Rollercoaster

I have been on an emotional rollercoaster for the past few weeks. I don't know what's going on. I am moody, irritable. I keep picking fights with Will. The littlest thing will send me into a spin. This should be a happy time - we are celebrating our two year anniversary on July 26. We had a wonderful weekend, but here it is Tuesday and I picked a fight at work.

I figure it's a combination of things, and none really to do with him. The loneliness, the feeling that I'm getting left behind while the lives of the people I know take off with direction, the fear that comes with the unknown, the loss of perspective. Then there's the fear that we will go back to that place again, that I will become too dependent. Wondering about whether the little things will become large things as time goes on and I look to "settle down." It causes me to put up walls.

For so long the issues and problems in our relationship have revolved around Will and I guess I have become comfortable. But now I have to take responsibility. And I really hate that I make things difficult and make him doubt how nice and sweet he is.

Girls really are more trouble than they're worth, aren't they?