My ex of three years (and probably two years too long) gets married today. If certain things hadn't happened, that would've been me. He had the ring. He had the plans. And me?
All I can think is Thank God it isn't me.
Things are so different, so much better. I could've ended up living in a house in the suburbs with a man who has no idea who he is trying to fit into a mold that he inherited from his parents. With some kids. And a dog.
But instead, I'm the the beginning of a career, kicking ass and taking names at my job. I've got a boy who, instead of just settling, is also kicking ass and taking names (and writing code) at his job. We live the life. We dream. We get to travel. Ski. Ride bikes on the beach. Go whereever. Drink whatever. See whatever. Laugh together. Get along together. Experience everything. Even the things that I like. Even the new things.
And? I think his family likes me. Or, if not, at least they are welcoming and inviting.
I have to send a thank you note to those friends whom I met in the fall of 2006. They taught me so much.
Thank god it isn't me.
Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
2 years ago
2 comments:
I expect this to happen in the not-too-distant future with my ex of four years (and probably two years too long as well). I already think sometimes when I see him and his girlfriend... that could be me, and at a certain deep level I feel a twinge of regret and longing. He had the ring. He had the plans. He had promised me a swimming pool in the backyard.
Then I remember why it ended and why I chose for it to be that way. And then, like you, I count my blessings that God was watching out for me and I didn't get stuck in a destructive relationship just because we'd been in a relationship for so long.
We all grow in relationships, and the direction isn't necessarily together. I think most frustrating for us is the behavior of our exes when things ended.. they didn't handle the situation as men, but rather as little boys, acting in immature and horribly unbecoming ways that just solidified our gut feelings.
I am totally with you on this one. I think in a sense (at least for me) we are angry that our exes, whom we poured so much energy and time into, didn't turn out to be cooler people. In fact, without us, they weren't that cool at all!
-M
And say hi to Danny for me!
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