After trying since the beginning of this semester to see a counselor in the GT Counseling center, I finally had my first appointment this past Thursday. Diagnosis? Moderate depression.
There are many things going through my head right now. Why couldn't I have had an appointment sooner? So much would be better right now if I had. I am so full of regret and anger.
The diagnosis in ways has been good and in ways has been bad. Thank god this isn't because I'm a terrible person, thank god I'm not as weak as some think I am. But, on the other hand, I am that weak. And now this will require work for the rest of my life.
Most of my "friends" that I have told have made fun of me in one way or another. I can't blame them, because they don't see the symptoms. I don't show everyone the symptoms, because this will break the illusion of me being tough and strong. At the same time, though, it sucks. They don't understand or don't seem to be sensitive, which makes me feel lonely. And right now, I don't want to be alone.
They think I'm using this to get out of doing my work. Maybe I am, but at the same time motivating myself for every day is extremely difficult right now.
The one who does understand, doesn't want to sacrifice a little right now for better things in the future. That sucks too, but can I blame them? No. How much is too much? Well, I guess I am currently too much. Which helps the process right along.
Tuesday I go to the doctor to get my thyroid checked and to look into potential medication. I'm crossing my fingers about the thyroid, although according to a friend whose sister has similar problems, regulating the thyroid helped but still didn't fix it.
From what I've read, cycles can last for as long as two years. I don't think I've had major bouts that last for more than a few months, and even right now seems mild compared to the middle of Fall semester.
I'm tired and I want the easy solution.
Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
2 years ago
4 comments:
The best solution is called psychotherapy, not drugs. It's amazing how you guys take drugs for absolutely every single thing you have...
Current research shows that a combination of psychotherapy, specifically cognitive behavioral therapy, and medication is the best approach.
Considering that in most cases it is a chemical imbalance, NOT using medication seems to be a little naive. Plus, if mine is cause by a biological malfunction, like a hyperactive thyroid, then I think psychotherapy would be a little lacking.
How can you wonder why everyone hates the French when you have such an asinine, stuck up, lousy attitude.
You don't know everything Olive and even if you did, that's not what you should've said to a person going through trouble.
To "Anonymous": If you think this a reason to HATE the French, YOU have a serious problem: you don't hate people because you don't agree with them or what they think. And you certainly don't judge 60 million people by listening or reading about what 1 person writes or says. Have you lived in France, tried to understand the culture, the people or why people think the way they do??? If not, then be kind enough not to judge the French people based on stereotypes or what you hear on TV. Secondly, I don't have an asinine attitude and I wouldn't be reading or posting on Livia's blog if I wasn't caring for her. And for your information I went through severe depression not so long ago so I know a bit about the topic. Finally the methods used to treat are different depending on where you live and who you consult. Psychology is not taught the same way in Europe and in the US (and I know that because my mum is a psy and I read a bit about the topic). There exist a lot of natural ways to treat chemical imbalance.
Sincerely,
-Frenchy
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