduating until the Spring of 2006. I have talked a lot to my parents about this, and brought up both the "I'm so old" and "I have no money" arguments against it. My Mom asked me what the big hurry was and reminded me that in the grand scheme of things, it's not that much money. I love that I have super supportive parents that come from a different culture where people aren't always trying to hurry through life and don't worry so much about things.

I would really, really hate for my other grades to suffer because of this one (and in my opinion, stupid and utterly useless) class.

Anyway, so basically I have pretty much decided to drop another class... but I guess I am still having doubts. Opinions, anyone?

Time Flies

Was it a weird week or what? Hey Katy, there was a full moon!

I've been meaning to post, but this week flew by just like all the others. It was a lab reports week, which means I had reports due in both Controls and Structures. Both Monday and Tuesday I left my room in the morning only to return at around 11 or 12.

I went to Krispy Kreme for the first time! It was yummy :-)

I think my body has been trying to get sick for some time and on Wednesday night/Thursday morning it succeeded. Since then I have not been feeling my best, hopefully it will go away before the end of the weekend (busy week this week... as usual) I haven't been able to go workout because of being sick, which makes me sad because I missed the good spinning class for the 3rd time in a row!!! Oh well... Will had also agreed to take me on a ride that he does frequently (I'm excited to see what I can do) but that was supposed to be this morning and I'm not well enough yet. I am definitely plannning on spinning tomorrow afternoon, though.

Next weekend we're planning a hiking trip with Jason and Apryl. I got to talk to her some at the Lair party and she's really cool! Speaking to her was refreshing, I feel like she is more like me than everyone else we know. We definitely have several things in common, including how much we like kids.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the whole Karma thing. I have been seeing lately that you definitely get back what you put out in the world. That makes me want to be very careful and only put out "positive" energy. That doesn't mean that bad things don't happen to good people, though. Maybe it is more of a "you reap what you sow" sort of deal. I just want to make sure I'm planting and investing in the right places.

I finally broke down and decided to get the tablet pc. Already it has been super useful. I was in the student center commons on friday trying to configure it and I ran into Little Adam (pokie) for the first time in a long time. It was good to see him, reminded me of several years ago. He invited me and Will to go skiing in Vermont for spring break, which would be awesome but sounds super expensive. I think I prefer the beach anyway (and Will agrees.)

Even though I was sick Will and I went out on a date last night. I think it had been a while since we'd been out alone, since we've been double dating and doing parties a lot recently. It was a lot of fun, it reminded me of what a good thing we have. We went out to dinner and saw Hitch, which was really good! We had a great time together... which is usually the case :-)

I definitely take him for granted a lot. He is so, so, so patient with me. This week when I was sick he was always there to take care of me. He brought me medicine and made sure I ate and tucked me in. I know no one else that takes such good care of me! I am a lucky, lucky girl. I often wonder how I was fortunate enough to end up with someone like him. Particularly since he doesn't mind that I am so 'old' (in fact, he prefers it) Maybe it's that whole karma thing coming around? If so, I must've done something really good! :-p

Several big decisions have come up recently. Or, maybe not so big. Anyway, decisions are always difficult for someone like me. The first was to decide which class to drop. I finally settled on Avionics, but I may end up dropping aeroelasticity as well (since life hasn't slowed down any, despite my having 1 less class). The next is regarding the Ovarian Cycle... the "century" ride is the same day as the Brasstown Bald stage of the Tour de Georgia. I asked Will awhile ago to take me to see it. I'm really disappointed that I have to choose between them. On one hand, it is something that I will (have been) training a long time for. On the other hand, how many times do you get to see Lance Armstrong race? Plus, would I rather ride indoor for 6 hours or up a mountain? Ugh... The third decision I can't write about, but I think I have settled on something that is healthy.

I can't believe it's March already!

The Learning Kind

I am not sure about everyone else, but I believe that college is not only a place to get a degree. I have a different idea of what the "college experience" should be (surprise, surprise.) I don't think that we should only learn from books. We should learn from each other, learn from situations and use these experiences to push the boundaries of ourselves in order to build character and self-esteem.

My question to you is: have you pushed yourself? Are you a better and stronger person than you were yesterday? Have you grown? Do those around you challenge you? If not, why not?

This this "senior" year I have learned more about myself than perhaps any other year before. I am so grateful to those around me because they continue to teach me invaluable lessons day by day. I think these lessons have helped build my character. I am "ok" with where I am today. I think it's very important to have strong self-esteem before heading out to the "real world" because as tough as things are now, they'll only get tougher. It's important that it's built on who you are and not what you do, because the day will come when we all fail at something. The question is: how will you handle it?

One of the things that I have been very challenged by this year is my "co-dependency." The definition is slightly misleading. Think of it as a "pleasing personality" - I like to make others happy, but often get walked all over during the process. I am a doormat, but this year I have been working on setting boundaries and respecting myself more. I believe that I have come a long way, although I know several people who would prefer it if I stayed the way I was. One example is the flying club. Boy, wouldn't they love it if I kept taking care of everything for everyone. But, I realize that this isn't helpful. I just feel over-run and the club doesn't really get a benefit, because I won't be around forever.

As a person with a pleasing personality, it is very difficult for me to have appropriate friendships. I have been reading a very helpful book (yep, I read self help books :-p) and it helps outline some qualities of a good friendship. According to this author, they are:

1. Confidentiality - what we say cannot be misconstrued or used against us
2. Purpose
3. Listening - it is important to be listened to
4. Without Judgement - being able to share fears without being criticized
5. A safe environment - a place to explore issues
6. Giving advice sparingly - offering advice is generally detrimental
7. Shared experience
8. Humor
9. Encouragement, not caretaking - ability to empathize but not become enmeshed
10. Challenging - they cannot tell us what to do or judge our actions but must find ways to measure challenges for us

I think these are great guidelines. How many people get this type of friendship from you? How many give you this type of friendship? I can think of maybe one person that I get it from, and maybe partly give to one also. Wouldn't it be great if all of our friendships were based on this? They would open up a whole new world.

I'm interested, are you?

Memories...

I heard that some people called my relationship with Will "miserable" and asserted that we must have no social life.

I have a couple of issues with that. First of all, I don't judge other's relationships. Also, I have always known that I enjoy different things for fun, and never have put down what other people do. I've just said that it's not for me. Saying
things of that nature reminds me of high school... and I expected us all to act like "adults" and handle things better!

So, back to the point. I was reminiscing with Will last night, we were trying to decide what makes us miserable and boring. Our first official date was flying an airplane to Athens, GA and throughout the past year and a half we have...

- climbed 4 moutains
- seen 1 gorge
- been to two different beaches
- 4 different airplane museums
- 1 airshow
- travelled to 4 different cities
- I learned to fly a stunt kite and will's airplane
- been to the symphony
- been to the fox theatre
- have eaten a ton of meat at a churrascaria
- 2 new years eves together
- bike ride dates to piedmont park in the morning :-)
- been to the north georgia mountains
- 1 backpacking/camping trip (my first!)

...and countless other good memories. Now, I realize that not everyone may enjoy these things, but I've gotten to try countless new things with him and broaden my horizons. I know some people may feel like college is the time to live it up because they'll never get the chance again, and this is true. They won't have a chance. But, I'm going to have even more fun when there's not schoolwork to hold me back!

Never Been Kissed

I was thinking about a line from the movie, where Molly Shannon is in the sex-ed class and is saying how her mother used to tell her

"No one will want to buy the whole ice cream truck if you're handing out popsicles for free."

This subject is one that is always on my mind. Throughout high school and college I've been called a "prude" a lot. This used to bother me. (Although, I just looked up the word - to check the spelling no less - and I think it's a little extreme to me but who knows what other people think.) Anyway, the moral is that it doesn't bother me anymore.
I suppose I always felt like it's a bad thing and that I should fit in more. Lately (over the past year or so) however I'm becoming more comfortable and even proud of my differences (I don't think I'm that different, I just don't know where all the others like me are!) I like how I was raised and I like convictions and my standards. I think it gives me the one-up on the whole self-esteem race.

Anyway, what is also important, is that it makes proud that I never have things to tell to Will that would disappoint him. And that each thing that we share is that much more valuable. Isn't that cool? It's the easiest way to invest ever!

Anyway, that's my opinion.

Valentine's Day

This year was by far my favorite Valentine's Day (it wins over last year because Will was actually here for it!)

Mondays are really busy days for both of us (I'm in class til 6, he's in class 7-10) so when I was asked to watch Colin and Maddy I agreed. We decided to have some dessert when I got back. So, I receive a text message asking if I'd had dinner, which I hadn't because Mondays are so crazy! Anyway, I head back after babysitting to be surprised by this:

Table for two please!

An AE dork's dream date

It was perfect! A yummy dinner (notice the airplane napkins!) and one of the best chocolate desserts ever - ice cream!

I know a lot of people speculate - there were no flowers, no stuffed things (except for me - haha!), no expensive gifts, but I like that it had Will's "flavor" to it. He definitely does things differently, and hey, that's alright with me! Different is really good!

Using my legs for the greater good

There are so many things that I have wanted to post but I've had no time. I think I'm going to make time, because like Jen said, I don't want to lose my words.

My first catch-up post will be about the thing that I am most excited about at the moment. Saturday Biff forwarded me an email about something called the Ovarian Cycle. It is a 10 week indoor cycling program culminating in a Century ride (100 miles) to raise money for Ovarian Cancer. I signed up right away.

I am very, very excited. Cycling is something that I grow to like more day by day, and I'm thrilled to use it to help those with cancer or even to prevent cancer. I'm also really excited because Jen is doing it also, so I've been getting to spend more time with her(which is lots of fun!) Registering for the Ovarian Cycle means that I get to attend the CRC's Spinning Classes, so Jen and I have been waking each other up at the butt crack of dawn to go to them. Good times!

I was a little worried at first because to participate you have to raise at least $400 dollars. This instantly brought memories of my mission trip to Jamaica back. But, I learned huge lessons about that back then, so I decided to try it out (plus, I know a lot more people with real jobs now!) I am always really pleasantly surprised and touched by how generous people are. My Mom's boss, whom I've met only twice, donated $100. My old friend from church J.T. (more my brother's friend... I haven't seen him recently) donated $50 last night. My sister gave $50 (bless her poor little heart.) And the list goes on and on... to where I've raised $300 in either pledges or direct donations in less than a week.

Makes you believe a little more that people are truly good, doesn't it?